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No Contact, and why I'm Now a firm believer!


HurtKurt

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I've had a huge setback in the last couple of days. My ex and I didn't date for very long but I fell in love with her. In fact she's the only woman I've ever truly loved. That makes it much harder going through a breakup. I messed up and honestly I get why she was upset and angry-I mean anyone would be.

 

Something that really bothers me is that she didn't give me or the relationship a chance after that. I apologized and everything but maybe certain things are dealbreakers. It also makes me wonder if and how much she cared for me. Well ever since the breakup for the past few months I've contacted her-called, texted, flowers, mixed tape, cards etc trying to apologize and remind her of what we had and asking for her forgiveness.

 

After the first breakup I sent her things a lot more and then it was like once a month. Well come to find out 2 days ago now that she has a new boyfriend. They have been together for several months-get this since about 3 weeks after our breakup! She lives in another town so I guess that's why it took me so long to figure out. On top of that she posted and tagged pictures of them together.

 

Man it hurts. So not only am I dealing with her having a new man, I feel like an utter complete IDIOT because I've been trying to talk and contact her for months and just 3 weeks after the breakup she is already seeing someone else. I thought maybe if I give her time and space she'll forgive me or we can at least be friends. Clearly she has moved on since it's been idk 4 or 5 months now. As hard as it is I guess I need to try to do the same though I think a part of me will always be with her. I hope ppl will learn from my mistakes though, that no contact really is the best way to go. I mean I've been sitting around moping and Pining for her for months, and here she is according to her pics going out dancing and having fun with this other guy. And now because oh how I've acted I'm sure it's obvious and she knows oh, he must still have feelings for me so I doubt she will talk to me or even want to be friends.

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Don't feel like you're alone man. There is quite a few of us here who are going through the exact same situation as you are, myself included. My girlfriend too, started going out with a new guy about a month after our we broke up...and how did I find out? Facebook. Tore me up seeing her comments, pictures and such. I deactivated my facebook to get away from it all and it has helped tremendously. Maybe you should try it.

 

Now that you know about her new boyfriend, i'm telling you IT WILL GET EASIER. The initial shock that overcomes you of "Oh man, now I really can't get her back since she's seeing someone else..." but once that passes...it's smooth sailing from there for lack of a better phrase. Consider her having a new boyfriend your 'closure' like I did...accept the fact that she has moved on and she most likely isn't coming back. You tried, and she walked. Once you accept those things, real healing can take place.

 

Stay strong buddy. At least you know now that NC is what you gotta do. Who knows, maybe with the sudden halt in you contacting her it may spring her curiosity and she might contact you after a while...but that's a whole another thread in itself :)

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