TheGrimSweeper Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 (edited) So my ex just sent me this after sending me a msg a couple weeks ago which I didnt really respond too. It sounds like complete breadcrumbs to me: "Hey. Just wanted to send you a quick message to see how you are. You've just been popping into my head a lot recently as weird as that sounds." Im not going to reply right away, going to wait a bit but any suggestions on what to say? I dont want to completely ignore it but I am going to be very non chalant about it. Edited February 28, 2011 by TheGrimSweeper Link to post Share on other sites
Layzie89 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 It sounds like complete breadcrumbs to me Then why are you even contemplating responding to it? You can respond very non chalant but inside do you FEEL non chalant about the whole break up already? If the answer is no then you'd only be setting yourself up for further heartbreak man..what if she doesn't respond the way you'd hope her to? You'll be set back a few steps as far as healing goes. As anyone else would tell you, these are bread crumbs and she's fishing to see if you're still around to bite. Don't risk it man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 I wouldnt say I'm completely nonchalant inside but I have gotten to that point where I can accept it if it is over forever. I also went on a date for the first time since the breakup with a girl last night and this shows up on my BBM this morning. I just don't agree with full on ignoring someone, I honestly think that makes it look like im bothered more by it. Link to post Share on other sites
cboy90 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 If she sent you that message on BBM and you read it, she's going to know that you read it. When she sends a message it shows up with a checkmark and a 'd' next to it (delivered). When you open the message, that little 'd' changes to an 'r' (read). I hope you knew that before you opened the message. Otherwise she WILL know your ignoring her. On a lighter note, I'd still say ignore her haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 If she sent you that message on BBM and you read it, she's going to know that you read it. When she sends a message it shows up with a checkmark and a 'd' next to it (delivered). When you open the message, that little 'd' changes to an 'r' (read). I hope you knew that before you opened the message. Otherwise she WILL know your ignoring her. On a lighter note, I'd still say ignore her haha. Oh Im aware, this is one reason why I hate BBM when it comes to relationships and stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
cboy90 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Oh Im aware, this is one reason why I hate BBM when it comes to relationships and stuff. Oh but there is a way around that. When they send you a message, open your message folder (press 'm') and you can see the first few words of what they wrote. After that, you can delete the message (just highlight it and click delete). After you do this, on their end, it will make it seem as if you never even opened the message As long as you DON'T open your BBM (pressing 'n') it won't show up as an 'r' on their end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 Oh but there is a way around that. When they send you a message, open your message folder (press 'm') and you can see the first few words of what they wrote. After that, you can delete the message (just highlight it and click delete). After you do this, on their end, it will make it seem as if you never even opened the message As long as you DON'T open your BBM (pressing 'n') it won't show up as an 'r' on their end. Too late she for sure saw it and sent the following message a few hours later: "Just throwing it out there. That wasnt a message because I want to meet up and tell you I want to get together. I'm doing a lot better but I know I'm not ready for that. But your still welcome to not reply" The whole thing seems very pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
cboy90 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Too late she for sure saw it and sent the following message a few hours later: "Just throwing it out there. That wasnt a message because I want to meet up and tell you I want to get together. I'm doing a lot better but I know I'm not ready for that. But your still welcome to not reply" The whole thing seems very pointless. I really can't even say what her motives are. So she's basically saying that she's doing this for no reason? Just to say hi? Link to post Share on other sites
dng Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Too late she for sure saw it and sent the following message a few hours later: "Just throwing it out there. That wasnt a message because I want to meet up and tell you I want to get together. I'm doing a lot better but I know I'm not ready for that. But your still welcome to not reply" The whole thing seems very pointless. From my experience, proceed to run in the other direction as quickly as you can. She's just missing you like she'd miss a friend and she's only thinking about herself, not about the consequences all this could have on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 I really can't even say what her motives are. So she's basically saying that she's doing this for no reason? Just to say hi? I couldnt tell you either. Shes a really confusing person. She wanted to stay friends with me for now while shes "going through this period". I have a feeling shes just sending these to test me and see if I want to be friends or not. I gave a super short and sweet reply a couple hours after her last one, saying "Just been busy at work, I am doing good though". Going to leave it at that, she replied sounding really sad, almost like trying to make me feel bad. Or maybe she was hoping I was still hurting? Who knows. "Oh okay, glad to hear." Link to post Share on other sites
cboy90 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I couldnt tell you either. Shes a really confusing person. She wanted to stay friends with me for now while shes "going through this period". I have a feeling shes just sending these to test me and see if I want to be friends or not. I gave a super short and sweet reply a couple hours after her last one, saying "Just been busy at work, I am doing good though". Going to leave it at that, she replied sounding really sad, almost like trying to make me feel bad. Or maybe she was hoping I was still hurting? Who knows. "Oh okay, glad to hear." She wanted a reaction out of you. And you didn't give it to her. Good job! Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 She wanted a reaction out of you. And you didn't give it to her. Good job! Thanks, it kills me at the same time cause I do love her and hate seeing her upset, but I'm not interested in just being friends. This is the second time in 2 weeks I think she has kinda "tested" me on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Wow, I've now gotten the following message. "if your ever ready I'm still up for going for a drink or walk to chat. But when your ready, if ever. Good night." Now she's mad I haven't caved in? Link to post Share on other sites
screwball Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Why do her actions have to have a negative connotation to them? She may honestly just want to hang out and see how you're doing. Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean that she can't care about you, especially if you were a significant part of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Why do her actions have to have a negative connotation to them? She may honestly just want to hang out and see how you're doing. Just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean that she can't care about you, especially if you were a significant part of her life. They dont. But if she honestly never wants to get back together she should respect me enough to not send me these mixed signals and just let me move on. Anway she pushed for the Drink / Walk. I told her I'm really busy for the next few days (which I actually am) but that I need to go shopping soon and if she wants she can tag along in about a weeks time. I am going to go in with no expectations and am just going to take it light and fun. If she really wants to tell me something this is her opportunity too, otherwise its back to NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Well we had the meetup, nothing happened didnt really bring anything up about the relationship and have gone NC since. Shes now asking me if I want to watch a movie with her tonight? What does she want? Link to post Share on other sites
Veng Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Well we had the meetup, nothing happened didnt really bring anything up about the relationship and have gone NC since. Shes now asking me if I want to watch a movie with her tonight? What does she want? She wants to watch a movie with you tonight, nothing else Yes, she still cares about you and misses you but just as a friend. She doesn't want a relationship and she made it clear. There are really no hidden signs. Take it as it is. Want to be just friends with her - hang out with her. Want something more - go on living your life without her. Link to post Share on other sites
petal11 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 hope it goes well for you.. be cool . if it were me I would think about setting a time limit and arranging to meet some other friends to do something nice and fun after you spend time with her.. just somthing to think about..take care.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Didnt end up going, just said I was already busy with something else and another time. I dont want to just be friends with her so Im not going that route, and I dont want her to think she can get me to come running everytime she asks. It seems kind of weird that she would all of a sudden be trying really hard to be friends now, 3 months + the breakup when she didnt before. I told her we couldnt be friends when she asked, she cried a lot then I left shortly after and we didnt really speak for almost 2 months. All of a sudden now shes been messaging me quite a bit over the past couple weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
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