Struggling.

[LK30]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Hi all,

 

I've been posting on this site since I split from my ex a year ago. I've had a string of failed relationships and no excuse to moan about being single as I'm often the dumper. It sounds selfish but I just feel there's no point being with someone if you don't have feelings for them as it's not fair on them. However I'm pretty sure I've never been in love and never been with someone I've thought to myself 'yes, I could see myself with you for the rest of my life.'

 

Funnily enough my personality is much more positive in work than in my personal life and I get on well with people, get respected and feel quite happy. I know I need to move on at some point as I'm sitting in my comfort zone but not totally 'fulfilled' in any aspect of my life.

 

I'm unsure if I'm depressed, but I certainly don't have a lot of the symptoms like wanting to drink, not getting out of bed, moody with people etc so perhaps I'm just at the 'crossroads' of life at 31. My younger siblings have settled down and I admit I do feel a bit envious.

 

I have debated counselling although I've resisted as I've read that too often you dwell on the past whereas I need to plan my future. I went on a confidence course recently and actually felt more outgoing than the other people there.

 

My confidence is useless with the opposite sex. I can't approach anyone and rely on online dating and speed dating which I find too artificial and believe relationships are better based on friendships first if that makes sense. I stupidly sent a Valentine's card to my ex recently and never got a reply although I didn't think she would. I admit I miss her, but if anything can go wrong with my love life it will! I'm average looking and do (wrongly) find myself comparing myself to my bro who seems to have it all!

 

I am debating just packing up and leaving my part of the UK for a fresh start. I've read all these confidence books but I just am who I am and feel I need to accept I'm just me and take it or leave it. I certainly have no enemies. My son (aged 7) lives 3 hours drive away so have been tempted to move closer to him at the expense of throwing myself into an alien environment without my support network and my job which bizarrely makes me feel more confident and happy.

 

I just wanted to rant more than anything as I just feel a bit all over the place at the moment. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far and not wanting to slap me round the face to snap out me of this way of thinking!! [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

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[Shadowburn]

I'm not exactly sure what your question is, but looks like you just haven't me a right person yet.

 

And I commend you on ending things with people when you don't see it working out long term. It is honest and fair - much better that to be with someone just to pass time and to wait until better person will come along.