Jump to content

thoughts, obsessing, some 'thoughts' on this...


heel_ing

Recommended Posts

My philosophy on the mind and breakups: (dumpee perspective)

 

The conscious mind is the last to know its over, it will do anything to maintain connection to the ex in some way. Even if there was closure, and there is no hope. Of course if there wasn't, then....

 

Months after you can find yourself thinking about them constantly, what they are doing, who they are with, etc... Even when logically you know it doesn't matter, they are not in your life anymore, its not your business, its irrelevant, and worse, its holding you back.

 

Thing is, you cannot fight it or suppress it (the thoughts.) And distraction, while important and necessary at times, is only a very temporary salve.

 

What i've found is that my RELATIONSHIP to these thoughts has changed over time. They will be there, almost constantly when I'm not focused on other things, but what changes is the emotional response to them.

 

It is similar to what spiritual teachers say about observing thoughts and not 'buying into them.' Thing is, I've found, you cannot force the process of being able to to do this. I tried, earlier on. You just have to weather that storm.

 

It is true, for the most part, only time gives one the ability to disconnect emotionally from these oh so powerful thought patterns many of us are going through.

 

A fascinating thing seems to happen when obsessing loses its emotional charge: you begin to obsess less!

------------

 

I gotta add - mornings still are HARD!! I know y'all feel me on this. The time from when I wake up to when i'm finally out the door and active, wow, even after a few months, my mind can sure go places....

Edited by heel_ing
one more thing..
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi.. I just want to try and give you some tips on what I do to stop these thoughts.. When you see somthing or hear somthing that reminds you of them or even if you just feel them creeping into your mind.. STOP! I say it over and over again and I picture a stop sign. If the memory or whatever your thinking about seems to strike a strong cord with you picture thousands of them. Hold that image in your mind until the thought goes away repeat this as many times as necessary. I also like to hit the delete button whil picturing my stop sign lol.. Delete delete delete that thought.

 

Its a bit odd but its the way I have been training my mind to stop focusing on my ex and I have to say over the last 4 days its been working wonders for me..

Link to post
Share on other sites
vtbrokenhearted

I've been practicing meditation since my whole thingamajiggy began, and even though it doesn't work all the time, I think about the following:

 

A thought is just a thought. And the more thoughts that pop up and connect to each other, I begin creating a story inside my mind. I guess you could say I'm delusional when I start obsessing and assuming. Rather than seeing reality and living in the moment, I begin living the story I've created in my head. So, I say to myself, "thinking." I don't say it in a negative way because I like feeling my emotions. I've come to realize it's okay to be pissed off or sad or whatever I am. I say "thinking" calmly to myself until those thoughts that grip my insides have dissipated. Then...I get to see what my moment is about whether it's pouring, hot as hell, whatever, I'm noticing it and there with it.

 

I also saw a great video in which a monk said something like, we label things when we find them. We label our boyfriend, boyfriend or wife, wife and then when we lose them we're so sad. But in reality, we're just labeling another human being. They were that at one point, but they change, and we can't hang onto the labelled person because it only makes us more unhappy. It's like having a special place the two of you went to, and now you can't go back there because of the memories. If you stopped labeling that place with the memories, it would still be just as beautiful.

 

I couldn't do the latter until recently. I felt like I was a prisoner on my own property. After my husband left two months after our wedding, I couldn't go in the back yard because that is where the apple tree is we got married under is. I couldn't even look back there until recently when I began telling myself that it's just a tree. It worked! Yes, it's been a lot of work, but it flipping worked!!

 

I know some of this sounds kooky, but it's been working for me. If it helps you, I'm happy.

Link to post
Share on other sites
thiomaslandcong
download TRON: Legacy download movie online download 13 download movie online download 127 Hours download movie online download Black Swan download movie online download Cyrus download movie online download Death Race 2 download movie online download Despicable Me download movie online download Due Date download movie online download Easy A download movie online download Faster download movie online download Freakonomics download movie online download Game of Death download movie online download Gulliver's Travels download movie online download Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 download movie online download Invictus download movie online download Iron Man 2 download movie online download Jack Goes Boating download movie online download Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole download movie online download Let Me In download movie online download Little ****ers download movie online download Love and Other Drugs download movie online download Megamind download movie online download Moby Dick download movie online download Open Season 3 download movie online download Scared Shrekless download movie online download Shrek Forever After download movie online download The A-Team download movie online download Tangled download movie online download Season of the Witch download movie online download The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader download movie online download The Fighter download movie online download The Freebie download movie online download The Kid download movie online download The Lost Future download movie online download The Next Three Days download movie online download The Social Network download movie online download The Tourist download movie online download The Twilight Saga: Eclipse download movie online download The Warrior's Way download movie online download Ticking Clock download movie online download Tomorrow, When the War Began download movie online download Toy Story 3 download movie online download True Grit download movie online download Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie download movie online download Unstoppable download movie online download Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps download movie online download Welcome to the Rileys download movie online download Yogi Bear download movie online
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...