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Need some encouragement. 2 years since break up, few months since contact


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What do you think of this?

Long story short - with girl for 5 years 4 months +

Leave her cause she's hanging out with other guy - hooks up with said guy 3 days later. She never had a job, smoked and hurt me alot. She actually talked to guy who was madly in love with her 2 years into our relationship - I left her then - she begged for me back - I took her back - she did what she did - I left.

 

It's been 2 years. I was no contact for a while she kept calling me for the first year like crazy I never picked up.

 

Last contact was me just saying hope all is good - and her low life alcoholic boyfriend got mad at me - never replied to him - HA HA

 

So, recently talking to a friend who is in a long distance relationship - it just triggered feelings of me and my ex.

 

I started looking at her facebook. Even fantasizing about her.

 

Sometimes I feel she was so perfect - but I know she wasn't. She went clubbing while I worked, was selfish, yelled at me in public etc. I admit my faults as well. There was no cheating in the relatonship - althought I think she was emotionally sometimes.

 

I've been with 3 girls since. The last I ended because the girl kept talking to her ex, and even cheated on her ex which I didn't like. I've never cheated on a girl and I'm 29.

 

I just want to move on and get my long term ex out of my head. I try to meet new girls and have - but I stop as soon as I sense they don't put in as much as I do. It has to be mutual.

 

I will never deal with a girl again where I'm giving so much and they don't reciprocate.

 

I see the divorce board here - and I'm grateful I don't have kids or the 5 years didn't drag on for 10 years - I saved 5 years right?! lol

 

I just feel really alone sometimes. I go out alone and meet friends downtown - but I even feel like my friends don't care sometimes.

 

I AM commited to healing this though. I have faith I will find the right girl for me. I will be strong single now and will focus on my goals.

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Dude...

 

You date TRASHY women that treat you like ****! However... The women are not the main problem here...

 

You are the common denominator in this equation!

 

I understand if it was one... but all of them.

 

You have a low self esteem and a bad self image!

 

Either go see someone about it

 

or

 

go to the book store and stroll down the Self-Help section... Pick up 2 or 3 books that speak to not allowing yourself to be treated like ***** and read them. It will be the best $35 bucks you ever spent if you learn and practice...

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I'm not too sure if I agree with homebrew (although in the past I have on many occasions). I am overly idealistic though so that maybe why.

 

I'm sure you will find the right girl. The trick is not to look and it will happen. You are thinking of your ex because she was your only long term girl who you loved with all your heart. She wasn't right for you but your thirsty and in a desert at the moment, just don't be fooled by the mirages. She wasn't perfect, and you can do so much better. Your still young and have your best days in front of you. Take time to improve yourself and when you least expect it, the girl you crave will pop out of nowhere, a girl who appreciates what you do, and reciprocates the love you show to her.

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Dude...

 

You date TRASHY women that treat you like ****! However... The women are not the main problem here...

 

You are the common denominator in this equation!

 

I understand if it was one... but all of them.

 

You have a low self esteem and a bad self image!

 

Either go see someone about it

 

or

 

go to the book store and stroll down the Self-Help section... Pick up 2 or 3 books that speak to not allowing yourself to be treated like ***** and read them. It will be the best $35 bucks you ever spent if you learn and practice...

 

I can see that. I am respeonsible and I attracted those girls. At the start they wern't like that. I'm glad I'm out of it. I actually am into self help, I have been for a while. I feel good about progressing and growing. That's actually the main reason I left - I stood up and said No more of this - also no more to My abusive brother and father - now I'm commited to improving my self image and I've raised my standards. My home was choatic growing up, that's why I probably gravitated towards that. My home was also loving and good at times - so that's what I want next.

 

Thanks for the help, I appreciate it.

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I'm not too sure if I agree with homebrew (although in the past I have on many occasions). I am overly idealistic though so that maybe why.

 

I'm sure you will find the right girl. The trick is not to look and it will happen. You are thinking of your ex because she was your only long term girl who you loved with all your heart. She wasn't right for you but your thirsty and in a desert at the moment, just don't be fooled by the mirages. She wasn't perfect, and you can do so much better. Your still young and have your best days in front of you. Take time to improve yourself and when you least expect it, the girl you crave will pop out of nowhere, a girl who appreciates what you do, and reciprocates the love you show to her.

 

Thank you I appreciate your reply. I agree with the not looking thing - I'm torn between that because part of what I've always learned is - act towards your goals consistently. I decided not to go out looking but I do put myself in social situations, and keep it open. I really don't know. I agree with you though, they come when your not looking. I agree about not being fooled by the mirages as well! It's about character not a girls personality and appearance. I will take more time to improve myself and stay working hard and positive.

 

Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!

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Just the fact that your name is health means you got the right idea and are on track. Just stay focused on that feeling of health and keeping moving forward and you will heal, and you will find someone wonderful.

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