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The last bridge is burnt...


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So my ex quit her job today (she works for a company that I own a part off) and this evening out of the blue she quit her job...

 

It shouldn't bother me but it does - it was the last bridge I had with her and in some way it was the one last connection I had to her - it was the one way I got little bits of info on how she was doing etc... And as of today that last bridge was burnt...

 

I do still have to see her on Monday to sort out the final bits and pieces and it's gonna be awkward... I guess now full NC will start...

 

I know that this is probably a good thing yet for some reason it's really gotten to me and I can't stop thinking about it... There is a part of me that wishes that this didn't happen because it seemed to be the one last thing I could hold on to for god only knows what reason, yet I guess now I can truly let go...

 

Getting the little bits of info on her and hear about her asking about me in some way always made me feel something and now I know it's truly the final end...

 

On Monday it would have a yr since when our courtship started and in 4 weeks would have been our first anniversary... It's kinda strange how quickly time flies and how much can happen in a year...

 

I guess it just amazes me to see how far I have come - in some ways good and in other ways not so good .... I have achieved so much this year yet lost so much this year... I guess the one thing that I gained the most this year are the lessons I learnt, I learnt that I had it within me to love another person, I learnt to overcome my fear of commitment, I am learning to overcome my fear of abandonment, I learnt that I have it within me to overcome almost any hurdle in life...

 

It's just a weird feeling I guess knowing that I may now never hear from her or about her again and the sense of realisation is kinda a weird feeling...

 

Anyways I just needed to let some stuff outta my system and I guess this is the only outlet I have...

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Don't worry. It is totally OK to feel the way you do. You're closing a chapter of your life. If you wouldn't feel a thing about it, it would be weird.

 

Bitterness is a poor companion in life. If you say goodbye to each other, make sure you show your best side. It is what she will remember and probably how you want to be remembered.

 

What happens after that you don't know! But you will for sure have a lot of things coming your way. New women, opportunities, experiences. Create new plans, execute crazy ideas and find new things and people that you will enjoy.

 

And...

 

..you can go to work, not distracted by the thought that she is around.

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I guess it finally closure...

 

TBH I have no bitterness towards her, I realised that we were both such different people and wanted such different things and I was finally accepting it... I was starting to see things differently - and things in my life are going well... I have started looking at going back to school and doing an MBA - been going out and meeting new people (not ready for a relationship) but just meeting new people, I am inte best shape that I have been since I was 13 - doing really well at work (I own part of the company that she works for but I rarely go there - I have another job and the business is a side line for me) and this is just weird...

 

But as you say I guess it's finally that closure and who knows what the future holds... I have always kept my composure in front of her during and after the break - I have been civil but I was honest with her when she wanted to "be friends" and told her that I couldn't do it... Other than that I have been civil and been normal whenever we have spoken cos of work, etc...

 

But hey that is life - people come and go in our lives and some stay and others just pass through and whatever her purpose was in my life she has now served it and it's time for both of us to move on to the next chapter...

 

I do wish her the best of luck and happiness in whatever she does...

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