AlwaysConflicted Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I haven't spoken to my ex in 2 months. I'm not sure we'll ever speak again as she doesn't seem to have any interest in me. I still have some of her stuff, nothing major. The biggest item I have are her skates. Should I just donate them to goodwill? Part of me wants to use it as a means to break our 2 months of NC, but I know it won't help. I feel bad throwing them away because what if she asks for them back? Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I haven't spoken to my ex in 2 months. I'm not sure we'll ever speak again as she doesn't seem to have any interest in me. I still have some of her stuff, nothing major. The biggest item I have are her skates. Should I just donate them to goodwill? Part of me wants to use it as a means to break our 2 months of NC, but I know it won't help. I feel bad throwing them away because what if she asks for them back? Any suggestions? Third party, mutual friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 We don't have any mutual friends. I'd send them through the mail, but it will be heavy and I don't want to incur the cost. She broke my heart so I'm not jumping at the bit to spend money on shipping her personal belongings. I guess there isn't really an answer and it probably doesn't matter what I do with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 If they are really worth donating then donate them otherwise trash them. If they left them they don't want want them and they are yours do do with as you would like. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I haven't spoken to my ex in 2 months. I'm not sure we'll ever speak again as she doesn't seem to have any interest in me. I still have some of her stuff, nothing major. The biggest item I have are her skates. Should I just donate them to goodwill? Part of me wants to use it as a means to break our 2 months of NC, but I know it won't help. I feel bad throwing them away because what if she asks for them back? Any suggestions? There is always ebay? just be careful she doesn't come back at you wanting them back later but I guess if she left them there that long she may not have a leg to stand on.. Link to post Share on other sites
sunrae Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Does she know you have them? If she does and hasnt gotten them from you in 2 months, consider them abandoned property and donate them if that's what you choose to do... But dont use them a colleteral I call or contact her. It will only cause you heartache in the end... Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 Does she know you have them? If she does and hasnt gotten them from you in 2 months, consider them abandoned property and donate them if that's what you choose to do... But dont use them a colleteral I call or contact her. It will only cause you heartache in the end... Trust me. She knows I have the little stuff, but I think she totally forgot about her skates. I'm guessing she'd want those back. Perosnally if I left my skates at an ex's house and I would chalk it up as a loss and go to the sports store and buy new ones. However, she's more of a "saver" to be polite. I don't really want to use them as collateral. At this point, I don't think anything could help or hurt. This is one relationship that is just 100 percent dead, although it pains me to say that. I consider myself to be a fairly nice person so I don't want to be in an awkward position if she comes asking for them and I've donated them. I can just imagine it: Her: Sorry to bother you, but can I get my skates from you? Me: Yeah, here's the thing...I didn't hear from you so I gave them away. Her: You gave away my skates? figures... ahole Me: Okay, well you take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 There are legal repercussions to throwing out someone's belongings. To cover yourself, send her a letter, itemize the things you have, and tell her if you don't hear from her within 30 days, you will be donating them. Seriously - if you just throw it out or toss it, she would whack you. Crazy, I know. Link to post Share on other sites
kickintheaz Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I don't really want to use them as collateral. At this point, I don't think anything could help or hurt. This is one relationship that is just 100 percent dead, although it pains me to say that. Her: Sorry to bother you, but can I get my skates from you? Me: Yeah, here's the thing...I didn't hear from you so I gave them away. Her: You gave away my skates? figures... ahole Me: Okay, well you take care. based on the former paragraph, does it matter if the latter one happens? if its dead and you can recognise that, get rid of them.... no need to hang on to old memories... unless you have tiny feet and are planning on taking up skating?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 based on the former paragraph, does it matter if the latter one happens? Well it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of life, however I'd like to take the higher road. I'll donate them to charity. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Box them up and store them away to be forgotten, unless she contacts you. If she does eventually contact you to get them back, tell her you're going to put them outside your door at X time and date, so she'd better get her arse in gear to pick them up or they will be taken by some passerby. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 There are legal repercussions to throwing out someone's belongings. To cover yourself, send her a letter, itemize the things you have, and tell her if you don't hear from her within 30 days, you will be donating them. Seriously - if you just throw it out or toss it, she would whack you. Crazy, I know. Yea I sort of agree with Jilly here store them in a closet give her notice with a cirtin amount of time keep a copy for yourself of course if she shows up good if not after the allotted time donate them ide cover myself especially if it was a nasty breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
sunrae Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 If you do send her a notification letter, send it with confirmation delivery, otherwise she can always say she never got it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 He said the biggest item was her skates... We aren't talking about brain surgery here... If the stuff is really not worth anything then throw it out.. I would use 100 bucks as a rule.. if the stuff isn't worth her time and effort to keep track of and find then too bad for her. Don't use this to break NC.. If you must GIVE them back to her even though she hasn't asked for them back then go thru a 3rd party or just MAIL the box to her..and for gawds sake just don't hang on to that stuff so you can contact her.. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 There are legal repercussions to throwing out someone's belongings. To cover yourself, send her a letter, itemize the things you have, and tell her if you don't hear from her within 30 days, you will be donating them. Seriously - if you just throw it out or toss it, she would whack you. Crazy, I know. QFT. Disposing of another person's property without notification or advice, is tantamount to malicious damage. if you know where her family lives, and it's not too far, you can either drop the stuff off at their place, or send them a registered letter detailing that you have these items. make sure you explain how long they have been there. Tell them that if the items are not picked up within 10 days from receipt of that letter, (that's long enough, look how long they've already been there) or you receive no written response, then you will consider the items are no longer required and you will dispose of them as you see fit. Cover yourself. but do it properly. Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 Why not just drop it off at her house when you know no one will be home. That way you don't have to see her and you don't have to worry about her belongings from that point on. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I haven't spoken to my ex in 2 months. I'm not sure we'll ever speak again as she doesn't seem to have any interest in me. I still have some of her stuff, nothing major. The biggest item I have are her skates. Should I just donate them to goodwill? Part of me wants to use it as a means to break our 2 months of NC, but I know it won't help. I feel bad throwing them away because what if she asks for them back? Any suggestions? Ahh the temptation to break NC - i found a sock of hers in my sock and hey that to me was a valid reason - but wait for it i kept strong - am almost through day 9 and going stronger... i say stick em in a box and put them in the attick.... dont break NC as tempting as it maybe.... We are bigger than that, we are better than that, we are the champiions.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted July 22, 2010 Author Share Posted July 22, 2010 Why not just drop it off at her house when you know no one will be home. That way you don't have to see her and you don't have to worry about her belongings from that point on. I've thought about that, but it's a bit stalkerish. She'll be thinking "he was literally standing on my door step today" I don't think donating a few items to goodwill is malicious because she's had 2 months to ask for them back. I can hang on to them for another month or so. smk: lol, I doubt your ex is missing her sock. I'm sure my ex will want her skates since it's summertime and she loves to skate along the beach. Oy, I thought I was done with her until I opened my car trunk and found that stuff. I guess I could email her sister to pick them up but I don't really want to open this can of worms. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Share Posted July 22, 2010 I've thought about that, but it's a bit stalkerish. She'll be thinking "he was literally standing on my door step today" I don't think donating a few items to goodwill is malacious because she's had 2 months to ask for them back. I can hang on to them for another month or so. smk: lol, I doubt your ex is missing her sock. I'm sure my ex will want her skates since it's summertime and she loves to skate along the beach. Oy, I thought I was done with her until I opened my car trunk and found that stuff. I guess I could email her sister to pick them up but I don't really want to open this can of worms. who know the sock may have sentimental value - LOL -...... dont do it - put the stuff in a box and stick it in your basement, attic, wherever you dont see it or have to deal with it.... not worth breaking NC... and if she really missed her skates she would have come back for them... Link to post Share on other sites
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