The Pain of It All...

[kelsmommy]

My court date with my husband over custody and support is on Thursday. He never bothered to turn in the documents required of him on the date the court ordered him to. The general consensus is that he might not even show. I've been accepting that the relationship is over, and that I need to mend my heart and be strong for myself and my son.

 

But I've had a terrible feeling lately.

 

My husband is not the type to just let things be. He's a man who reacts when backed into a corner. This is how it's been during our relationship. When I told him how unhappy I was, and I told him that unless things change, I would have to end it, and then I did, then he would react and never leave me alone. He called me with an airgun to his head a few days after he found out I was with someone else I really liked. Even now he dumped me, and filed access papers in court, but backed off when he got my custody and child/spousal support papers. He isn't seeing the bigger picture now, he's always had that problem.

 

So now, I'm really on edge. I would not put it past him that when all this court stuff goes down, especially if he doesn't show, that he'll come roaring back, trying to beg for forgiveness. This will really be the case once I have moved on with someone else. I can already tell he's trying to keep my on a short leash and I've already told him where to stuff it. I have been telling myself this lately because this is his pattern - I've had a lot of time to think - and while I'm trying to believe with tears and sadness that this is the end of it all, I have a strong feeling this will happen.

 

Am I crazy? Do you think it's wishful thinking? Honestly, I think it's a strong possibility, I'm just very afraid I won't be strong enough to endure it all and give him the big "eff you".

[bonpaw2008]

Take care of your son, make sure that he is ok and that will help you cope.

 

Distraction, and knowing that you are doing the right thing for you and your son is the thing to focus on. I hated my divorce, what it did to the kids, etc. but we are all getting through it and I think we are all better off because of it.

 

Of course I am not better off because I fell into an addictive relationship with a commitment-phobic man that makes me crazy. I have never had this little self-esteem I am pretty sure it is because of the guilt I feel about the divorce.

 

I wish you luck and best wishes, this is a trying time but it will be over soon and you can move forward.

 

 

b-