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"The definition of insanity is...


ALombard

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...doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

 

So as you all probably know I went through a very interesting few days. Completely my fault too, which in turn makes me feel like a complete dumbass. Especially due to the fact that I am on this site trying to help other with their heartbreaks, doubts, etc. and I go against my own advice.

 

I was actually very close to sending an e-mail to my ex that contained one of those, "I know we are both moving on right now, but I still love you and if and when the time is right I want to be with you forever." That was basically the subject of the letter, there were more details but I'm not going to get into that.

 

To say the least I didn't send the letter. I typed it, poured out my heart and then that was it. I realized sending that letter I was doing a few things. I was giving away and dignity I had left. I was betraying my girlfriend. I was letting myself be swept up by my ex again. I couldn't do it not out of pride but mainly because of the above quote.

 

I look back on the relationship I had with my ex and realize that, as with all relationships, we had our good times and our bad times. The difference however is that after the first 2 years something happened to where we were constantly "working on things" and she was constantly cheating on me and lying to me about it.

 

I have a great thing going right now, I have a great career, a nice place, a great girl, and I'm just generally a lot happier. There's still that hole in my heart because of my ex but I know that it will be filled again. The only thing that is scaring me right now is that I still think/believe that my ex and I are meant to be together, "soulmates" I guess, and that the only thing that really tore us up was just the timing or something I don't know. I need to get that thought of my head.

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...There's still that hole in my heart because of my ex but I know that it will be filled again.

 

Beware, if you use your new girlfriend to fill this hole you'll be doing exactly that--using her.

 

Fill that hole with yourself and become whole again. Only then can you truly love another.

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LoveTruthChaos

Fill that hole with yourself and become whole again. Only then can you truly love another.

:love::love::love:

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I completely agree with you spriggig. Truth be told the past 2 or 3 days were really odd to say the least. I was re-reading my posts and they don't even have the usual structure of writing I use in them, they are just jumbled.

 

I am fine now. Calm, relaxed, and rejuvinated. I confessed everything to my girlfriend, she was obviously taken aback but surprisingly very understanding. I don't know how she does it. I have to say that the way she handled everything really made me realize how truely amazing and wonderful she is.

 

So yeah, I'm now officially done with my ex. I cannot and will not ruin a good relationship with an amazing girl by talking to a girl who lied to me, cheated on me, and still had the nerve in the end to tell me everything was my fault.

 

Thank you, all of you for sticking by me during my episode.

 

Much love.

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