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how do u get over someone u have obsessed over for years


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HI

 

I'll try to keep this short.

 

I don't get out much at all, have few friends left in my city, basically am a loner.

But for the last 18 months I have chatted to a girl online, phone, text, met about 5 times (nothing sexual happened).

 

She is always on my mind, and is the only person I can really call a friend, even though I’m sure she don't see me as such a high ranked friend to her than I do to me. We've had periods where we have chatted by some method for hours and hours on end, almost everyday for weeks and weeks. But lately things have cooled off a little her end.

 

Now almost everything I see in my everyday life, everything I do reminds me of a conversation I had with her.

 

 

 

So I know nothing will happen but how do you get over something like this?

 

I know people will say NC is the way to go. But she is perhaps the only meaningful contact I have in my life. I don’t know if she sees me as a real good friend or just someone she chats to when bored.If she sees me as a good friend I don't want to walk way from her.

 

 

Also, is it possible to meet someone else and have the same connection when you think it will never happen. I can't see myself meeting anyone who makes me laugh like she does etc.

 

 

 

Thanks :)

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I was/am very much in the same situation you are, except that I obsessed over the woman for years. To answer the first question, NC is the way to go for "getting over" the impressions of this person.

 

As to the 2nd part, and whether anyone else will have the exact same effect, no two people are exactly the same so I dont know if you can get the same experience. However, that isn't to say that you can't find something just as good, if not even better.

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Being interested in someone you met online 18 months ago and have only met in person a few times is not obsessing over someone "for years." I've been torn up over my current ex since '07, and it took me 12 years to get over my first love. If you reach that point, then it might be time to worry!!

 

It sounds like it doesn't even have anything to do with her -- you're just lonely and need a friend. This is all about getting out and discovering who you are, and attempting to meet some other human beings. You can do it!!

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