do ex girl dumpers ever feel guilty?

[bittersweetcupid]

just wondering if any of the exes especially girls ever do come back! do feel free to share any pass experiences

[USMCHokie]

Male dumpers are much more likely to come back than female dumpers. Three reasons:

 

(1) Females generally check out of the relationship before the breakup actually occurs and are less likely to carry any feelings beyond the break.

 

(2) Females tend to have a better support network of friends and family.

 

(3) Females usually have an easier time finding male attention to fill the void from the breakup.

[Els]

Sadly, I agree with the above post, especially #1.

[nowomanocry]

Male dumpers are much more likely to come back than female dumpers. Three reasons:

 

(1) Females generally check out of the relationship before the breakup actually occurs and are less likely to carry any feelings beyond the break.

 

(2) Females tend to have a better support network of friends and family.

 

(3) Females usually have an easier time finding male attention to fill the void from the breakup.

 

Can't agree more.

 

Let me fill the blanks for US ...

 

1) Males generally get dumped when not expecting it to the least and they get upset and try to win her back because they chase what they willl never ever get like a donkey chasing an ever illusive carrot

 

2) Males have pride they can never admit theyve been dumped and keep all the real story to themselves and drink all night and pass out on the couch

 

3) Males in general, can't deal with the breakup. After being dumped, they never have a B plan so they panic and start chasing women in which most of the cases don't get anything. It is like dribbling in a swamp and sinking deeper and deeper the more you move... They start to loose their self-esteem while their ex's have a real good time with their new boy friend and their reserve players they have in their hands. The chances of a single dumped male finding a girl is less than winning the national lottery because women usually are not interested in single men. Women do not like loosers too. Dumped men look pathetic and in fact yes, they are. It's too late for them. For their ex's they have lost their money, job, life and most of all their high self -esteem.

[sedgwick]

I'm female, and I broke up with someone once and went back. Ultimately we broke up again, but the big issue with us was geographical distance. We're still quite good friends.

 

The guy who walked out on me three years ago, however, has not come back.

 

The chances of a single dumped male finding a girl is less than winning the national lottery because women usually are not interested in single men.

 

Huh?! I've been interested in single guys plenty of times! Certainly I'm far more interested in the single ones than the taken ones! And every one of those guys who has become my boyfriend has been dumped at some time in his life prior to meeting me. However, I've never met anyone who's won the lottery! I'm thinking your perception may be just a teensy bit skewed here...

Edited May 25, 2010 by sedgwick

[just1guy]

I'm sure they do feel guilt...they are human. Unfortuantely, as everyone already said, they've already checked out long before the breakup.

 

I've never had any come back after a breakup. They've all moved on immediately to their next guy. One became pregnant with her new guy and stayed with him, and my most recent is still with her new guy.

[Perhaps]

Yes and No. Generally speaking, girls are less likely to but I've seen some come back.

 

It shouldn't matter to you whether an ex feels guilt/regret. Love and respect yourself enough to understand that your time is better spent achieving your goals than worrying about how your ex feels at the moment - believe me, it gets you nowhere.

[skydiveaddict]

Male dumpers are much more likely to come back than female dumpers. Three reasons:

 

(1) Females generally check out of the relationship before the breakup actually occurs and are less likely to carry any feelings beyond the break.

 

(2) Females tend to have a better support network of friends and family.

 

(3) Females usually have an easier time finding male attention to fill the void from the breakup.

 

 

Well that stole my thunder

[sedgwick]

 

(1) Females generally check out of the relationship before the breakup actually occurs and are less likely to carry any feelings beyond the break.

 

(2) Females tend to have a better support network of friends and family.

 

(3) Females usually have an easier time finding male attention to fill the void from the breakup.

 

In my experience:

 

1. I have been the dumper three times in my life. The first was as a teenager, so I wasn't mature enough to think much beyond it. The second was my husband, and though we mutually agreed it wasn't working, I was the one to end it, and it was torture. I agonized for two years. Finally we ended the marriage to save the friendship, and I'm proud to say we're still best friends ten years later. The third was after three years in an LDR that was never going to change; we both had lives in our cities. I will admit it was also partly because I met someone in my city, but that fizzled fast, I realized I loved the LDR guy, and we gave it another shot. About six months later the distance became too much to bear and we broke up for good. When he found another gf, I cried for days. We're still friends too, though there's always a pang of regret on my part whenever we talk. He was definitely the best guy I was ever with, and I often wonder if I made a mistake in breaking up. But the fact of the matter is I could never spend a lifetime in a LDR.

 

Did I "check out" of those relationships? To varying degrees, at varying times. I'll admit I did fall out of romantic love with my husband due to his horrible untreated anxiety and depression issues. He was so agoraphobic we never went out, and this went on for years -- I was in my 20s, and because of his depression I was also living without sex. On the one hand, yes, I was "checked out" of the relationship and finding myself attracted to other people. On the other, I love him deeply and can't imagine my life without him, to this day. So the "checking out" thing is far more complicated than it might seem.

 

2. With my most recent ex (he dumped me), he sees his family once every couple of months, and I see mine once every couple of years. I would say we have equal amounts of close friends. He sees his more often because he's a musician and plays with many of them, whereas I'm a writer and spend most of my time alone at my desk.

 

3. Haven't had a single date or been flirted with at all in the three years since he left me. Again, he's a musician, I'm quite sure he's found plenty of female attention.

 

I just need to be a voice of dissent when men start saying this stuff about women on here.

[USMCHokie]

I just need to be a voice of dissent when men start saying this stuff about women on here.

 

And I'm glad you brought your dissent to the thread. I try to avoid making absolute statements on LS, especially regarding women and what I perceive them to think...so you'll notice that I use very vague and broad terms (e.g., 'generally,' 'tend to,' and 'usually')...there will always be counterexamples to every viewpoint and it was not my intention to make an absolute blanket statement regarding all women...they are just collective observations from my own life experience and from being on LS too damn much...

 

But yea, there are female dumpers that do come back...sometimes I just wish mine would...

[sedgwick]

so you'll notice that I use very vague and broad terms (e.g., 'generally,' 'tend to,' and 'usually')...there will always be counterexamples to every viewpoint and it was not my intention to make an absolute blanket statement regarding all women

 

I know it wasn't. Believe me, I have to fight hard not to make blanket statements about men!!!

[Heatemyheart89]

Ive never actually felt guilty for dumping someone(although im usually the one who gets dumped:() The reason is I know its been for the the best. And i have never looked back.

[McGrupp]

Can't agree more.

 

Let me fill the blanks for US ...

 

1) Males generally get dumped when not expecting it to the least and they get upset and try to win her back because they chase what they willl never ever get like a donkey chasing an ever illusive carrot

 

2) Males have pride they can never admit theyve been dumped and keep all the real story to themselves and drink all night and pass out on the couch

 

3) Males in general, can't deal with the breakup. After being dumped, they never have a B plan so they panic and start chasing women in which most of the cases don't get anything. It is like dribbling in a swamp and sinking deeper and deeper the more you move... They start to loose their self-esteem while their ex's have a real good time with their new boy friend and their reserve players they have in their hands. The chances of a single dumped male finding a girl is less than winning the national lottery because women usually are not interested in single men. Women do not like loosers too. Dumped men look pathetic and in fact yes, they are. It's too late for them. For their ex's they have lost their money, job, life and most of all their high self -esteem.

 

i would tend to agree with most of this....but in MY experience, after the initial depression, mopiness and lack of self esteem you can pick yourself up. for me it took about 5 months...now its been 8 since the breakup, ive gotten a raise, am dating 2 beautiful women at my disgression and having fun in life...jesus christ u act like its a death sentence being dumped!

 

just go out and be that person you were when your ex met you or whatever. stop caring about her, what she is doing, who she is with, what you shouldve or shouldntve said...

 

your ex wasnt everything, and i know mine will contact me sometime or maybe not ever...and thats cool.

 

just keep it moving hombres

[bittersweetcupid]

although ive broken up with my ex for a long tie. foolish me still hope for a miracle that she realise how much i love her and come back to me.well. im just silly but i love her

[feelinggood]

i dumped my bf for better future but he got a new girl after 3 days of breaking up. i asked him to come back he rejected. im like bittersweetcupid, still hoping for miracle that he will come back..im silly i know..i miss him like hell!!