yes Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 This is more of a rant, but comments are very welcome. My mind keeps on going back to an ex of mine - and I think i finally understand - it's so obvious, it's maddening. I freaked him out by requesting a "talk" ... he said " we should talk ", but was always putting it off, and i wish i'd just gone with it, but i pushed for the talk, and so several days later he broke up w/ me b/c he met some gal and was curious about her. Now i'm thinking- if not for the talk, he wouldn't tell me about the gal, and very likely stay with me - he did really like me, breaking up didn't quite make sense - but now i see that it's pure fear (no - panic) of committment. I regret it because even though i likely wdn't stay with him long-term, i could've had some months of great fun. *mad at myself* *very mad at myself* I guess i didn't realize fully that i wasn't (still am not) ready to committ myself... god, why did i push for it. But... the temptation now is to get back to speaking terms (i've been refusing to have anything to do with him since the break-up), and have that fun i missed out on. Please tell me why i shouldn't do this...? thanks for reading. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 why shouldn't you do this? 1. he's got a girlfriend/is steadily dating someone 2. you have a boyfriend/are steadily dating someone if neither of these are the case, and you guys are still attracted to each other -- even for just a short-term relationship -- honey, go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 I don't know if he's attached... i'm not attached. I know we'll be attracted. I guess i could find out if he's attached... I just feel soo stupid for mishandling him like that. Because of the break-up i didn't perform in a show - i RLLY wanted to do it with him - i was all in tears about it several times. ARG at myself... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 the worst that you'll find is that he's attached or he still thinks you want a commitment. Can't do much about the first scenario, but you CAN let him know that you've thought about it, and that you're content to just be with him, no strings attached, and will just let the relationship develop as it does. life is too short for regrets, so put the past behind you and go full steam ahead -- you might be pleasantly surprised! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 You have no idea how excited i am just thinking of getting back together - i can barely sit still. I will find out if he's attached/in town soon... cuz if either of these, question solved. One other thing is that my parents will think i'm a total idiot if i get back together with him - b/c the history is that we were together for 2 months once, then he went on a trip and sort of forgot about me. It re-started maybe 4 months later, and lasted a month or so - until my stupid "talk". So folks feel like he's just jerking me around; they also think i was in love with him - but i doubt it, i was still sleeping with someone while we were back together for the month. I also don't think he's LTR material, but i want to date him until i get disappointed, do you know what i mean? It's happened before with someone else - i went out with him, even though my mind said Don't - and one day, i FELT that no, this is silly, and i broke up. I guess that's what i'd like to happen with this guy as well. Anyway - thanks for your replies... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 don't worry so much about what your folks will think -- it's all a part of dating (i.e., getting it out of your system before you settle down)! Can't really be jerked around if there's not a serious intention, I think Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 i spoke to a common friend... he's in town. as for being attached - i asked my friend if it worked out between him (the guy) and that girl he met (after which he broke up with me)... and he said "ask (name) ;)" ... what the hell's this supposed to mean?! I doubt he'd tell me to ask him if he knew he was attached... or it is just wishful thinking? thanks so much for your quick replies... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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