mara Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 I've been married for 12 years. We are a young couple, have 3 girls. My husband has been a really good man. He's always been dedicated to us, in other words he's been perfect. Lately he asks me if I believed that one person could be in-love with two at the same time....to make the story short he ends up telling me that he is feeling something weard for a coworker ....he gets nervous when he sees her, and does not know what to say around her. He tells me that he feels he knows her from long ago but they have not really talked and knows not much about her. He tells me this "because he needs help" from me! what?.......I was not upset but understandable I always thought that when you love someone you have to let the person go if happiness is somewhere else.....but then he says that he loves me that he just wanted to share that with me to feel better , that he has not done anything ...not even a cup of coffee? but that he has felt the temptation. Then he goes on saying that the respect and loyalty that he feels for me is so big that has not let him do anything wrong....... You never end up knowing someone completely, but after a few years you do know when your husband carries a war inside. He has not changed at home, our intimacy is the same but he must be feeling something really different that troubles him if he was able to tell me about it. What is this? maybe is the start of our end ...... Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 He has not changed at home, our intimacy is the same but he must be feeling something really different that troubles him if he was able to tell me about it. What is this? maybe is the start of our end ...... IMO everyone gets crushes on someone else even when married. Acting on it is what makes the difference between a crush and an affair. Perhaps the fact that he told you is something to consider as a good sign. He does not want to cheat and by telling you, he feels he can stem off an affair. By making his feelings public to you, he has put up a barrier to moving into an affair...assuming she has similar feelings. Many people keep such feelings a secret and then cannot control those feelings later. I would have to say that thus far, he has done the best thing. I think you may want to draw closer to him rather than let this revelation push you away. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 Personally, I think he did the honorable thing in talking to you about it. It shows he really does love you and wants to maintain a relationship with you. Being attracted to others is natural; after all, we're human. But you can choose to be respectful toward your partner and discuss it, or you can go behind her back and cheat. The best thing you can do is not to even bring it up again, but to show him you're confident in yourself and all the wonderful things about you. Remind him through your actions that you're still the amazing woman he fell in love with! Link to post Share on other sites
tigereyes1428 Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 gosh thats a hard one. but i believe the othere who replied saying to you that he must love and respect you very much to be so honest - you should cherish what you have together most people never get near that in their relationships Link to post Share on other sites
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