Jump to content

I want to be friendly...


teanoranges

Recommended Posts

I want to be his friend again, and not best friend or lover or anything like that..

but I really hate not liking him as a person. I don't like avoiding him and pretending he doesn't exist. I just want it to be mutually okay.

 

I know I can't and I probably shouldn't... everyone knows how much I tried and my feelings got to me... I can't do that again, to me or to him... its too much crap.

 

I wouldn't know how to do it anyways....

*sigh*

Link to post
Share on other sites

rule number one.

 

never be friends with an ex. unless you have both healed 100% and truly have moved on.

 

if your thinking ill be there so he can see im a better person and well get back together then you cant be friends.

 

can you stand there watchng them kiss another person?

 

could you bear the fort they would then get intimate when they went home?

 

its difficult we all know but you need to let go. its normal for you to miss them but get out and enjoy your life! look after yourself!

get to the gym. meet old friends

 

THERE IS SOMEONE BETTER WAITING TO FIND YOU!!!

 

its just a matter of time! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Accept that he fell in love with someone else and no longer has any emotional attachment to you. If you can accept that, and move on yourself, then you have a foundation for a friendship based on mutual support and interests, if such exist.

 

The next few months of NC will be the most difficult, if my experience is any guide.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Dark_of_the_Moon

I would give advice against the attempt. Why? Because I tried it, and it put me right back at square one.

 

Maybe you are stronger than I and I know many people are. I dont hate my ex, which is I guess part of the problem. I missed him and thought I was over him, thought that I could just talk to him occationally and be fine with that. No.

 

It broke open all the old wounds. I was raised to be nice and a lady, so I did nothing to outward show what was building inside me, but lets just say the pain was unbearable for me. I dont know how it is done to be friends with an ex or how to totally be free of all emotions regarding them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I assure you, I have no intention of sticking around him as some kind of scheme to get him back. In fact, I wouldn't even want to talk to him often.

 

I have a personality where I really love my friends and I hate it when even one goes away... it makes me feel funny.

But I'm also logical, and I am starting my life... have been starting my life..

we broke up about 8 months ago and even then I was on the prowl for bettering myself at life... I've never stopped... I wouldn't allow something that petty to hold me back. We all go through those waves and we all get over it.

I've been nc with him for about 3 months and those angry feelings, that 'missing heartache' is certainly gone.

since the break up, I've participated in 2 long term projects where I believe is really going to help my future..

 

Trouble is just that he was a great guy, and honestly the break up was a very soft one compared to sooo many people.. and in this life, is there really a reason to hold a grudge on someone because they fall out of love with you?

 

Just giving you that background info because I don't want you to think I'm some overdramatic chick, sitting down eating a pint of ice cream and crying all day.... hahaha!! (I apologize if you are.)

 

Its just one of those feelings you got to get out, and I appreciate all the support.

I will not be contacting him.. its just not the right time and I know that too. Figured I'd reach out to people who feel the same.

 

Alot of my guy friends are friends that had once had feeling for me (or the other way) and we have worked past it. Now, they are some of my better friends.. I'd hate to think I'm missing an opportunity for a good friend...

 

 

 

but of course... it might still come LATER. or I could lose all interest.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I would give advice against the attempt. Why? Because I tried it, and it put me right back at square one.

 

Maybe you are stronger than I and I know many people are. I dont hate my ex, which is I guess part of the problem. I missed him and thought I was over him, thought that I could just talk to him occationally and be fine with that. No.

 

It broke open all the old wounds. I was raised to be nice and a lady, so I did nothing to outward show what was building inside me, but lets just say the pain was unbearable for me. I dont know how it is done to be friends with an ex or how to totally be free of all emotions regarding them.

 

what happened between you after it all built? Did you blow up at him or just disappear?

Its tough, but I have dealt with unrequited feelings with others so that's what makes me believe I can do it again with him... but sometimes you have to wait until the right moment I guess... and right now there's too much going on in my life that I'm personally not ready.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Dark_of_the_Moon

Im like you, I think friendships are the most treasured things in the world and I know no one like my ex, which is one reason I miss his friendship so much.

 

It just was very hard for me, I ended up crying again, missing what we were, knowing about his GF was painful to me, sent me back onto depression again...so I understood I was not strong enough, not worldly enough to be around him and feel nothing.

 

Like you I have managed to remain friends with other people who I had feelings for or who at one time had feelings for me. But, this ONE guy is different for me, and I dont understand why he is. What about him I need so badly? I do not know.

 

Anyway, to answer you, I politely emailed him and told him it hurt me too much and to please leave me be. Then I blocked him again, because he is like my drug of choice or drink, I can not trust myself to resist him when he comes around so he cant be allowed to speak to me. Though I want it more than life itself.

Link to post
Share on other sites

26 years on i still meet my ex boyfreind occasionally in the street. i am doing the sums and i feel flippin old!!!! hahaha (i am 39) anyhoo, i still like him and respect him.

 

it will always have a pang. but if you are over it you will see triger happiness and be pleased for them. its life. I alway say hello and have a chat and always leave thinking im so pleased it was him that took my cherry he was a really lovely man.

 

 

well hee hee not actually what i ment n=by saying that apart from yes in time you might be fine

 

nobbyxxxxx

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...