lych Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 so me and my boyfriend (now ex) broke up about 3 weeks ago, started NC since 8 days ago. i'm sad..kinda depressed. but i don't cry. i mean, this is our 2nd time breaking up. the first time, i was over depressed..i cried everyday for a month and we were broken up (with no contact and everything) for 4 months. and this time, i'm not crying. i mean, im as sad as our first time breaking up..but just..NO TEARS come out. at all. is this cause it hasn't hit me yet? i just wanna grieve properly and move on but i just don't cry. as much as i wanna let it all out, no tear will come out. since i'm not crying, will this just mess up the whole grieving process? what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
DenverBachelor Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 I think you should clear your mind and go about your next few weeks / months as if he doesn't exist and focus on yourself. Did you break up with him? Does anything make you cry lately? A commercial? A tough soap-opera? Movie? Maybe you're more over him than you realize. I don't think you need to shed tears to cry. I've only cried five times in my life -- two of them in front of my ex. Not sure why I am sharing this. Anyhow ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lych Posted February 9, 2010 Author Share Posted February 9, 2010 it was kind of a weird break up. he said he "didn't know" if he still wanted to be with me or not so i took that as breaking up. i still feel the same sadness..but without tears. i don't think i'm over him..cause i still feel the same way for him as i did since the first time i fell for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 since i'm not crying, will this just mess up the whole grieving process? Not necessarily, no. You could keep in mind that the way your psyche is doing it, is perfect for where you are right now. Possibly it's a delayed reaction...and you'll end up crying buckets in a week or a month. Or it could be that, somewhere in your subconscious, you have a very strong sense that the break-up is best for your own long-term growth and development -- there is sadness about the ending, yes, but it doesn't feel all devastating cos there is that part of you that knows you have the power/strength to recover and thrive. Are you doing other 'emotional release work'? Journaling, gardening, physical activity of some sort, art/drawing? Screaming into a pillow...or beating up on it? There are different ways of getting rid of sad feelings than just crying. Sorry about your break-up. Hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
Oh Moe Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 it was kind of a weird break up. he said he "didn't know" if he still wanted to be with me or not so i took that as breaking up. i still feel the same sadness..but without tears. i don't think i'm over him..cause i still feel the same way for him as i did since the first time i fell for him. I think it's harder to get over someone when things were good. Just up and over as in my case. She once said I'm through with you, another time I'm done with you. Yet she still contacts me even after I asked her not to more then once. Because of this particular women and the way it ended and her past I was used very badly. I'm unable to care any longer, to cry basically give a ****. How someone can use people like she did for 3 years, she and her kids are headed down the path of destruction and I will watch with sadness. Her kids still love me and want me more then her, that should make one shed a tear but I just can't when I see them crying for me. Link to post Share on other sites
counterman Posted February 9, 2010 Share Posted February 9, 2010 Not being able to cry does not mean you are not grieving properly and it will not hold back the process as well. If you are feeling the hurt and sadness, then you are grieving. Just move on as usual and focus on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts