Catseye8 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 The short version: I went NC, despite his varied and clingy wishes to the contrary. (He's said he wants to talk about the relationship soon, when he's worked through some of his therapy-warranting Issues a bit better; I said fine, I'd be happy to have that conversation, but I wasn't interested in being his penpal in the meantime.) And now I am miserable, tonight. And I miss him like crazy. And I just so, so wish he was here in person, so I could hug him and cry. Even though all the contact from him was suffocating and frustrating me, at least seeing his name pop up on my phone or my inbox multiple times a day reminded me that he was thinking about me, that he missed me, that this little bit of the relationship was still going, and so on, and so on. And now, because I came down hard with the mighty boot of NC and he is finally respecting my wishes there, I don't have that either. It is haaaaaaaaaaaard, LS. It has particularly sucked over the past few days. Yesterday I was curled up crying again for the first time in weeks. So, er... cheer me up? Pass the vodka? Remind me why going NC won't make him forget about me? (I know, that's not the point of NC, but own up - we've all been here.) Anyone got any really bad jokes? Mantras to recite? Tricks to get my mind off it? Anything? I am so, so unhappy tonight. *puts on the pity party hat* Link to post Share on other sites
sean1 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 it is hard! but the onlyway to feel better is to believe in yourself at the end of it all! you need to get out with m8s go for a run exercise and keep busy! you went on no contact to avoid him and have space. you really think hes sat there happy as larry?is he heck. hesprobably feeling the same way you do. just he wants you to make the first move. let him give in and eventually you can have your talk. examine the motives though. do youwant tomake things work or are you just in the emotionalstate ofmind of rejection causes obsession? your afraid to move on because theres nobody like him? thats wrong! theres better! and you deserve it! and for a bad joke....what is E.Tshort for?....because he has little legs! good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
gavinus Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 NC is about healing and growing for you both. Be strong, you can do it!! Feelings cycle and how would you feel if you did break NC and you were rejected? silence says so much Link to post Share on other sites
Author Catseye8 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 Aww, Sean, you rock. Thank you. And that's totally my kind of bad joke there! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Catseye8 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 (edited) Be strong, you can do it!! Thank you! I'm trying to remind myself that for all he knows, I'm out partying it up with a team of male models tonight... he has no idea that I'm sitting here sobbing into the sofa cushions! (er, unless he's reading this, in which case, I am totally not sobbing into the sofa cushions, not at all. To the dance floor, Javier!) Edited February 7, 2010 by Catseye8 Link to post Share on other sites
sean1 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 for all he knows, I'm out partying it up with a team of male models tonight... he has no idea that I'm sitting here sobbing into the sofa cushions! so why arent you? remember your single again now? go out and have fun. i can gurantee he will get word of what your doing. 100% proof. and if he sees you have ben out with a large group of m8s ladies and gents. he will be on the phone before you can even get home! remember when he texts unless he is practically beggin you to comeback to him. or that he is truly sorry and wants to be with you its no contact!!! dont fallfor the..i miss you..i love you still...these are just to make you react! he has to be serious! you need to control! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Catseye8 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 so why arent you? remember your single again now? go out and have fun. i can gurantee he will get word of what your doing. 100% proof. I have sofa cushions to sob into Seriously though, I do have plans for going out with some excellent friends this week, and I am very grateful to have the kind of friends who cut me some slack for being miserable company some of the night. Still, means I get to put the dancing shoes to good use! Link to post Share on other sites
sean1 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I have sofa cushions to sob into Seriously though, I do have plans for going out with some excellent friends this week, and I am very grateful to have the kind of friends who cut me some slack for being miserable company some of the night. Still, means I get to put the dancing shoes to good use! i used her pillows that shed left hear! haha all snotty n wet!! its gud that u can get out!! the one rule tho...DONT TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP!! just get on with things. get out and have a bloody good time! bet you have so many guys looking at you when your out! all of which will thinkdam i wish i had her in my life! think wot ure ex is frowing away! its his loss!! Link to post Share on other sites
phoenix1 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Hey Catseye, sorry you're feeling so bad today. Is it in the air? Because for some reason today too, I just kinda lost it and broke down crying like I haven't in awhile. I too, was the one that went NC. And mostly I am glad, it is sometimes easier to not have him be a constant part of my life, even though I miss him at times. But I can completley relate to seeing his name pop up on your phone etc. Somehow when we were doing the LC, or friends or whatever combination we have done before, I felt like getting my little "fix" eased the pain. Now I never see his name come up on my phone...and I wish I would...kinda. But the truth is, that's all it was - a temporary fix. I felt like it was my crutch to have limited contact with him. The reality is, is that it probably prolonged things, and maybe I would be more moved on if I hadn't drawen it out so much. Remember, I am dealing with a CP too, and like people on here have said, if he really wants to come back, he will. But as a veteran on two break ups with mine..just because he wants to come back, misses you, loves you etc doesn't mean that it's a good idea to get back together. There is so much more involved. And as I sit through this horrible, sad, ****ty day, I have to remember, I have been feeling a little bit better, and will again. And beleive me, I am so wrecked by this break up, that if I can stay no NC, and keep moving forward, anybody can! Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Catseye8 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Share Posted February 8, 2010 Thank you, Phoenix. Yes, I think there definitely must be something in the air; I've been doing really, really well, and then these past few days have just hit me like a brick for some reason. Gah, truly, it sucks. I don't know if mine's ever going to get his act together, or whether he'll ever even try to come back. He does truly seem to want to sort his head out, and he does miss me, and oh, Lord, the clinging (even in our last conversation, when he actually told me I should just forget him and he'd never contact me again, he was back to telling me how much he wished he could be here to hug me about a tough time I'm going through fifteen minutes later - wtf?) - but it's been two months, and he's still not back. I've been through bad breakups before. I've been through confusing breakups before. I've been through one breakup with a man who stalked me and threatened suicide afterwards. And a breakup with a CP is still the biggest mindf*ck I have ever experienced. They wreck you. Whatever happens, I know I'll be fine in the future; I'll get over this and I'll be okay. But it's good to be reminded of that sometimes, when it hurts like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Serena2009 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Hey Catseye, You HANG in there girl and stay strong!! You know what you need to do, stay NC until he's demonstrating he's making significant changes through action. Don't settle for less!! Look at Georgia Girl, she is the only one I've heard of that has had success in a relationship with a CP and she was VERY firm with her boundaries and VERY strong and that's what it takes, otherwise, it just doesn't work!! A breakup with a CP truly IS the biggest mf!! They're telling you how strong their feelings are for you AS they're breaking away . . . like yours saying, "I miss you terribly" . . . it's SO bass ackwards!! During the last conversation with my CP ex-bf where he gave me his recycled version of his original "gut feeling" breakup speech right in the middle of it he blurts out with emotion in the context of nothing he was saying, "I will always love you and I will always care about you," words that I almost NEVER heard during the relationship except during breakup round 1!! Baaaaaaasssssss Ackwards!!!!!!!!!!!! You stay strong!! The feelings ebb and flow and you'll get stronger every day. Enjoy your time with your friends! I'll be in touch! Link to post Share on other sites
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