WhereDoesTheGoodGo Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 He left and never looked back. It's been 3 month and I'm almost healed. Only occasionally do I have setbacks like these. One thing bothers me: he never gave me one sign of weakness, one sign that I ever meant anything. Ever since we broke up, not once did he contact me on his own, not one drunken 'i miss you', or 'accidental' miss-call. Even if I knew he didn't want to get back with me, it would have been nice to feel something from him. One mistake, one anything. It's like I never mattered, never existed in his life. Link to post Share on other sites
thepulse27 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 You haven't heard from him because it would feel like exactly that to him too: a sign of weakness. If you meant as much to him as he did to you, and I imagine you did, then this is hard for him, just in a very different way. When we make tough decisions we come up with ways to protect ourselves, both consciously and subconsciously. For the sake of his mental well-being he can't afford to have any doubts about his decision right now, so he won't let himself show what he thinks will be weakness to you. He may also be giving you the space you need to move on, and it sounds like its working; I hope I'm that well-adjusted soon. As for whether you mattered, think back to the time you spent together, if it felt like it mattered to him then, then it always will. And when he can think of you without any feelings (dumpers have to collect themselves too) then that's how you'll be remembered. Link to post Share on other sites
ginyi1111 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 I totally understand how you feel. It's the same with my ex, dropped off the face of the earth the day we broke up. I still get reminders he is alive though when I see his work mails sometimes but apart from that, nada...zilch! At times I feel like some worthless trash that can just be thrown away and that I never matter to him. That I wasnt even good enough for him to check on me. I'm glad that you seem to be doing fine. It's been more than 2 months now and I still feel like crying my heart out, and sometimes the pain seems to knock the wind out of me. How did you do it? Get over the fact that he didnt even bother to try to find out if you are still alive? Link to post Share on other sites
Eisenhower Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 The thing is, by the time they actually pull the trigger on the breakup, they've been mentally preparing for weeks. So, yes, they can walk away and not look back because they've passed the mental stage where they'd have problems with it. They leave us with that. Eisenhower Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 It doesn't help if you know they've missed you though, my ex has missed me but it doesn't help me, it makes it worse if anything. I wish I had something to be annoyed with about him it would make it easier. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 (edited) I'm so sorry hun. I'm so glad I KNOW my ex doesn't miss me and never wants me back in her life. It sucks... but it FORCES me to push forward through these difficult times... Let the NC from his side be your strength. Let it flow through you... let yourself become a STRONGER, SMARTER, SEXIER LOVER, PARTNER, FRIEND, COMPANION, WOMAN... BE EVERYTHING. BE NOTHING. BE THE GRAY. BE THE INBETWEEN. THE TOP. THE BOTTOM. THE SIDES. YOU ARE THE WORLD. Now take your pride.. your selflessness. Your ego.. your poise... your grace... your class and hold your head high. Heal... and be proud you are who you are. Much love, BB Edited February 8, 2010 by bananaboat11 Link to post Share on other sites
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