HeavenOrHell Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Yes I'm doing all the right things, keeping busy, challenging myself with new things, meeting new people, seeing a therapist But, I'm still in love 6 months post break, how do I stop having feelings for him? We're LC now, not NC, I've heard others who've gone NC say that they still have feelings for their ex, absence can make the heart grow fonder, it doesn't necessarily make you stop loving them, I feel like always will and I don't want to love him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
twinklecat Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Hey HoH. The fact you are doing all the right things, you're already well on your way It just takes time, how long? No-one knows. Your feelings will eventually lessen, as no-one can just turn their feelings off like a tap, it just fades over time. Stay strong x Link to post Share on other sites
sean1970 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Yes I'm doing all the right things, keeping busy, challenging myself with new things, meeting new people, seeing a therapist But, I'm still in love 6 months post break, how do I stop having feelings for him? We're LC now, not NC, I've heard others who've gone NC say that they still have feelings for their ex, absence can make the heart grow fonder, it doesn't necessarily make you stop loving them, I feel like always will and I don't want to love him anymore. Do I still love my ex..? Yes... Do I miss her..? Sometimes... Did NC reduce them both to a whisper instead of the Metallica concert volume they had when I was LC over a hundred days ago..? Absolutely. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I feel the same way and it's been 2.5 years. A friend whose wife left him around the same time just started seeing someone new and is totally into her, all happy and crushed out. He was a wreck when his wife left; they had been married for 15 years. My relationship was only one year, so of course I'm jealous of the fact my friend's over his ex and I'm not. It makes me feel like there's something really wrong with me. I've been very diligent with the NC, kept (relatively) active, etc., but I still love my ex like the day he left. It really sucks. It's never taken me this much time to get over someone before. Like you, I feel like it will be this way forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Satisfaction Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I came to comment on this post because i'm feeling exactly the same thing. Its not like I was in a relationship though. I just feel that i shouldn't hurt so much. I read on a forum somewhere that if you get to feeling that way that you should just start seeing other people. It doesn't help. Not me anyway! i also once read a book no how to take the edge off missing someone. I have no clue where that book is now. I wish I had that book right now. I want to wish this feeling away. Link to post Share on other sites
curiousnycgirl Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I'm just posting to offer my support. I have no idea how to stop loving someone - it's not like a light with a switch you can turn on and off. Absent something happening I have no idea how one goes form love to hate. All my friends are waiting for me to start hating him, and frankly it's just not in me. I may hate some of what he's done, but I don't think I can ever hate him. So please just let me give you lots of {{{{{HUGS}}}}} and of course a couple of :bunny: too Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 (edited) Yes I'm doing all the right things, keeping busy, challenging myself with new things, meeting new people, seeing a therapist But, I'm still in love 6 months post break, how do I stop having feelings for him? We're LC now, not NC, I've heard others who've gone NC say that they still have feelings for their ex, absence can make the heart grow fonder, it doesn't necessarily make you stop loving them, I feel like always will and I don't want to love him anymore. Your still in love...OK. You got feeling for the EX...OK. HoH it is not about what your feeling it is about what you do when you feel it. Do you give into it, entertain it, nurture it or do you say "Wow that is still here. I am not going to fight it but I am not going to feed it, I going to focus on some of the things that is going well in my life." So what are some of the good things that has happen over the last 6 months for HoH? What have you learned about yourself? How are you falling in love with you? Edited February 1, 2010 by GrayClouds Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 I think you have to get off the LC bus and go full NC before you can really start to heal. Keeping any sort of contact can be debilitating- as you live from contact to contact instead of focusing on healing. I've done limited contact before and it just kept me in limbo. You have to treat it like it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
Kic Posted February 1, 2010 Share Posted February 1, 2010 Picture yourself five years from now. Perhaps you are in better shape, more educated, making more money, and/or with someone new. It won't always be like this. Link to post Share on other sites
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