willNYC Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 I have this ex girlfriend and we had an amazing relationship. we were best friends and shared a lot of love. we had talks of settling down with kids buying a house and all that. yes we were serious. we dated for 3 years but knew each other before that. close to the end we had some problems but we were fixing them but then she left me for one of my best mates [former] without even saying goodbye. she wants back but it killed me so that wont work. but part of me cant let go of her. how can i stop caring and loving her enough to not make bad choices? thoughts of her cloud my mind all the time and for some reason i can't focus on the bad long enough to feel anything but favorable feelings towards her. please if anyone has tips or experience with this to help me out i would be very grateful Link to post Share on other sites
drew86 Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Oh yeah, that sounds so much like what I'm going through. Talks of getting married and moving in together after school, etc... and then she left me for another guy. The no-contact rule is the only way you will heal, trust me. You don't want to make an emotional decision right now so take time for yourself to think and reason out what has happened and what you deserve. Keep your chin up and don't show weakness. You don't want to be her fall-back option either man, especially if she left you for a friend of yours... that's pretty hard to forgive. You should consider the extreme likelihood of her leaving you again if you did get back together to help stop thinking about how things used to be between you two. Trust your brain to make the decisions right now. The key here is still NC Good luck man Link to post Share on other sites
drew86 Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Also, read these: CaliGuy's No Contact Q&A and Guide to Second Chances Link to post Share on other sites
JaggedRoad Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 thoughts of her cloud my mind all the time and for some reason i can't focus on the bad long enough to feel anything but favorable feelings towards her. That's the thing that kills you, isn't it? She betrays you, yet you can't help but think well of her. I agree with drew, there's a good chance of things repeating itself again if you two get back together. What you need to do now is concentrate on you, and tell yourself that you've had enough. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Howitzer Posted January 6, 2010 Share Posted January 6, 2010 Do your best to understand what NC is for, and what you should be doing while in NC. Otherwise it becomes an endurance race of how long you can hold off on contacting her while thinking about her constantly. Link to post Share on other sites
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