I don't know what the hell is wrong with me

[ShibaInu32]

I don't mean to cry you a river or complain about my life but simply putting it, I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I broke up with my girlfriend about 2 months ago, and still I think about her everyday, every time I wake up.

We got really close, she was the first girl I have ever told that I loved her, and she loved me back. I'm an emotional person, I get really easily moved. We go to school together, she being a junior and I being a senior. She barely turning 16, me barely turning 18. Age difference counts, right?

Reason for breaking up: I felt horrible, emotionally and "spiritually". I was being drained, I expected her for happiness. I couldn't call her since her parents didn't know about me and she didn't want to get into trouble, so I was the one who had to wait for her calls. I was being dragged and pulled by this girl, and slowly she saw I had no control of myself or of her, I grew up seeing my dad being bossed around my mom so what other idea did I have?

I said enough is enough, and I grabbed my balls and said no more and broke it off, but she found out and we decided together. After all those "I love you so much" she gave me and all those "deep" talks, she looked like she didn't give a damn about me braking up with her. I was about to cry.

And so I did. Now today, EVERY damn morning I think about her, and only in the morning for some reason. I do confirm though that I am over her, but there is still this caring for her. She calls me about a week ago, telling me she still cares about me. I love the girl, as a friend now. But, my mind plays tricks on me, all I think of are all the negative things we did together, I curse at her in my mind for NO REASON! I'm not sure what to do.

I've heard that I should just grow a selfish state of mind and get a load of hobbies in order to forget it all. I easily now get sad or mad if someone leaves me for someone else, even a friend just to see another friend!

I also think too much about people, about friends I have and what they think of me. Today, my friend said "you're not fun anymore" and I GET SAD ABOUT IT. How pathetic is that? I'm unable to control these kinds of things. I need help.

How do I got about through the school day without giving a crap about anybody?

I'm so sorry for the minor bad language but I'm just frustrated about this problem that I have not talked to anybody about.

What should I do?