Zeta4PhiSius Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 For some reason Sundays are horrible for me. Probably because it was Sunday evenings that we talked a lot when she walked back into my life. We met again online after parting ways 14 years ago or so in grade school. It wasn't anything involving a relationship back then, but I still had love for her and it was devastating when I realized we had lost touch. Well, we lost touch around 5th grade, got back in touch a little during high school, and then lost touch again. Still trying to cope with this crap for a year. Still depressed about the whole thing. Not really depression...just feel like **** about life in general. This whole thing with her showing up in my life again has made me cynical and generally feeling depressed about most things. Like why am I me? Why am *I* the one that never gets a chance with someone? Why do *I* have to be 30 with no girlfriend to my name in my whole life? Why do *I* have to work twice as hard as everyone else only to have all of my efforts met with a huge slap in the face? It's permeating every aspect of my life and making me feel like a loser, even a year later after she has a boyfriend and proved to me she didn't give a ****. Well, basically what happened was: she was my first love. Back in fifth grade or so. The first girl I gave a valentine to. We became the best of friends, talking on the phone nearly every night until 12-1 in the morning or so back then and talked about everything under the sun. What a naive fool I was to believe that there even was any chance of anything romantic ever developing between us. Why am I having such a hard time? WHY can't I be a guy and just go to bed with the first thing that moves and get on with it? Oh, right I have to be someone that actually cares about the relationship and women as people rather than sex toys. Women don't like that. :mad: :mad: Frustratingly, angrily yours...me. At least until today is over. Link to post Share on other sites
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