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Ex is keeping tabs on me.... ?


cdt76

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Ok short version: Ex left me for a friend and co-worker of mine. They are still together. It's been 4 months. I put a tracker on my myspace blog, which I use to express myself. I found out she has been checking up on me periodically through that. What does this mean and what should I do? I'm still madly in love with her. I miss her like air in my lungs after being punched in the stomach. There has been NC since August. Any advice?

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Stay NC. Block her from MS/FB. Block her number. Delete your friend's number, ms and fb. You need to move on, and if you have all these things in connection with her/them you need to sever them.

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She is blocked on FB, there is no contact at all. I just know she is checking up on me. Why would she do that? I don't understand? Oh, he is no longer a friend either. I'm actually thinking about moving to DC because of him. But I can't help but think that if she is checking up on me, even now...there has to be something there still inside her for me.....not true?

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Incorrect. The thing you have to come to grips with is this: Even though she loved you before, she does this out of habit. You are no longer BF material. She has someone else. So what she does now is simply for her own ego boost.

 

The only thing left in her in regards to you MAY indeed be sympathy, but who has sympathy for the devil? Not I, nor anyone I know. I personally deleted my FB/MS and all that sh*t along with it because I knew my ex was keeping tabs on me, and it kept me clinging to false hope.

 

Let's be honest here, she went with you for a reason, which still exists. You split up, also for a reason, which also still exists. You need to realize she isn't coming back, things will never be as they were, and you will feel like sh*t for a good while because of it.

 

 

But you'll be ok. In fact, you'll be better for it in the long run.

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You are probably right. Just sucks because it was so good. It was almost perfect. It was everything I've ever wanted. Letting go like that is the hardest thing to do. Part of me wants her to shove her sympathy right up her ying yang. The other part wants to believe the sympathy is really the love we shared. I need to give up. Some days I do...other times, like today, the hope creeps in.

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When you say ego boost....what do you mean? She enjoys seeing me in pain or that she feels she is better off than me?

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She wants to see that what she did is having an impact; which it is. It makes her feel a bit more empowered to have a man pining over her. I've heard this sh*t right from the horses mouth before.

 

Everything always seems perfect. That's no different. Rarely do I read these forums without reading the following:

 

"She never looked at me like anyone else ever did"

"It was so different, perfect"

"It was everything I have ever wanted"

 

I even said that sh*t when I came here... But guess what? It's all the same. Really. You'll see. In time this will all be a laughable shadow of the past; but you need to do for you and heal first.

 

One thing that was hard for me was doing exactly the opposite of what I felt. Man, that was hard, coz I wanted to call and text and check up... But really it gets you nowhere. It just sets you back.

 

In this situation there is no logic.... It's kind of like the world flips upside down and inside out... But you will be ok. You just need to take time for you, do what YOU want, and ignore those self sympathising urges to call/text/check up on your ex. To them you are an ego boost. To you, they should simply be an obstacle (For the time being) to overcome.

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I put a tracker on my myspace blog,

Ex is keeping tabs on me.... ?

 

Who is keeping tabs on who ?.. sounds like you are keeping tabs on her too :laugh:

 

You might want to look into that.. if you stop tracking her then you won't be bothered by her..

 

Simple

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Well, there was so many lies and falsehoods coming from the two of them I doubted that she ever really loved me to begin with. I mean who could say they love me and would do anything for me, but already be sleeping with my friend? So, I put that tracker on there to see if she ever thought about me and what she did to me. I got my answer. Believe me. Other than that, there is no contact. None. Not even with the A-hole I work with. I see him but haven't said a word to him. He knows better than to say anything to me. But I wonder why people say one thing and do another? Why dump me for him then still check on me? The why is what I don't understand because there is no pining over her. What I have written on MS is typically about what is going on in my life...doing things for me and taking the advise of LS folks here. I'm living my life and trying to find my way but usually it has nothing to do with her or what happened. So it should not be an ego boost to her. I'm just confused.

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if you stop tracking her then you won't be bothered by her..

 

Simple

 

I hate quoting my own posts.. but oh well...

 

this is really your answer..

 

Pull the tracker off your page dude..let her do whatever it is that she does and just forget about her..

 

By scrubbing your tracking logs you are really only hurting yourself.

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hmmm. maybe i can talk on this for a moment. I had a bf two years ago, who i left because he had two other girlfriends while dating me. However, that didnt change the fact that i loved him. After breaking up with someone, all the feelings you have dont diminish instantly. I was still keeping tabs on him and getting upset when a girl wrote on his facebook wall and all that. BUT THAT DID NOT MEAN I WANTED HIM BACK! Infact he has been begging me for two years, i still dont want to go back. So dont mistake the fact that she keeps tabs on you for anything else. move on with your life

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hmmm. maybe i can talk on this for a moment. I had a bf two years ago, who i left because he had two other girlfriends while dating me. However, that didnt change the fact that i loved him. After breaking up with someone, all the feelings you have dont diminish instantly. I was still keeping tabs on him and getting upset when a girl wrote on his facebook wall and all that. BUT THAT DID NOT MEAN I WANTED HIM BACK! Infact he has been begging me for two years, i still dont want to go back. So dont mistake the fact that she keeps tabs on you for anything else. move on with your life

 

 

But there is nothing on there about any other girls or her. Nothing. So call me a cave man but I don't understand.

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Dude, trust me. I thought any scrap of attention I got was positive when the ex left me. Get rid of the tracker. Get rid of her. Move on. The question of why they are doing something will only lead to more questions.

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I'm guessing you didn't get a second chance with your's either then? Yeah. That little thread of hope is a hard thing to cut.

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But there is nothing on there about any other girls or her. Nothing. So call me a cave man but I don't understand.

 

i was just trying to explain that it was not a positive signal. he should move on with his life

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DenverBachelor

She needs to let go and stop checking your Myspace page for info on your life and you need to stop using Myspace, period. Myspace is a wasteland for Jr. High girls, paedophiles and third-ranked bands.

 

If she left you for your friend, she was horrible to you. I had an ex leave me for my BEST FRIEND ... after a few months, I made the stupid mistake of going over to her place and having sex with her. That restarted the relationship for another 9 months. One day, she was sitting with me at Denny's (we were young, cut me some slack) and she grabbed my hands and said, "I couldn't imagine my life with anyone but you." Not two days later, some guy from Scotland that she met on the internet came over and that was it. I was stuck with her present on Christmas Day drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels while crying listening to Boyz II Men's "End of the Road."

 

Some women take years to figure out because they're slick. At least she gave you the obvious red flag. Saved you a lot of BS.

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And Denver....I've never felt more sorry for anyone in my life than I do for you and what you went through. That is the most terrible thing I could possibly imagine happening. Please know, I feel your pain.

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I actually think if my ex had left me for someone I knew the anger I felt would have made my getting over it easier. Since she left me for no real reason other than the closure I created, I can't guess at what happened. So no, I recieved no second chance.

 

 

 

 

 

Nor do I want one.

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Nor do I want one.

 

I'm a firm believer in my signature...

~~ One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.. ~~

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Ex is keeping tabs on me.... ?

VS

I put a tracker on my myspace blog, Any advice?

 

Your keeping tabs on her...take off the tracker, put on a block or just give up MS and FB.

 

You can not heal if you keep picking at the scab. I does not matter what she does at this point, what matter is what you do.

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I actually think if my ex had left me for someone I knew the anger I felt would have made my getting over it easier. Since she left me for no real reason other than the closure I created, I can't guess at what happened. So no, I recieved no second chance.

 

 

 

 

 

Nor do I want one.

 

 

Oh the anger at one point in time was unmanagable. I took up boxing and fighting in the ring to cope. It has helped and it has kept the anger flowing to a degree. It did not create closure, it created bitterness, mistrust and hate. He manipulated the situation and she walked right into it, willingly. So, there is enough anger to go around for the both of them and a few others who knew about it but didn't tell me. But that hasn't diminished the feeling that she was the "ONE". She probably wasn't but I'm 38 and know my feelings were real. So, needless to say, I'm not sure if I want a second chance or not. I know I'm probably not ready or able to move on yet but I am working on it.

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ok. No breaking NC. I'll stay the course. Thank you. I've been through enough. I don't need anymore heartache from regret.

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almostpassedit

what kind of tracker did you use? this sound interesting but yeah my ex was actively cheating on me and well, i think she wanted out, i don't know, she was confusing, anyway i knew she was keeping tabs on me via facebook and at first, it made me wonder as to why but eventually i set my profile to private, and delete all our mutual friends, pics, everything, blocked MS, changed number, the whole nine yards....

 

 

even 1.5 years after the "official" break up, i knew she was still checking, why she did that, i honestly don't know but i put it out of my mind.

 

i told myself 3 months ago to never check her profile again and well, u can't love someone who doesn't love you back so its pointless to wonder "why", i just know she betrayed me, hurt me, left me for dead and never looked backed.

 

good job baby girl, never look back!

 

i still wonder about her, even today about 5 minutes ago as I awoke, my heart was asking my brain "where is X" and my brain said "She left you" and my heart said "Where is she" and my brain repeated "she left you"

 

eitherway, u can never figure out the females, just note, she didn't want you for whatever reason.

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