Ms. Joolie Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) I am fighting the urge to look at his Twitter page. I've not looked since Friday. I will not look. I want to let go! I need to completely let go. Why do I keep myself attached to this? By looking at his Twitter page, or even allowing myself to dwell on any thoughts of him, I am not letting go. By holding onto the even smallest chains, I am keeping myself addicted to that old relationship, a relationship that is over. In remaining addicted, I am further closing off any possibility of a new relationship.... a new relationship with myself, with someone else, or even with him. The way I see it, if we don't let go we can't be open for what's next. If we keep grasping the fragments of what's left, we can't be free of the past enough to accept a future. We owe it to ourselves to completely let go. It's not just a matter of no contact for me, it's more like stopping the addiction. It has to be about stopping the urge at it's source. I want to stop the urge, and look forward to when I no longer even have that urge, when I am no longer even interested in looking for him. I have no desire to see him, or call him, or email him. But what I haven't gotten over is the easy access on the internet to him. And he's everywhere. I wouldn't be surprised if he's read all my posts on here, it doesn't bother me if he has. So I promise myself: No more internet addiction to him. I am stating that I will completely let go of this relationship. I will completely let go of every attachment to him that I've had. I don't want it. I want to be open and free for my future. Free to create my future without the past weighing me down. I am letting you go, T. I have to. No more dreams. Only reality, only what is, only how I react to what is. You are not in my life right now, and I have to react to this reality. I have to respond with all my strength and let go of what we had. It hurts to completely let go like this, but I have to do this. This is what I am obliged to do. ******************************************************** So, yes, this is another coping thread, and I'll be coming back when I feel the urge to look him up on the internet. Feel free to post here if you can use this thread, if you feel ready to make a Letting Go statement. If it helps, feel free to write your own Letting Go thoughts, addressing them to your ex. Edited November 10, 2009 by Ms. Joolie Link to post Share on other sites
JL911 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You need to realize there are thousands of wonderful good looking guys out there waiting to appreciate you and not make you feel like garbage. I let go of my ex after tormenting myself for a few months and got my life back in order and became happy once more. Months later in popped someone else who is wonderful to me. She has made me really look back and almost laugh at what I put up with trying to make things work out with someone who would rather take than give. Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 You need to realize there are thousands of wonderful good looking guys out there . So what are you saying...the rest of the million of us guys are dog faced boys?????????????????????????? Link to post Share on other sites
JL911 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) Pretty much....lol I think very highly of myself as a man and take my manhood very seriously. And when I see those around me and it makes me even think Im an even greater catch...lol Even out at a bar I see all these little boys with their hair done up some with highlights, their pastel colored designer shirts with their collars popped, designer jeans, cigarettes tucked in behind their ear, they think they are hot $hit....Walking around swearing and acting too cool for school cause they have a beer in their hand...When in reality the thought of dirt on their hands or blood would make them cringe. If this is what is right...well Im happy being wrong.... In reality they just look like a bunch of overly feminine fools, and I have no idea who they think they are impressing....They must have lacked a father figure or something...It amazes me they even like girls... Edited November 10, 2009 by JL911 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms. Joolie Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 Hey you guys are derailing and ruining my moment of drama. haha Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 .It amazes me they even like girls... An AMEN my brother.. And even more sad, that girls like them! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms. Joolie Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 An AMEN my brother.. And even more sad, that girls like them! Maybe the girls, but not the women. Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Maybe the girls, but not the women. I really, really want to believe you...but... Link to post Share on other sites
JL911 Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I live by the rule of thumb that I will not change or be fake for anyone this is me this is who I am, if you cant deal with that, oh well... No your probaly right little immature shallow girls go for the little boys I described above...Im not one to want some dumb little girl...But Lord knows Ive found plenty of them...lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms. Joolie Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 I live by the rule of thumb that I will not change or be fake for anyone this is me this is who I am, if you cant deal with that, oh well... No your probaly right little immature shallow girls go for the little boys I described above...Im not one to want some dumb little girl...But Lord knows Ive found plenty of them...lol Yes, that was my point. I find plenty of little boys doing little boy things.... going to the easy places to pick up girls. Those aren't the boys for me. So maybe, JL, to find a real woman for your real manliness you have to go out of your way a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms. Joolie Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) Day 2. Several times yesterday I wanted to break my promise to myself. But then I thought about how horrible that would be. I thought about breaking my integrity to myself, and how I don't want to be that kind of person anymore. I didn't break my promise. So, again, I promise myself: I will let go of this failed relationship completely. Because I refuse to look back. Only move forward, only do what I have to do to move forward. I will not look for him on the internet. I will keep my promise, because that's the kind of person I want to be. Edited November 11, 2009 by Ms. Joolie Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 No your probaly right little immature shallow girls go for the little boys I described above...Im not one to want some dumb little girl...But Lord knows Ive found plenty of them...lol I have meet plenty of very "mature, intelligent women who still does. I think it is a recessive gene. I will keep my promise, because that's the kind of person I want to be. Ms. Joolie, for that is this person you Are! and yes I am trying to derail your drama...and so are you. Link to post Share on other sites
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 Day 2. I will keep my promise, because that's the kind of person I want to be. You are strong!!! You will be so proud of yourself later and wonder what the pull was all about. I am proud of you already!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms. Joolie Posted November 11, 2009 Author Share Posted November 11, 2009 (edited) Thanks, GC. Thanks, DotM. Sheesh, you two almost put a tear in my eye. Thank you. You know, I just post my silly stuff here and then it all just works, so I keep doing it and things get better. Amazing. It really is about sharing our experiences, new insights, and committing to new things for new results... at least for me. Edited November 11, 2009 by Ms. Joolie Link to post Share on other sites
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