EricaH329 Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 So he contacted me today. Nothing big, just wanted to know my address to send the stuff I left at his house. We've been NC for 3 weeks, and I always wondered what it would make me feel like if he were to contact me. What i'd say... how it would make me feel. I thought i'd tell him how much of an @$$ he was, and how I don't ever want to talk to him again. Surprisingly though, I don't feel much of anything. I do miss him, mostly I just miss telling him everything. He was my best friend. He told me how long he was going over seas for, and that's really the extent of our conversation outside of where to send my stuff. I realized that the thought of him is a lot more powerful than he actually is. I feel more sad just from thinking about him. I'm definitely not over him yet, this whole 'falling out of love' thing takes a little longer than I expected, but after talking to him, even for the short amount of time that I did, made me realize that the end is near. I'll always have a place for him in my heart, we shared something that no one can ever replace, but all of that is a memory. Just ranting again. Thought i'd share the situation Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 3, 2009 Author Share Posted October 3, 2009 I have a feeling I might have spoken too soon. I don't really feel much of anything at all right now except for being rediculously hungover... so after it all sinks in I might be singing a different tune. I guess i'll see how I feel in a few hours haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 3, 2009 Author Share Posted October 3, 2009 PS - I ran into a screen door last night, thought i'd throw that out there Link to post Share on other sites
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 PS - I ran into a screen door last night, thought i'd throw that out there LOL, that is awsome. As for your OP, I wouldn't assume anything right now. Getting over someone involves many many cycles of sadness, anger, indifference, and back all around again- and it takes a while; a lot longer than a month. Just expect to feel this, and many other things in and out for quite some time. I know that any time I was getting over an ex gf, just when I thought I found a feeling I could settle on, wether it be indifference, anger, or sadness- it would up and change. Sometimes after being a certain way for days. If you assume anything, assume you'll feel different tomorrow or the next day. And when you do, don't feel disapointed in yourself. It's SUPPOSED to take a while. It's a rollar coaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 3, 2009 Author Share Posted October 3, 2009 LOL, that is awsome. As for your OP, I wouldn't assume anything right now. Getting over someone involves many many cycles of sadness, anger, indifference, and back all around again- and it takes a while; a lot longer than a month. Just expect to feel this, and many other things in and out for quite some time. I know that any time I was getting over an ex gf, just when I thought I found a feeling I could settle on, wether it be indifference, anger, or sadness- it would up and change. Sometimes after being a certain way for days. If you assume anything, assume you'll feel different tomorrow or the next day. And when you do, don't feel disapointed in yourself. It's SUPPOSED to take a while. It's a rollar coaster. Haha, I got a phone call this morning from a guy I was hanging out with last night and he was like "Yeah... you ran into a screen door in front of everyone last night, that's pretty embarassing." I can't help but laugh about it. How can you judge a drunk girl? Impossible! Anyway, you're right. I know that once everything sinks in, i'll probably go right back to being sad again, but like I said before... it's the thought that kills me. So i'm going to try and not think about it. I do miss him a lot, and I wish we could remain friends, but I think it might be a little too early for the both of us. I am prepared for whatever might come, i've been through it all already so it won't be anything new. Now.... if only I could sober up enough to get my @$$ to work Link to post Share on other sites
Nedved Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 lol the hangover must be still cushioning the blow of the door!!! The sore head might still be around the corner:) totally know what your getting at though when you say the thought of him is more powerful than the person and thats very very true. A lot of the time the memories and thoughts of the person are totally crowded by sentiment and sometimes these memories and thoughts were'nt quite as good as we make them out to be. I know now 4 and a half months after my ex girlfriend broke up with me that a lot of my thoughts of her were overly sentimental. I guess thats what hurt and loss dose though. We had great times of course but its getting to the stage where i'm more happy and grateful for them than sad about them. Thats the magic of NC people:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
Beeotch Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 So he contacted me today. Nothing big, just wanted to know my address to send the stuff I left at his house. We've been NC for 3 weeks, and I always wondered what it would make me feel like if he were to contact me. What i'd say... how it would make me feel. I thought i'd tell him how much of an @$$ he was, and how I don't ever want to talk to him again. Surprisingly though, I don't feel much of anything. I do miss him, mostly I just miss telling him everything. He was my best friend. He told me how long he was going over seas for, and that's really the extent of our conversation outside of where to send my stuff. I realized that the thought of him is a lot more powerful than he actually is. I feel more sad just from thinking about him. I'm definitely not over him yet, this whole 'falling out of love' thing takes a little longer than I expected, but after talking to him, even for the short amount of time that I did, made me realize that the end is near. I'll always have a place for him in my heart, we shared something that no one can ever replace, but all of that is a memory. Just ranting again. Thought i'd share the situation I totally know what you mean.... It's a good thing though when you realize the world still spins outside of your ex and your former relationship It is true that that feeling means you are closed to "the end" Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 lol the hangover must be still cushioning the blow of the door!!! The sore head might still be around the corner:) totally know what your getting at though when you say the thought of him is more powerful than the person and thats very very true. A lot of the time the memories and thoughts of the person are totally crowded by sentiment and sometimes these memories and thoughts were'nt quite as good as we make them out to be. I know now 4 and a half months after my ex girlfriend broke up with me that a lot of my thoughts of her were overly sentimental. I guess thats what hurt and loss dose though. We had great times of course but its getting to the stage where i'm more happy and grateful for them than sad about them. Thats the magic of NC people:cool: Surprisingly my head doesn't hurt at all I think the screen door took pity on me. The worst of it was the jokes I was getting about it at work. I have to laugh at myself, what a dorkkk!!! And I definitely know what you mean about over-fantasizing about past relationships, or blocking out all the bad and focusing on the good (which only leads to furthering the healing process). I've somehow managed to remind myself of what the relationship was really like as opposed to what my mind would like to make me believe it was like. It's helped a lot towards moving on. It's only been 3 weeks since the break up, and i'm doing surprisingly well. I do miss him, but I miss him as a person, I don't miss the relationship. I do believe that I could honestly be friends with him at some point. I'm a little 'iffy' about getting into that now though, since I am still trying to heal and move on to some extent. Better not take that chance. I totally know what you mean.... It's a good thing though when you realize the world still spins outside of your ex and your former relationship It is true that that feeling means you are closed to "the end" Ah yes, it feels wonderful that I can see where the end of the hurt and pain is. It's a little ways off, but nothing that's discouraging. It's bittersweet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 Ahhh... so so so very close to contacting him. Not to talk to him about the relationship or anything like that, but to congratulate him on graduating school and to see how he has been doing. I have this intense urge to make sure he's doing alright. Ah, as i'm typing this he just signed onto AIM. Quick... someone stop me... !!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 Stops... you? Lol how's that work? DON'T DO IT IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!! STEP AWAY FROM THE EDGE MISS! If I were you I'd not worry about congratulating him. If the time ever comes where you HAVE to talk to him again for whatever reason, you can mention it then if you still want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 So weird! During the past 3 weeks, I have never had the urge to contact him at all... and now all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. I know I shouldn't, which is why i'm not going to... but damn this urge is soooo incredibly intense for some reason!! It's not like I want to talk to him about us, or anything that had happened between us... that's the last thing I want to talk about, it's more like I just need to talk to him. Weird. I hope it'll go away soon... sitting here thinking about it isn't helping. Link to post Share on other sites
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 It's because you want the comfort of his conversation, you want to feel like he's not completely gone. In the back of your mind it probably feels like he's drifting farther and farther away. The feeling you're getting is what HE'S supposed to be feeling. That fear of drifting is what's making you want contact with him. You're right, it probably isn't about anything specific, nor about the two of you- that's why you can tell it's just for the comfort of SOME kind of conversation. It gets easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 You're right. I do miss the conversations with him. Which is what is making it so hard. Now that I don't miss the relationship, I miss him. This just feels terrible! I don't really know how to deal with this part... never felt this strong about it before. I know that he wants to be friends, he's told me many times... and I feel like I might be ready for that. Or maybe that's just because I really want to talk to him. I'm literally sitting here arguing with myself right now. Who does that!?! Link to post Share on other sites
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 You're right. I do miss the conversations with him. Which is what is making it so hard. Now that I don't miss the relationship, I miss him. This just feels terrible! I don't really know how to deal with this part... never felt this strong about it before. I know that he wants to be friends, he's told me many times... and I feel like I might be ready for that. Or maybe that's just because I really want to talk to him. I'm literally sitting here arguing with myself right now. Who does that!?! I do all the time. But I'm Bipolar... what's your excuse? Lol kidding. If you want to be friends with him, then go for it. But I don't think you're ready for that; I don't think you ever will be, just because sometimes it's just too hard. Sometimes it's best to end on a romantic note instead of a friendship one. Nothing is ever over for certain. Personally I've tried to end all my relationships with my exes while we still had some sort of romantic feeling for each other, cutting it off before it had a chance to dissolve into mere friendship. It was just easier for me that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 No more arguing with myself... I IMed him. Dumb. But I feel fine about it! He had an away message saying that he was playing this game that me and him used to play ALL the time, so I IMed him saying that I miss that game, and he immediatly responded saying that he can send it to me if I wanted. We are now just talking about random stuff. What it's like for him being back home and whatnot. Nothing has been brought up about us or anything, he subtly hinted at how being back home reminds him of me... but besides that, i'm enjoying our conversation. I think this is what I need. At this moment anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
UrKillinMeSmalls Posted October 4, 2009 Share Posted October 4, 2009 I envy you, it would be nice to be able to talk to one of my exes. I was brutally relentless in my cutting off of communication though, so that's a fat chance of ever happening. I hope it doesn't end up hurting you later on in the day or week. It doesn't look like it will but I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 Thank you!! I hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the @$$ either. Something just happened that made me kind of sit back and think 'hmm', he had bought me a webcam so that we could see eachother while he is away... and he asked me if I still use it. I told him no and he told me to keep it so when he goes to Japan if I don't still completely hate him he can see my pretty face. I quickly changed the subject, and he is subtly saying how certain things remind him of me... like all the songs he listens to and whatnot. He is doing it in a subtle way though... but i'm trying to avoid any talk of that, so I change the subject. I'm not quite sure how our conversation is going to end... but i'll update when we are done talking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted October 4, 2009 Author Share Posted October 4, 2009 I'm going to post another thread. This is going to be a long one. Link to post Share on other sites
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