Loneliness

[Darren09]

Ok so its ova a month now since iv been without her.... its so hard because i did everything with her. Just reaching out to you guys here for a little support never been alone like this before. I live at home with my perants still and they go on holiday and i am unable to go because i have an important job interview so i am on my own completley..... dont really know how this will affect me but am totaly not looking forward to it.

 

I type of person who likes people to be around and i hate listening to my own thoughts al go insane. i know there are lots of people who are alone on this site i just wanna try and get a response as to how do you deal with it. al just be sat watchin tv on my own and really not used to it. I will definately try and call my ex in this period and i know i wont have the strenght to keep NC. I wont get a reply from her she doesnt speak to me at all and i duno what to do. Thanks for reading

[JMA707]

Yeah man I know how you feel. It's been about a month since my girl left me...I can't really give much advice, except DON'T bother her alot. If she asks for space give her what she wants. I wish that I had given my ex space but I didn't. When you constantly try to contact them it gives off the appearence that you are needy and desperate...and thats how she saw me. It just pushes them farther away from you because they lose respect for you. Probably why it is so easy for her to move on to another guy barely a month after she ended it...Right now I don't have any hope to be with her...probably ever again. The days are tough to go through, especially the mornings...they are the worst. Every night I dream about her and wake up in the morning, and it basically upsets my entire day...She was not only my lover but my best friend too. It's like what you said, we did everything together...All I can say is stay strong...That's a little hypocritical of me though, because I'm not going to lie, there are times where I just straight up break down just thinking about her. Even if I hear her name it hurts...Just hang in there it will get better...at least thats what everyone keeps telling me too

[icyness]

I can't really add much to what JMA said, as it was very well put.

 

I'm sorry, it's crushing to say the least.

It's weird how lonely it can make you feel, especially if you considered them your best friend as well. I have a couple of people around me I know love me very much, and I them, yet the fact that I'm no longer with him has caused me to feel I have no one in the world.

 

I lay in bed attempting to contemplate it all, and I don't know why anymore as no matter how much I try, I can't; which I should stop anyways because others continue to say quit it with the thoughts and what if's..they'll only drive you insane which is so true.

I feel hypocritical as well on so many levels as I can reach out to everyone else and offer advice, but I've yet to take my own.

 

It hurts, but there are so many others who feel you; we're all here. xo

[Meaplus3]

Ok so its ova a month now since iv been without her.... its so hard because i did everything with her. Just reaching out to you guys here for a little support never been alone like this before. I live at home with my perants still and they go on holiday and i am unable to go because i have an important job interview so i am on my own completley..... dont really know how this will affect me but am totaly not looking forward to it.

 

Hi Darren. Well, it's only been a little over a month and that's not very long so of course your going to still feel the inpact of the break up. And one part of that is the lonely feelings.

 

 

I type of person who likes people to be around and i hate listening to my own thoughts al go insane. i know there are lots of people who are alone on this site i just wanna try and get a response as to how do you deal with it.

 

When I'm alone, I deal with it buy keeping as busy and focused on happy things as much as possible. Hobbies, excercis all good for the mind, body and soul. You will get there Darren. It may take some time. Now, I really suggest you try very hard to stick with NC. No Contact will help to speed the healing process along. All the best to you.

 

Mea:)

[broken_promises]

The loneliness is absolutely crushing, especially at first. I have been lucky because after I moved out, I moved to a city where a bunch of my friends live. So, I've been trying to do something fun with them as much as possible. It helps for the time that I am with them, but coming home to being alone is still difficult many nights. (I've only been on my own for two months since the breakup.)

 

Nothing really completely kills that lonely feeling. The internet is helpful, obviously. Forums like this or chat rooms can help to connect with people. I also will sometimes go out to coffee shops or to stores or grocery shopping... anything so that I am a) out of the house and b) among the living, even if I feel like the walking dead.

 

Exercise also really helps me... tv does nothing to combat the loneliness for me... just makes me more anxious. At least with working out or going for a walk, you are doing something good for you and it helps clear your head on some level.

 

Glad you posted here. I know it is hard to adjust to being alone after being with someone on a regular basis.

[sickdog55]

Dont contact her man, Shes not worth it, try and accept it as if she's not coming back, i know thats hard, work on your own self, become a better person, stay busy, the feelings fade with time and the thoughts of her will slowly go away, My break up with my ex has actually triggered me to change my self, get into shape and become as strong as i can both mentally and physically, Not for her but for myself and for the right girl who i will be with one day, I have been out of shape my whole life and no self esteem and i never thought it would take something like this to get me into shape lol and start looking hotter, i used to weigh 105 kg when i was with her now im down to 89kgs only like after 3 months after our break up, I spose in a way i have to thank her for dumping me, Its her loss, and now i have all the time in the world to do what ever i want and to find the right "One", Only when im fully happy with my self first of course.... You will be alright mate trust me... Stay Strong and dont contact her for your own sanity

[entityzero]

All i can say my friend is DONT contact her, it literally will do NOTHING to better your situation.

It will only make her roll her eyes and sigh when she sees you calling, think of her doing that everytime you goto pick up the phone.

If she wants to call you she will, and you not calling her might even prompt her to do exactly that. But dont get you're hopes up.

 

This is simple, crucial advice that i ignored at the end of last year, and it kept the pain burning for longer!

 

Do yourself the biggest favour and go NO CONTACT!

 

STAY STRONG BROTHER, im 9 months down the track and still burning from bad choices i made and advice i didnt take at the time, idiot, dont do the same!!

 

Good luck.

[caramel c]

DO NOT contact her, it will only make you feel worse. PLEASE. DON'T. DO IT.

[Darren09]

thanks guys am tryin so hard..... its like hardest thing av had to go thru in my life..

[caramel c]

thanks guys am tryin so hard..... its like hardest thing av had to go thru in my life..

 

Ok, since you said that - imagine yourself in a few months looking back on this whole experience and instead of having regrets about how you acted, you look back and you are PROUD of yourself, while thinking that you survived the hardest thing you ever had to go through, in the RIGHT way, proud of yourself that you went through it without regrets and that you can share your experience with others who are going through the same thing. What a feeling!!!! <------let that be your goal.

[Nedved]

Darren mate your 1 month broken up with your ex. I'm 3 months broken up with my ex and believe me it will get better. I was you 2 months ago. I felt totally alone and getting through the day was a chore at times but its part of the healing process. I know its a nightmare. The worst thing you can do now is contact her. Keep reading, posting and venting here.

 

entityzero made an excellent point about her rolling her eyes when you call. Keep that in mind in weak moments. believe me she'l respect you more if you stay away from her. However who cares about her. Your the important one so just focus on yourself and trust me there is life after your ex.