Taucher Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Ok, first off, I am not strict NC. We still have long running issues regarding the flat we shared together (Landlord has dissapeared with our deposit). So, we text occassionally about practical things. She asks me questions about what Im up too etc. I ignore these questions. I also turn my phone off just after I send a text cos I feel like she will ring me. Anyway, on Saturday I turned my phone back on, and there were 5 missed calls from my EX. Thing is, we dont need to talk to each other, text is fine. I had a voicemail. I ignored it, didnt listen to it. 8 hours later, I get a text from her apologising for leaving an angry voicemail and she didnt mean some of the things she said in it. I didnt reply to that text and still have not listened to the voicemail. She is becoming increasingly erratic and accusing me (via email now) of ignoring her. WHY DOESNT SHE GET THAT SHE BROKE MY HEART AND I DONT WANT TO SPEAK TO HER? Isnt it obvious??????? T Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I can't believe you haven't listened to the message! That is some serious self restraint. Are you ever going to? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taucher Posted August 3, 2009 Author Share Posted August 3, 2009 Hello caramel c No, I am not going to listen to it. Expecially now I know that she was angry and having a rant at me. I dont need or want to listen to that. I cant see what good will come from listening to it so because of that, it doesnt feel like massive self-restraint. If she was angry at me and left an angry message, I KNOW that I have done nothing to deserve her anger. It is her problem, but listening to it might make it MY problem. It will probably upset me. Thing is, I feel that I am gaining some control of the situation. Maybe I am moving on. I dont know. Urgh. T Link to post Share on other sites
caramel c Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I am impressed. Good for you, you are absolutely right. You didn't ask for this, and it will upset you if you listen to it. Way to go man. Link to post Share on other sites
ahotmess Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 You are showing a TREMENDOUS amount of self restraint...did you just delete the message..if not you really should..just so the temptation is out of the way. As effed up as this sounds...I wish my ex were trying to contact me. I know that NC is the best thing...but ignoring him would bring a smidge of satisfaction into my life right now. GOOD FOR YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Hey T. If she lives so close to you I'm surprised she hasn't come banging on your door! I'm like you, I'd be apt to delete the voicemail without listening and keep my phone off. Have you told her you don't wish to communicate unless it's "business" related? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 This will go on until you answer her. When you do, she'll be validated and ignore you again for a while. She doesn't want you. She just wants to know you want her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Taucher Posted August 4, 2009 Author Share Posted August 4, 2009 I am impressed. Good for you, you are absolutely right. You didn't ask for this, and it will upset you if you listen to it. Way to go man. Thank you for your encouragement. It really does mean a lot. It's nice to be validated You are showing a TREMENDOUS amount of self restraint...did you just delete the message..if not you really should..just so the temptation is out of the way. As effed up as this sounds...I wish my ex were trying to contact me. I know that NC is the best thing...but ignoring him would bring a smidge of satisfaction into my life right now. GOOD FOR YOU! Again, thanks! I have not deleted the message because on my phone you kind of have to access the messages first in order to delete them, and I would definitely hear a bit of it. Messages delete themselves after 7 days though so I have to wait only until Saturday. I know what you mean about ignoring on NC. If both people are doing NC it's not the same. It feels empowering to ignore them, although sometimes it makes me feel guilty. Hey T. If she lives so close to you I'm surprised she hasn't come banging on your door! I'm like you, I'd be apt to delete the voicemail without listening and keep my phone off. Have you told her you don't wish to communicate unless it's "business" related? No, I havent told her I dont want to communicate. It should be clear to her. All the texts she has sent has had the excuse of being about business but she always throws in a personal message. Tonight she told me that she is going on holiday for a week tomorrow. Why does she think I want to know? I DONT CARE! Well, I DO care, but I'd rather not know. This will go on until you answer her. When you do, she'll be validated and ignore you again for a while. She doesn't want you. She just wants to know you want her. Agreed. She wants me to be pining for her etc. Truth is, I am a bit. The important thing I guess is not to let her know that? T Link to post Share on other sites
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