gypsi Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I just found out my ex slept with someone else....i am shattered i feel physically sick i dont know how i am going to get thru this, i only have images of her #%#% him replaying in my head her touching him like she use to touch me, her kissing him like she use to kiss me...it hurts so much! I feel like an idiot for even thinking there would have been a second chance. I honeslty would rather be dead than feel so much pain. Link to post Share on other sites
moo Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I'm very sorry. My ex jumped into a relationship within days after we had a terrible argument. Two weeks later, he implied he was sleeping with her. I felt like I was going to die, but I did not. Today makes 3 weeks on NC and I'm still going strong. What kind of things are you doing to cope with the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I'm sorry you're hurting, gypsi. I can relate, a similar thing happened to me when I discovered that someone I thought I could trust wasn't worth of the trust I placed in her. It's very difficult, I know. I don't have any advice for you other than maintaining NC. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
on edge Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I just found out my ex slept with someone else....i am shattered i feel physically sick i dont know how i am going to get thru this, i only have images of her #%#% him replaying in my head her touching him like she use to touch me, her kissing him like she use to kiss me...it hurts so much! I feel like an idiot for even thinking there would have been a second chance. I honeslty would rather be dead than feel so much pain. I am really sorry Gypsi. I have been there. My ex slept with someone else while we were together. (I only found out after we broke up). And since we broke up, she has slept with at least 3 other guys. It sucks. I dwelled on it for an entire month. Anger, hurt, embarrassment, frustration, nausea, more anger, and then depression. Anything sexual would remind me of it, including movies, tv shows, and even my friends talking about their dating lives. Trust me. it gets better. Unfortunately, it just takes time. Keep posting here, we will support you as you deal with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Nedved Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 So sorry to hear that gypsi!! thats an arrow through the heart. I know how you feel. the images are horrible and its all you think about. This is why NC is so important i guess. How did you find out this happened? Did she tell you or did a friend tell you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 a mutual friend of ours told me...and she didnt leave out the details apparently its a hot italian guy she met while travelling europe. Urgh i am so devastated i am trying to push the images out of my mind but its hard. Reality kicked in she is gone forever, none of this would have happened if i didnt screw up...thats what makes it so hard she would still have been mine now some guy is all OVER her! I feel so depressed right now and i am in a forgein country i just want to pack up and go home i need my family right now i dont feel well at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Nedved Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Your mutual friend should'nt of said anything to you especially when your still healing. I suggest you tell your mutual friend not to mention anything like that again. You cannot be hearing things like that. I had a similar experience last week when i met a friend of my ex and she told me my ex is seeing somebody else. Like you it killed me and its still hurts to think about it but we'le get over this. I'm not as bad as i thought i'd be. I know the thoughts and images are a nightmare of her sharing her body with another guy. Its very personel and i know what your going through. It seems like you'l never get better but of course you will. Don't be so hard on yourself for screwing up. Unfortunatley nobody belongs to anybody. Our ex's are gonna do what our ex's are gonna do and we can't stop it. As i said already you can't be hearing stuff like this. But what you've heard about her with this guy is as bad as its gonna get. It won't get any worse than this. The only way is up for you now and you'l get through this. Just try concentrating on yourself now and not her. Is there any chance you could visit your family for a few days or is it to far? Link to post Share on other sites
siriusmatt Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 No one needs to hear stuff like that about their exes. You would do well to sever ties with the ex and this so called friend of yours. A friend says something like, "She's moved on."... This person is something else entirely. Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 While it sucks, at least you now know. Once that page is torn, there's no taping over it. Hopefully, this will help you move on completely. I feel for you, though. That's just horrible news. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 yeah guess its what i needed know in order to finally let go completely...i always wondered what "letting go" feels like well now i know. Thanks for the support everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
entityzero Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Hey Gypsi, I stopped posting here a while back, I came here after my ex-gf of two years started sleeping with my friend pretty much the week after she broke up with me. It was THE WORST thing i've ever had to deal with, and the thoughts and images of them together paralyzed me, i used to play it over and over, so please realize this is NORMAL when you are in a state of shock like this. I was at my lowest point, all the questions you wanna ask her, how, why, who, when.. so you are definitely not alone in this pain and as unfortunate as it is it's something ALOT if not most people go through in their life, what goes up, must come down right? Eventually, one thing that helped me was maintaining confidence in myself, like anytime i thought about her having sex with him, i just thought about how much she enjoyed it with me, and that for all you know, it was **** sex with him and no one can please her like you.. In other words, all of this is her loss! Soon or in the future, someone new and exciting will be the recipient of your love. But thats a way down the track, your gonna feel low, sad, upset, angry, resentful, jealous and exhausted, THIS is what a break up IS! But trust me, do what you can to make it pass coz it DOES, i thought i would never get out of my low, that was 7 months ago, it was a long hard road but i learnt so much about myself, my thoughts on trust and love changed, i spent time with friends and accepted that the girl i loved was gone. Thats the thing, once they are your ex, like, even down to the second, theres nothing you can do really to stop them doing what they want, if they are of low moral fibre, you will not be at the front of their minds. Its sad, but YOU DONT OWN THEM. Hang in there, accept this is bulls**t, but its what lifes about sometimes and as long as you can do what you can to get though it, you'll get through it, make sense?! As i said, i stopped posting on here over the weeks and months, because the weight started to lift off my shoulders, and I got so much support from people here at Loveshack, it was amazing and i felt strong enough to do it on my own, but I thought i'd leave some inspirational words for you as I was just the same as you, and I can now promise you this will pass my friend. Good luck, and love yourself. PS: And definately go NO CONTACT, it sucks but it will help you get over so much quicker, if theres one thing i could change about my healing it would of been to listen to the people on here when they said stop trying to talk to her. If theres something to say, she will say it. If not, you'll be all the better for it anyway, you dont need to know anything about what shes doing. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 a mutual friend of ours told me...and she didnt leave out the details apparently its a hot italian guy she met while travelling europe. Urgh i am so devastated i am trying to push the images out of my mind but its hard. Reality kicked in she is gone forever, none of this would have happened if i didnt screw up...thats what makes it so hard she would still have been mine now some guy is all OVER her! I feel so depressed right now and i am in a forgein country i just want to pack up and go home i need my family right now i dont feel well at all. What the hell? I just got really pissed off. This mutual friend of yours is not very mutual. How could someone be so intentionally cruel to you and then call you their friend? Please re think these people you have for friends. I don't think they are any friend at all. You need people that are going to care about you, this person who told you is not that type. They sound like they should make a guest appearance on one tree hill or gossip girl or one of those teeny bopper dramas. The person who told you this and "didn't spare the details" just disgusts me fully. UGH. I'm sorry you feel so hurt and hopeless right now. It's going to take awhile, but it's going to be okay one day. Link to post Share on other sites
ahotmess Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 So literally the day after our breakup...my ex hooked up with my "friend". The friend who supported me throughout the week long pre-breakup awkwardness. Oh yes, and she is married! WTF?????? She is now going through a divorce. It's like the rug has been snatched out from under me. And the thought of the two of them together angers me beyond belief. It rots my gut. She knew that he meant the world to me. She knew how devasted I was, but she only cared about her. She hurt sooo many people. He did too. Why are people so cruel. We will all get through this crazy, tragic, yet life changing experience. We have to. NC is the only way to go.....it sucks but I've maintained NC with her completely, and only called him once to get his things...when he didn't show as promised I loaded up all of the things he left behind, and what little she had left at my house and took the things to the womens shelter thrift shop. Liberating really.....it still hurts alot.....but come here whenever you can. And when you think you can't hold on.....do it anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
andreww Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 my ex started a new relationship about a week after we broke up. 3 months sgo. i can only assume they are sleeping together. the guy looks like one of those guys who think highly of themselfs. so i also think he would ba one minute wonder. but i have a bit of a big imagination Link to post Share on other sites
Author gypsi Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 So sorry to hear that ahotmess, thats just terrible i knew a friend who went thru that once the only difference was that it was her niece who hooked up with her ex! It took her many years to get over it, people can hurt each other so badly...well let me tell you one thing i am a firm believer in Karma, my friend is now in a happy loving relationship with a new guy they are madly in love! As for her niece?? He dumped her and made another girl pregnant, for 3 years now she is still alone and so uhappy and hasent found love again. I am seriously getting rid of some so called "friends" in my life, this girl who told me this is more a friend of my ex than of me. Well i have to say atleast she waited 4 months or so untill she did sleep with someone, she is a good person i have no ill feeling towards her. I was the bad one in the relationship i cant feel sorry for myself at all i just feel anger at myself. It was going to happen sooner or later, we are broken up she can do whatever she likes with whoever she likes, a part of me wishes that it was a **** experience for her but then again i lover her so much i just want her to be happy. I have done a 360 change since hearing this i havent been out of bed in 2 days....i dont want to wake up, when i wake up it all hits me and i just want to escape again sleeping is the only thing that helps. I cant fly home its to far, my mother and brother are coming in a month atleast i have that to look forward too. Life is hell right now. Link to post Share on other sites
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