t0ri Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 My ex and I have been broken up for 4 months now, and NC for about 2. I've been doing really well with the NC, and haven't even had any desire to talk to him...till now. I don't know where the sudden urge to talk to him is coming from? Out of nowhere... I really just want to be able to TALK to him, but he refuses, and last I heard from him, I asked if he wanted me out of his life forever and he said yes. So I've respected that and not said a word to him since. He hasn't contacted me at all either. I just want to talk, not about us or anything because I don't want to get back together, but I miss having him in my life! Will I be able to say something to him as more time passes? Or should I just never say anything to him, ever? I don't understand why he acts like he hates me when he's the one who dumped me. It's weird for me to understand someone's capability to cut someone they cared for out of their life for good. With ease. I miss my best friend. A friend and I were talking last night, and realized that I'm the only person either of us know who haven't talked to, or heard from, their ex after the breakup. (And haven't been allowed to really). I guess I just still hope we'll be able to be amicable soon, but he definitely wants nothing to do with me. Link to post Share on other sites
heatherb16 Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 If you feel as if you are completely over him, then go for it, if it feels right. If you are pretty sure that he is going to be rude when you finally contact him, then what's the point? I know what you mean. You miss having him in your life, and although you are over him, as far as the relationship goes, you still want your best friend back. Maybe when he has enough time he will want to restart a friendship, as well.. It's what we all hope for, right? But just like a relationship, it takes both parties to work together, not just one. It needs to be something that you BOTH want. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Giha Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 My situation is different, but I know where you're coming from. It's hard to cut someone so important from your life, and it must be hard to know that he wants nothing to do with you. (my ex said she will never cut me off her life, saying I was the closest person to her but if I feel like I need a break, she will respect that. Obviously thats a lie and she couldn't care less about it, so I can understand your pain) If he wants nothing to do with you, then you should respect that. I think it is also will be best for you to keep NC for now. I know how that urge feels, not a day passes by without wishing I could talk to her, but that would be bad for me. Maybe as time passes he will be ready to talk to you, but until then - I say you should respect his will Link to post Share on other sites
Author t0ri Posted July 11, 2009 Author Share Posted July 11, 2009 I definitely plan on keeping NC. I don't plan on talking to him for the rest of the year, if ever. But I'm just wondering if I'll ever be able to say anything to him, or if it's better to forever say nothing. I mean, how will I know when he'd respond in an amicable manner? If he did want to talk to me eventually, I don't know if he'd make the first move to do so because of his pride. But why does he not want me in his life whatsoever anymore? Knowing him, and our past, it's extremely weird to me that he doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 YEah youre like an alcoholic that took the 12 step program and is ready to fall off the wagon. Id wager that your knows that if he gets in contact with you again you wouldnt leave him alone, which hes right, you want him back in your life to talk to, but he doesnt want to have to explain himself to you again. He probably went though this with his ex and knows that cutting you off is the best way to go. Find someone new, move on, this guy is doing you a favor. Where youre weak he is strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Nedved Posted July 12, 2009 Share Posted July 12, 2009 I know how you feel. Its hard to cut somebody completely out of your life no matter how well we're all doing at NC. My ex's sister(stunning looking girl i must admit ) got in touch with me via facebook today and i got a massive urge to conact my ex. I can't though as it dose us no good in the long run. I agree with boogieboy. D'ont contact him. Move on and forget him. If he refuses to talk to you it'l just make you angry and you'l end up back at square one again. Link to post Share on other sites
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