Road To Joy Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I feel... weird. Hopeless. Like life is so negative, and filled with pain. I know it is, but gosh. My head hurts Sometimes I really don't want to live through all of life's 'obstacles'. I just want to stop hurting. I know it's never coming back, she's never coming back, and truth is I'll most likely never speak to her again. I don't want to think about her anymore. I don't want to wonder where she is. I don't want to wonder who she's with. I don't want to wonder what she's doing. I don't want to wonder what she's thinking. I don't want to wonder what she's feeling. I don't want to wonder what she thought back then. I don't want to wonder what she felt back then. I don't want to wonder if this will ever end. I don't want to wonder when this will end. I don't want to want her anymore, mainly because I don't want to want her. She's such a horrible person, why do I want her? Ugh. I'm far, far, far too young to be going through this. And it's weird how all of this makes you think about other stuff in the past, not just your time spent with them. But also friends you've lost, people you've never heard from again, old memories. IT'S NOT COMING BACK, I KNOW. So why can't it just leave me alone? sigh. rant over. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 I read you. Big hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
asuman Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Visualize the point you reach where all those things will be true, because I guarantee you they will be. You'll get there. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 You'll live through this and yes, it hurts like a b*stard. You will not think about her, one day, really, and then you'll wonder why you ever gave a dang. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Road To Joy Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 I read you. Big hugs. Hugs appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Road To Joy Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Visualize the point you reach where all those things will be true, because I guarantee you they will be. You'll get there. Gosh, that point seems so impossible (for lack of a better word), or unreachable. But I'm trusting you, don't let me down. Visualizing it, though... feels so freeing and liberating! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Road To Joy Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 you'll wonder why you ever gave a dang. This is one of my dreams. No joke, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Road To Joy Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Update I posted this thread a little over 4 hours ago, I believe. And I feel better. Lol. For no reason, really. I guess I was just having a down moment. I get those a lot... but they go away as quickly as they come. Which most people would consider me lucky for but believe me, it's overwhelming. I know most likely that wasn't the last 'down' moment I'll have. But ehh, I'll worry about that when it's back. As for right now, at this moment, 2 in the morning, I'm going to go to bed and enjoy my few moments of contentment until that ol' witch comes to back to mentally haunt me. This whole thing has been 95% ranting on my part. Whew, at least it's helped some. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts