violeta09 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 :rolleyes:10 days ago I told the guy I'm in love with goodbye. He wanted sex with no feeling. He couldn't even fake affection for the 10 or 15 mins he spends with me. He refuses to discuss anything. In the past he said he loved me and demonstrated it but now its different. At least a prostitute gets money. I gave him my heart and body and didn't get much back. Even sexually he has changed. Before even though I felt like crap when he left, I endured hopeing that if I loved him enough eventually I would get what I need. Finally I grew a pair and put my foot down. I told him that if we can't even discuss it perhaps we should part ways. I have always been so strong in these matters but this guy has gotton away with things I never allowed before. Thats why I felt like dirt after he would leave. Everything was always his way. I still love him and if he would change I would take him back. However theres more chance of me taking a trip to mars. Now its my way or the highway. He is such a fool! I would have loved him like nobodys business... his choice. I'm learning to move on. I'm grateful for this forum in order to help me vent. Its great therapy...... Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 :rolleyes:10 days ago I told the guy I'm in love with goodbye. He wanted sex with no feeling. He couldn't even fake affection for the 10 or 15 mins he spends with me. Good for you. He sounds very self centered and selfish IMO. So, your are better off without him. Everything was always his way.I still love him and if he would change I would take him back. However theres more chance of me taking a trip to mars. Now its my way or the highway. He is such a fool! I would have loved him like nobodys business... his choice. I'm learning to move on. I'm grateful for this forum in order to help me vent. Its great therapy...... Again more proof of his selfishness. The likely hood of him changing is slim. So, if I were you I would not waste your time. I know this may hurt right now, but you will be better off. Just stay strong and keep up with No contact. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 thanks for all your input. Even though it hurts I feel good that I'm standing up for myself. doing the right thing isn't always the easiest way. I firmly believe everyone that touches your life good or not is for a higher purpose. I know that someday down the line it won't hurt so much. love isn't suppose to hurt and that was my cue to get out. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 no one knows I'm hurting ans I'm a pretty upbeat person. I love smiling and extending some joy to others. I'm not the dark, lock myself away depressive type. Always see my glass as hlf full. I am blessed in so many ways. I will overcome..... Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Violet, It sounds like you have a great out look on things that's so nice to see. One day this will all be water under the bridge Keep your good spirts up. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 well, good for you. I know how it feels to be in a one sided relationship. I too had to walk away. I too was very in love. But if you think about it....in love with what!?!?...It it so disgusting and the truth is you let me treat you that way. We both did. So he has no reason to change. He is happy and getting everything he wants. Why should he change? I mean think about it. I had to finally just go. It has been 5 days but our relationship has been for 4 years. I have been too giving, too nice, too accommodating, too available, not enough boundaries. Just too...tooo. So I think you need to check yourself. I am where you are so I have to take responsibility too. Im not saying it is all your fault but you cant let a man get away with mistreating you. It is not good for you or him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 thanks for sharing. it makes me feel I'm not alone. Sorry you are hurting. Maybe we can help each other. Mondays were our meeting days so today is alittle challenging. I know I made it super easy for him,,,always. Usually and in the past I never allowed anyone to get away with so much. I played with fire, in this case a married man, and got burned. He did do me a favor however. Before him I was asleep inside. My sex drive I mean. I've been married for a long time. Love him but not IN LOVE... He is a good guy but so many things happened over the years that we were more like friends, no spark or sizzle. Enter this new man and the engines were turned on. Now that he is gone I use that with the hubby. Not nearly as good but it gets me by and hubby is smiling. Its like I started not liking how my husband smelled, talked and the sound of his voice annoyed me. The other guy was the opposite. The sound of his voice his smell hw he tastes is what I loved the most. I never was the type who believes in cheating. I know its never the solution. I also believe in karma . So,,, I must look forward. Thank God for forums like these in which we can all share and perhaps purge our pain.. One day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
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