i cant handle it at times.. trying to be positive..

[eske]

Hi,

 

I officialy split with my ex some 17 days back.. I call it official because it was a mutual break up with no arguments at all and we have no bitter feelings for each other ,infact we wish very good for each other.

 

We decided that we cannot take our relationship to the next level long time

back and then we tried to keep our friendhip and i GUESS we succeeded.

 

Now i haven spoken to her for past 17 days.. we have gone for NC now.

She got married(15days back) and i told her that its best that we stay away from each other so that she forgets me and starts her new life i think its the best for us. i do not want any residual feelings to remain in her heart or mine.

 

The above was just a background.its just been some 17 days since NC. there are days when i feel very sad because i miss a good friend in her.I used to share all problems with her.I am very happy for her but i feel lonely for myself.

 

Apart from this prolonged breakup things,other things are also not going very smooth for me. I am struggling in these economic condition to get a good job even though i am well qualified and i am not abe to share all this with

any1. I do not want to tell my family about this condition because they will get worried(I stay far away from them).

 

I am feeling very lonely. I feel like crying even wen i am amongst lots of people around me.I sincerely try to talk to a lot of people, keep myself busy, smile even wen i feel like crying on the inside.I really do try to keep a very positive outlook but at times i just want to vent out whatever i have in my mind..

 

I guess all this is a normal way for a person to react.. but this NC(breakup) along with the brunt of the economic condition breaks me apart at times.I just want assurance that i am doing well and am normal..

 

I am a grown up guy but i need to cry at times. Maybe i would have been better if she would have been there as a friend so that she could support me.Maybe yes maybe no. This is something that i also dont know.

 

I hope i do well..