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So frustrated with myself!!


melissa123

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Hey all.

 

It had been a month since my ex and I split.

I was on here almost straight away and followed every piece of advice, I did not beg or plead and I went NC right from day one.

 

Well its been a month and im starting to get really frustrated with myself.

Im just not moving on.

I know its normal to miss someone and hurt for a while after they are gone, but I seem to be taking it to extremes.

I wake up every morning wishing I hadn't and I still wander round everyday with real physical pain in my heart.

I miss him more and more every day and the urge to talk seems to get greater not less!

 

Im am so frustrated with myself. He didn't treat me well at all and I HAD to walk away.

I thought I was doing the right thing and I would walk away ok but it seems to be the opposite.

 

I WANT to get over him and I WANT to move on but I just cant seem to be able to and its frustrating me so much!

 

Is it still normal to feel this way?

I can assure that I am really trying to move on with my life but these feelings inside me just wont go away.

Will they in time?

 

I guess for the first two or so weeks, although we had broken up, in the back of my mind I keep thinking maybe he will come to his senses and aplolgise for all he did and ask to try again. I also think it was hard to really miss him as he had been gone only two weeks.

 

Now its been a month and I know now he will not apologise and ask to work things out, he would have done so by now. I miss him more and more as he has been away for a month now :(

 

Will I continue to feel worse and miss him even more as time goes on or will it be ok eventually?

Is there anything I can do to help these feelings?

 

Thanks heaps for reading!

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its completely normal darlin'

good on you for realising you werent being treated right & for having the guts and self respect to walk away. wow. so you need to be congratulating not berating yourself.

time time time is the healer. sucks right? but its true.

everyone rides it differently. I have good and bad and bad and bad days :p but thats me.

we've gotta believe its gonna get better & tonight I even found myself gettin a little excited about meeting the guy whos gonna love care and respect me the way I did that other 'problem' so its another step forward. tiny but in the right direction.

take your time do what feels right for you & dont measure your grieving by others experiences, "if God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it."

not very wise am I? just hope that even a response will let you know theres people out there who care & we're all in this together!

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Thanks openbook

 

That was a really nice reply :) Just what I needed!

 

Actually I didnt really have the guts to walk away! I let him carry on treating me like dirt for about two months before I rung and asked if he would try a bit harder to talk to me (he was ignoring me for days and days on end). He said no and he ended it there. I wish I could say I did all the dumping and didn't put up with his treatment but unfortunatly its the opposite!! (he even rung all our mutal friends the second we hung up to tell them he dumped me!!)

 

Its good to know in time I will be able to move on and get him off my mind all together! I get frustrated as I have friends who can bounce back within days of serious relationships ending and not get really down like me.

My bestfriend moved across the world for her bf of 5 years and when she got there he dumped her. She was simply like 'ok whatever' and had a new bf a week later.

 

I have a lot of friends like that actually and its just so frustratiing that I take so long to bounce back. I get really really down when relationships fail and I wish I could bounce back and be happy like everyone else seems to! Is this a lack of self confidence?

 

Anyway thanks again, your reply was much appreciated!

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hi melissa! who are these "bounce back" people?? theyre either extremely lucky to be able to switch off like that or extremely good at being able to pretend to switch off like that!

well I let my ex treat me pretty dismal too so youre not alone there. and I gave him a 2nd chance except I ended up making all the effort again & I really fought for our love but I let it get too far.

I still miss him, sure. Its gonna be a rollercoaster but I feel all this pain will be worth it in the end. strange theory I know!! but Ive found the whole experience is making me stronger as a person. You mentioned self esteem...youre gonna go on such a journey now melissa. ironically Ive found my self esteem improving and improving ( & its got nothin to do with how much or how little Ive cried/missed him/loved him) cos Im not relying on some halfwit to give it to me! IM giving it to me!and its weird cos with him I never thought I was good enough, that people were looking at him,then me and wonderin what is he doing with her. Now Im no super hot fox but Im putting myself first now & you know what its working. slowly but surely Im liking myself & believing that I am good enough.

can you take up some new hobbies?? Ive been walking a lot, visiting old friends, reading some great books, taking some new classes. anything to keep my mind busy!!

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