alwayssme Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Hey everyone... Okay I could REALLYYY use some advice from you guys. I have a couple of questions..First I was wondering what exactly is "depression"...Is it people who are just depressed for no reason and enjoy nothing? Or can a broken hearted person be "depressed" or just simply broken hearted? Now here is my issue...*sigh* Typical story (as I have wrote many posts on here) First love, best friend for so long, I connected with him in an emotional/physical level like I never have with nobody. When I think of how we used to be it makes no sense to me how easy he moved on, but I know things like this happen. So I try to use logic and tell myself to move on. It works for a day or two, then I'll remember "hes gone forever" and I cry HISTERICALLY. I cant seem to accept the idea that I'll never kiss him, talk to him, see him, have sex with him,cuddle wit him...that HE'S GONE!! i love him tooo much, it literally hurts to live without him, not to sound dramatic.. It's truly torturing me. Especially when I remember how much love there was between us...and for me it only grew more while for him it completely went away. at first it hurt him ALOT to walk away, after a month and half HE HAD MOVED ON...while I STILL haven't. Now here is my question...if it is truly making me miserable living without him, what the hell can i do? one minute im okay, then the next im all depressed...it has been 4 months!!!!!! *sigh* i want to call him to talk to him and tell him i want to be friends but for some reason im terrified to dial his number...its almost physically impossible for me to call or text him..im afraid he wont reply or pick up..or if he does im afraid he'll be cold or say something like "i dont think we should be friends"...its weird because we left everything off on good terms and he said "i'll always be in your life you mean alot to me" but he hasnt called me at all in almost a month now...and neither have I...and I KNOW he is not going to call.... Basically I'm hurting because i feel that we are going to become strangers and not be able to have a friendship i dont know if i should take the risk of calling him or just watch us become strangers and endure this pain...advice??? Link to post Share on other sites
lofi_tokyo Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Always, it truly sounds like your ex cares about you, but is no longer "in love" with you. That is why he said you'll always be a part of his life. You will be. I know several people that have parted with their first loves, whom they were incredibly close to, and continue to keep contact with their exs. The thing is, they only talk about once a month, or less even. Life just gets in the way. They still care about the person, but yeah! Life. So I think you and your ex will talk again someday. Right now isn't the time though - you're healing, and talking to him would only hurt you more, and make things awkward for him. As the months or even years pass, you will talk again I am sure. As for your feelings of depression, that is completely normal. In fact, it could be a good sign - thats the 4th out of 5 stages of grieving. Maybe you're closer than you think to being over the guy. I went through a solid week a few weeks ago where I couldn't even stand up without collapsing in tears. I felt so weak, so hopeless. I made it out, and so will you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alwayssme Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 tokyo, thank u so much i really needed to hear that.. i guess what im afraid of is months passing by and me really feeling the urge to contact him but then it would be too weird..or is months/years pass and i want to be him friend..and he'll be like "what the hell? u still think about me?" that type of thing...i truly want to contact him and let him know i care for him and want to be his friend (i already have told him that) but that right now i just want to be away from him to heal and then later on i'll get in touch...yet i dont want to contact him because i think it would only hurt me more. ArghhhH!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author alwayssme Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 i mean after i have healed how will i get the courage to call him? it would be like calling a stranger and thats what i want to avoid...i want to call him but sometimes he acts sooo cold, it makes me wish i would ahve cut my fingers before dialing him...lol...im confused i dont even know if he cares about me anymore... and thats really hurting me..not just that hes not "in love" anymore but that he doesnt even want me in his life like that Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 I bet if you called him, he would be glad to hear from you because it has been so long. But the true problem is that you are not ready. Until you are better, you need to not contact him. Then you wont get your feelings hurt. Men can sense when we are still into them especially when they dont want us to be. YOu want to totally be yourself by the time you guys talk again. It will be much better then. The flip side could be too that you call and you have a great conversation and all and then your feelings get stronger and you want more and more. I just dont think now is the time still Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts