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Any underlying messages in this?


symba

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Hello all, I'm new to this and love the advice I've seen so I decided to give this a shot. My ex and I were together (living) for the past two years. He was deployed for his job for two months (feb.-apr.) overseas and when he came home things were not the same at all. I tried to understand and be there but he shut me out, we broke up and I moved out. We tried the friend thing for a month, but I couldn't deal with it. I ended up saying I couldn't do the friend thing anymore and he sent me a text saying I was all he ever wanted, but that he didn't want me to repsond to that comment. So I respected that. Sent him a card in June(was not mushy at all), but he never responded.

 

So in July I realized that all my winter jackets, among other things were still at the house. I proceeded to send an email July 21 saying that he could ship them to me and I would even give him a fed-ex number or get the things picked up which ever would have been easier for him. He finally responded on Sept 1 saying that he was sorry it took him so long to respond, he wasn't ready to communicate with me and that he had just left again and will not be home until the middle of October and if I need my things before then I can let him know and he will make arrangements to have them given to me.

 

I guess I am having a hard time because I tried to make this easy and he could have gotten my things together originally when I asked for them, is he asking me to wait for him to get home because he possibly wants to see me? I don't even know why he is away again unless he volunteered to go to get away from things because he was not the next in rotation to leave. I am still in love with him and I'd give anything to get this worked out...

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

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In response to your title - yes there could be underlying messages, but then again, there may not be and it could be that you want there to be underlying messages because you still love him.

 

It was a bit selfish (maybe even a deliberate contradiction?) of him to send a text saying you were 'all he ever wanted' and then asking you not to respond to his comment. If you are all he ever wanted, why not work things out? Did he really want you to respond but you called his bluff and didn't and hurt his feelings?

 

As for not replying to your July email until September because he wasn't 'ready to communicate' - that was a bit immature, he didn't really need to communicate all he needed to do was send your things on to you. Maybe he was buying some time?

 

I really don't know what this guy is thinking. If you still love him and want to try again you need to tell him straight and he needs to be straight in his response so that you can get on with your life either way. You can't sit around waiting for him, harsh as that sounds (and believe me I know as I've been there). You need to ask him where you stand and then take it from there. Can you get in contact with him now before he is home in October?X

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mollers thanks for the response. There is no other way of contacting him right now besides via email. I sent one and said I'd like to see u when u get back and if that's not possible, I respect that, and the arrangements will need to be made to get my things while you are gone.

 

I kind of left it up to him, without being so direct. I guess time will tell at this point. I sent the email about 5 days ago...not ecpecting an answer so soon...it only took him 6 weeks to answer the other one, LOL...

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