ianandris Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 So, I broke NC with my ex just a bit ago. Partly in an attempt to get my dvds back, partly because I'm curious about what she's been up to for the past 4 months. Her facebook has been dead for ages, then a few days ago she pops on updates a bunch. This makes me curious, I use it as a segway to open up a convo, try to feel out whether friendship is a possibility. What follows are texts, verbatim: Me: Hey! Just noticed you came alive on facebook the other day, and I realized I haven't seen you or heard from you at all in, like, 4 months. How are things? Her: Things are good. How are things with you? Me: Not too bad. Same old same old. Just finished summer semester, waiting for fall to start. Trying to stay busy. What have you been up to? What's new? Her: Not a ton. Working nights. Got a car. Been traveling a lot. Seeing someone. Life's been good. Me: cool. I figured you'd end up getting a car sooner rather than later. Been doing a bit of traveling myself. Finally made it out to Vegas so how long have you been with the new guy? Is he treating you right? Her: About a month. And yeah. He treats me like a queen. Me: Good I know I don't need to, but I'll say it anyway; take it slow with this one. So, are you still living around here? I'd like to get my dvds back from you one of these days. I've been itching for some arrested development lately. If you could drop them off sometime, I'd appreciate it. Oh,m and would you mind sending me the recipe for that tuna fish you made that one day? The flavors had a lasting impact Her: Yeah. No problem. ............ And that's where things sit right now. I'm actually a bit peeved. The fact that she has a new boyfriend doesn't bother me at all. Couldn't care less. It's the obvious lack of interest she showed in me that right pisses me off. I mean, I'm excited to hear from people I haven't heard from in a while even if I didn't like them. She didn't even fake it. Glib answers, no attempt at friendly banter. Nothing. This is a girl who four months ago professed undying love to me and wanted to get married. My last text was three pages. She responded with three words. I mean, wtf? I wrote this one, haven't sent it, would like to know if you think it's a good idea for me to send it, or if I should just delete it: me: Wow. You sure are talkative. Not even an attempt at friendly banter. Look, just drop those dvds by, and you won't have to be burdened with me again. I'll be at drill tomorrow, so if you want to swing them by in the morning, I'll be gone. You can leave them by the door. It's been real. Link to post Share on other sites
pandagirl Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Don't send it! You sound bitter and angry. Don't give her that satisfaction. If you want your DVDs back, just keep it short: Do you think I could get those DVDs back? You can just leave them by the door -- that'd be great. Link to post Share on other sites
replicator Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 I wouldn't send that text, because it sounds like you're real bitter about it. To be honest, i wouldn't allow yourself to be seen like you're hurt by her indifference. If you want your dvd's back, just message her telling her that you won't be home tomorrow so if she wants to drop them off then, you'd appreciate it. Nice and simple. Not worth your time to spend your energy over this - all done and over with, let her see you as someone who has moved on as well. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 So, I broke NC with my ex just a bit ago. Partly in an attempt to get my dvds back, partly because I'm curious about what she's been up to for the past 4 months. Her facebook has been dead for ages, then a few days ago she pops on updates a bunch. This makes me curious, I use it as a segway to open up a convo, try to feel out whether friendship is a possibility. What follows are texts, verbatim: Me: Hey! Just noticed you came alive on facebook the other day, and I realized I haven't seen you or heard from you at all in, like, 4 months. How are things? Her: Things are good. How are things with you? Me: Not too bad. Same old same old. Just finished summer semester, waiting for fall to start. Trying to stay busy. What have you been up to? What's new? Her: Not a ton. Working nights. Got a car. Been traveling a lot. Seeing someone. Life's been good. Me: cool. I figured you'd end up getting a car sooner rather than later. Been doing a bit of traveling myself. Finally made it out to Vegas so how long have you been with the new guy? Is he treating you right? Her: About a month. And yeah. He treats me like a queen. Me: Good I know I don't need to, but I'll say it anyway; take it slow with this one. So, are you still living around here? I'd like to get my dvds back from you one of these days. I've been itching for some arrested development lately. If you could drop them off sometime, I'd appreciate it. Oh,m and would you mind sending me the recipe for that tuna fish you made that one day? The flavors had a lasting impact Her: Yeah. No problem. ............ And that's where things sit right now. I'm actually a bit peeved. The fact that she has a new boyfriend doesn't bother me at all. Couldn't care less. It's the obvious lack of interest she showed in me that right pisses me off. I mean, I'm excited to hear from people I haven't heard from in a while even if I didn't like them. She didn't even fake it. Glib answers, no attempt at friendly banter. Nothing. This is a girl who four months ago professed undying love to me and wanted to get married. My last text was three pages. She responded with three words. I mean, wtf? I wrote this one, haven't sent it, would like to know if you think it's a good idea for me to send it, or if I should just delete it: me: Wow. You sure are talkative. Not even an attempt at friendly banter. Look, just drop those dvds by, and you won't have to be burdened with me again. I'll be at drill tomorrow, so if you want to swing them by in the morning, I'll be gone. You can leave them by the door. It's been real. Don't send that mate. It sounds angry. Honestly, at this point, losing a DVD is worth not having to chase her around and put up with her indifference. There are often casualities of war (relationship breakups) and sometimes it's worth just to walk away and not try and chase down things and put up with the annoyance of exchanges with ex's. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ianandris Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 Well, I AM bitter and angry. I hate being treated with disrepect, contempt, or indifference. Especially from someone who I almost married. That's what stings. Whatever. Let God judge between me and her and reward her according to her deeds. This is what I sent instead: Me: cool. I think you've got machiavelli's the prince over there too (picked it up at a thrift store). I'll be gone tomorrow, but you could leave them by the door with that recipe. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
tealeafbud Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 ianandris. don't send that text. please. And don't be pissed. Life is too short. I know it's easier said than done, but just try and get over it. Kiss those DVD's goodbye. Just like I've kissed some possessions of mine goodbye and farewell. They are only material things. the one thing you do want to keep is your dignity and self worth. Look, she already sounded annoyed by your contact. I probably would respond the same way if my ex texted me. it's nothing personal. She's seeing someone. And no offense, but she'd rather not hear from you. She probably didn't want to respond anyway, but did so to be courteous. Sorry to be blunt, but it's just my interpretation from the texts. Link to post Share on other sites
citizen67 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Good decision. I hate it when I am in touch with people and I express polite interest in them, and they don't even pretend to be interested in return. She sounds self-absorbed. You are better off w/out her Link to post Share on other sites
Author ianandris Posted August 20, 2008 Author Share Posted August 20, 2008 Good decision. I hate it when I am in touch with people and I express polite interest in them, and they don't even pretend to be interested in return. She sounds self-absorbed. You are better off w/out her Agreed. DEFINITELY self absorbed, but not overtly so, which makes it much worse, imo. She's officially written off. She committed to dropping my stuff off by the end of the week and I'm pretty damn certain I won't have any contact with her in the future. I'm actually thinking about dropping her from my facebook and myspace, the whole nine. Just deleted all the pics I had of her in my phone. I'm about to do the same with my comp. No reason to keep them. I'll hold on to her number, just in case, but this chapter of my life is officially closed. Link to post Share on other sites
sultry33 Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 Agreed. DEFINITELY self absorbed, but not overtly so, which makes it much worse, imo. She's officially written off. She committed to dropping my stuff off by the end of the week and I'm pretty damn certain I won't have any contact with her in the future. I'm actually thinking about dropping her from my facebook and myspace, the whole nine. Just deleted all the pics I had of her in my phone. I'm about to do the same with my comp. No reason to keep them. I'll hold on to her number, just in case, but this chapter of my life is officially closed. sometimes asking the questions gives us answers we dont want to hear.. but these answers will help to move on.. so close the chapter and in time you will feel better, dont dwell over dvds hugs to you x you can do better Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 And that's where things sit right now. I'm actually a bit peeved. The fact that she has a new boyfriend doesn't bother me at all. Couldn't care less. It's the obvious lack of interest she showed in me that right pisses me off. I mean, I'm excited to hear from people I haven't heard from in a while even if I didn't like them. She didn't even fake it. Glib answers, no attempt at friendly banter. Nothing. This is a girl who four months ago professed undying love to me and wanted to get married. My last text was three pages. She responded with three words. I mean, wtf? . I have been broken up with my ex for 6 months now. She burned me good. I was terrible for the first month. I was watching the olympic ceromony and decided to txt her like you did. Like 3 pages of friendly convo and reminding her to watch the opening ceromiones. She responds with 3-5 words saying "the chinese did a great job,goodnight" no "how are you " or nothing I feel you on getting excited talking to old friends even if there was bad blood . I know for a fact I dont want a relationship but to not be acknowledged after 7 years I devoted to her:confused: Its terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 This just goes to show that Nc, should remain Nc until you are fully healed and ready to take that step and not be acknowledged like you think you should be!! NC NC NC NC!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Wareagle, you are absolutely right. Link to post Share on other sites
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