Zal2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Hello, I am new to this board. Glad to be here. I wanted to hear your opinions on why my ex-boyfriend sent me an invitation to his wedding. Here's some context: He is 38 years old and lives in the Middle East. I am 30 and live in North America. We met 6 years ago and very quickly got into a serious relationship (we talked about marriage). The relationship was extremely romantic but dysfunctional. We were together for only 6 months. We broke up for the following reasons: 1) he had to go back to his home country and I wouldn't go with him 2) I wanted him to convert to my faith but he wouldn't. I couldn't live with the differences in our religions During the 6 years after he left for the Middle East, we contacted each other several times through email or phone to gauge if the other wanted to rekindle the relationship. Each time we would start communicating, our old issues would quickly rise to the surface and we'd end up not speaking again. Each subsequent breakup was more painful than the last. Last September, I was feeling extremely sad about losing him and regretful about some things I had said during the last time he wanted to reconcile (which was 10 months ago), so I emailed him. In my email I asked him if he was seeing anyone. I told him how sorry I was for the things I said, and that I wish for him to be happy in life. He wrote back saying that he was engaged and that he hopes I find someone with the qualities I am looking for in a partner. He also said "it's hard to find good people in life, but it is easy to lose them." I wrote back again saying how sorry I was to have bothered him and wished him and his new partner all the best. He wrote back saying don't be sorry, that he would be happy to stay friends etc. But I never responded. Seven months later I received an email invitation to his wedding. There were 10 other people on the email list. I want to know what possessed him to do this. There is no way he thought I would be happy to receive an invitation to his wedding, or that I would even attend. So why did he do this? I responded to the invite saying, simply, that I would not be in the Middle East during the month of May, sent him my regrets and thanked him for the invitation. He wrote back saying thank you for your response and said a phrase in his language which means "may the same happiness come unto you." Opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I would take it as a non-confrontational way of letting you know it won't be appropriate to email him anymore if the only contact you want to have is re-hashing the past. AND/OR He did it to rub your nose in it. You know the guy IRL so which ever option you feel he was most motivated by is probably the right one. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 people usually do this kind of thing to let you know they've moved on. Sometimes, it's because they want to be jackasses, but more often, it's just to let you know what's going on in their lives. And a bit of hope that you could find it in your heart to be happy for them ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zal2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Author Share Posted July 16, 2008 If his intent was to rub my nose in it, doesn't that indicate that he isn't happy in his new relationship and is bitter about things not working out between us? Something I forgot to mention is that when he first told me he was engaged, he told me he would be married before the year's end (2007). So by the time I received his wedding invite (April 2008), I thought he had been married for at least four months. Anyways, it doesn't matter at the end of the day. Moving on is so hard when no one has replaced him. Link to post Share on other sites
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