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Breaking the Cycle


carrie3107

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At the moment the situation between the ex and i is as follows:

 

We dont have contact with each other for about 3 weeks then comes the texts, i end up going over to his we talk and end up having sex. This has been going on for about 5 months now.

 

After the previous contact i initiated no contact, then out of the blue he texts to say that he has sold the car.

 

I contacted him a couple of days later asking why did you text me? and saying that i was shocked that he had emailed me.

 

We met up and drove to Liverpool and Birmingham. During the drive we discussed a number of things. Like why did we keep on coming back to each other.

 

He told me that he was missing me and that he was going to stop being an a@@@@@@e. I told him we need to break this pattern of us just doing bootycalls.

 

As it was so late getting back i stayed at his and yes we had sex again. and yes i know it was a bootycall.

 

We spoke on Sat and sund. Sent him a text on Monday saying that i enjoyed waking up with u and bob cuddling me. It was what i always wantedx but he hasnt replied.

 

So the question is how do i find the strength the next time he calls i turn round and say no and mean no!!!

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At the moment the situation between the ex and i is as follows:

 

We dont have contact with each other for about 3 weeks then comes the texts, i end up going over to his we talk and end up having sex. This has been going on for about 5 months now.

 

After the previous contact i initiated no contact, then out of the blue he texts to say that he has sold the car.

 

I contacted him a couple of days later asking why did you text me? and saying that i was shocked that he had emailed me.

 

We met up and drove to Liverpool and Birmingham. During the drive we discussed a number of things. Like why did we keep on coming back to each other.

 

He told me that he was missing me and that he was going to stop being an a@@@@@@e. I told him we need to break this pattern of us just doing bootycalls.

 

As it was so late getting back i stayed at his and yes we had sex again. and yes i know it was a bootycall.

 

We spoke on Sat and sund. Sent him a text on Monday saying that i enjoyed waking up with u and bob cuddling me. It was what i always wantedx but he hasnt replied.

 

So the question is how do i find the strength the next time he calls i turn round and say no and mean no!!!

when you realise you are worth more hunny.. simple as

 

yeah be great to just have fwb if that is what you want.. but if not stop replying..you know ive been here so can talk from experience..:)

 

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Its not what i want. (FBW)

 

The thing is that when other lads come and talk to me i know what they are after and always refuse. Same with the ex but i always end up back in the sack. Probably cause i dont believe hes really just an a@@@@@e. Were as the lads who i met on a night out i allready know what they are after.

 

I dont feel ashamed about the bootycall, just feel ashamed that i fall for the pre mind games before hand!!! (like i miss you, if i wanted sex i could get sex but i want you)

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Its not what i want. (FBW)

 

The thing is that when other lads come and talk to me i know what they are after and always refuse. Same with the ex but i always end up back in the sack. Probably cause i dont believe hes really just an a@@@@@e. Were as the lads who i met on a night out i allready know what they are after.

 

I dont feel ashamed about the bootycall, just feel ashamed that i fall for the pre mind games before hand!!! (like i miss you, if i wanted sex i could get sex but i want you)

 

you just need to do what makes you happy.. if he is somewhat up an down in responding maybe you are expecting too much.. maybe he is keeping things cool..

sometimes a hard habbit to break.. and is familiar but you are worth more

 

you are now in the "whats happening stage" uncertainity..

 

for me i needed to know.. ok he choose the other.. but if you push you will get the answer .. but maybe not the one you want

 

i never felt ashamed either.. just felt good at the time but for me it was not enough to just blow his mind for a few hrs..

i missed the relationship more than i missed the booty call

which is why i put myself out of it.. :love:

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Agree with you on the up and down and keeping things cool. Im also keeping my cool (not doing constant text messages and doing the usual sending a text saying this isnt working, your hurting me etc) not going to push this time.

 

But if he texts again then im just going to have to say thanks but i dont need a bootycall.

 

Yes i know im worth more than this.

 

Maybe i just need to pick someone else up and have a one night stand, to get him out of my system. (Not a rebound thing).

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Agree with you on the up and down and keeping things cool. Im also keeping my cool (not doing constant text messages and doing the usual sending a text saying this isnt working, your hurting me etc) not going to push this time.

 

But if he texts again then im just going to have to say thanks but i dont need a bootycall.

 

Yes i know im worth more than this. you sure are:bunny:

Maybe i just need to pick someone else up and have a one night stand, to get him out of my system. (Not a rebound thing).

 

just have safe fun.. sometimes we need a quick fix and being desired is a great feeling.. get some power.. just dont expect too much too soon and be honest with the other person.. if its just a fun thing say it how it is.. then yeah its a rebound thing;)

 

i got chatted up by a guy an his gf.. lol weird:D

not going there though, but was ultra good feeling i can tell you..

my ex has lost one sexy woman:p

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To be honest with you id been fine until he sent that first text about the car.

 

Then im back again at square one!!

 

Apart from that everythings good.

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To be honest with you id been fine until he sent that first text about the car.

 

Then im back again at square one!!

 

Apart from that everythings good.

 

yeah i guess if it seems like he is trying still keep you must be damn hard to not go with it..

 

just be careful.. you gave me great advice carrie.. maybe you need to advise yourself.. i know hard to do..

 

my ex has not done nothing since we decided to go nc.. hurts but its for the best for us:)

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Always good at giving advice but can never listen to my own lol!!!:laugh:
likewise;)

 

you know today.. i have been thinking about someone else non stop..

 

im meeting him for coffee tomorrow.. inbetween both our addresses.. im so nervous and he has called everyday.. he is such a funny guy very fit and caring too... maybe the everything happens for a reason is starting to become clear..

 

im so scared of falling for someone else.. im also a bit shocked.. shocked that you know maybe i didnt love my ex.. that in itself is really hard for me to accept as deep down i feel love for him.. but maybe i always will.

im hoping that i have now accepted it is over and that we gave it our best shot.

 

wish me luck tomorrow..

 

ive been totaly open with the new guy.. said not sure what i want.. he said he would have given same answer.. so slowly it will go.. x

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Always good at giving advice but can never listen to my own lol!!!:laugh:

 

Isn't this the truth! It's been 6 months since my breakup with my ex, 3 months I've been on LS and been giving advice to people. Yet still I don't follow some of the basic principles like not contacting the ex.

 

I know how you feel carrie. It seems that and and your ex are just using each other for sex and possibly missing each other. If you don't officially get back together, it's definitely going to hinder your healing over the relationship. You both need to figure out what you want. It seems maybe that you don't want to face the confusion feelings that you're both having.

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It seems that and and your ex are just using each other for sex and possibly missing each other. If you don't officially get back together, it's definitely going to hinder your healing over the relationship. You both need to figure out what you want. It seems maybe that you don't want to face the confusion feelings that you're both having.

 

Thanks hun. Maybe we are using each other for sex and yeah possibly missing each other. I know i miss him and think of him on a daily basis, but this would happen even if we werent in contact.

 

If he blows hot and cold and i blow hot and cold then all we are going to do is keep going round in this circle until one day one of us turns round and says "i've met someone else and want to give it a go, its been fun"

 

I have met someone else and he says hes interested been out a couple of times, but he hasnt persued it any further. He knows what ive been through to a point but doesnt want to get involved if im still carrying a tourch for the ex. (Which i cant blame him for)

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