xjohnsgirlx Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 ill keep it short and sweet, i left my boyfriend because for months he accused me of cheating on me he controlled my life i was crying every day and i needed to get away i needed space. He begged me to take him back but i refused because all i thought about was how bad he made me feel about myself. He use to say he loved me forever as did i say to him. I found out today he has a new gf and they are already saying they love each other. Theres a pain in me that hurts so bad. Please help me Link to post Share on other sites
Keridan Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I wish there was a magical phrase that would make it all better. Unfortunately, there isn't. I would like to point out that usually a guy says things like that because he is sure you are out of his league. He's insecure and you are too hot/smart/whatever for him. He will be just as controlling with the new girl. You are better off without him, no matter what you feel like right now. It may take him a while, but he will screw that up too. You were strong to get away and you were smart. He will keep tearing down anyone he is with. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know it hurts and you feel lonely and you miss him. It will get better. The best thing you can do is get out there and have fun. Go out with friends, flirt with someone (just for funsies), and do whatever you enjoy. You can't sit and dwell on things. That will just make you feel worse. Being alone when sad = bad. I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xjohnsgirlx Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 Its been a bit over a month since it was formally over and i have seen a friend been out a lil and i can get really happy but then something just pulls me down again. I have been talking to guys but its not the same i cant be sweet to them i cant picture them with me ... i just think about my x but i dont want that ... im so scared... after i left he made it his mission to ruin my life .. i lost alot of friends because he made up storys to them, he smashed my car window, he had people ring my phone and leave threats. I was and still am scared to even walk out of my house. Link to post Share on other sites
Keridan Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Wow ... that is a very big jackass you are dealing with. Did you talk to the police about his harassment? It definately qualifies and you could get a restraining order... Again, I'm sorry for what you are going through. It's incredibly hard to deal with a normal break-up. This goes beyond that. You are best off to avoid him and keep going out with your friends. The emotional ups and downs will be around for a while. You've experienced a loss. Even if you are better off, the way you spent your time and your life is drastically changed against your will. I do promise you will be able to see yourself with someone else. You will be able to have a good time and not even think about him. Unfortunately, that can take time, but it will happen. I still wish I had magic words. I hope things get better for you! Please try to have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xjohnsgirlx Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 i spent hours at the cop place... i had to go to court to get a restraining order but they suggested not to, that it wasnt that bad. The copied all the sms's and voice mails from my phone but they cudnt do anything about it ... well thats what they say ... it just feels as though my whole life has ended up like this .... its like im the bad one cause i left and im just so sad... i know that one day i will be okay but this was the most serious rel i have ever had .. we lived together spent every min together cept when i was at work. Maybe im just over reacting? .. your words help me so much its like you know exactly how i feel Link to post Share on other sites
MalachiX Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Look, you know he made you feel like crap. You know deep down that you don't REALLY want him back. It hurts now, and it's gonna hurt for a while but you just have to weather the storm. The thing to remember is that this relationship wasn't good for you. Don't hide form the pain but don't dwell on it. Cry when you need to cry. Be alone when you need to be alone. But, above all, focus on you right now. Take some time to re-discover the person you were before the relationship. Take the time do build yourself back up and be a better person than you were before you even met this guy. Take the time to hang out with friends, take risks you wouldn't have in the past, and just live for you for a while. It's still gonna hurt. It's not going to be easy. But I think you'll find that you'll end up a much stronger person than you were before all this. I did at least. Link to post Share on other sites
CandyGirlXO Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Wow thats funny sounds like my EX and his name was John too. I broke up with him also for the same reasons as you, but it hurts me too. I think he brought me down all the time because he was insecure with himself. After we broke up thats what he told me. I miss him all the time, and I am trying to get up enough strength to keep moving forward. You are not alone, I am sorry you are going through this too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xjohnsgirlx Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 That is so wierd ! he was very insecure about himself... but i just made it my like job to show him he didnt have to be like that .. sometimes i could make him really happy but others ...especially when i was at work away from him ... he wud be very insecure and verbally abuse me and say i was cheating on him and say his sorry all the time and blame it on his last gf cheating on him? which i now dont believe is true ... got to the point where i couldnt handle it .. and now i just feel sorry for this new gf .. shes much younger then me and she really doesnt no what shes in for. I know i can make it through this now .. its just sooo hard sometimes knowing i gave him everything i possibly could and to him it ment nothing. One day ill find the perfect guy who appreciates what i do =) Link to post Share on other sites
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