NowWhat Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 (edited) I've been upset over my gf going back to her abusive ex and I've been spending my time totally self absorbed with my heartache - not able to think of much else. That is, until yesterday when my best friend for over 15years called me in hysterics because she'd just found her husband dead in their foyer. He'd hung himself off the staircase just two days after they finally decided to get a divorce. I'll spare you the horrific experience my friend is going through right now but suffice to say that the trauma she has experienced will haunt her for the rest of her life. She will never be the same. I had the awful job of calling this man's sister to let her know what had happened to her brother and the screams of this woman for her lost brother will be something I never forget. To her and to his two teenage children, it didn't matter that he wasn't a perfect husband. It didn't matter to them that he'd made mistakes in love. They loved him and now he is gone because he simply could not find the stregnth to cope with what he felt was his failure as a person. My hope is that anyone out there who feels they cannot go on because of a lost love will read this and make the choice to reach out for help. A change in perspective could have saved this man's life if only he'd realized that he was worthy. Sometimes, we can get so lost in our own deluded thoughts that we can't see the big picture. Sure, I'm still hurting and I miss my ex like crazy but I know there is more to life than romantic love and there is so much more to me than this pain I feel over losing her. My thoughts are with all of you who feel lost, rejected and hopeless. We are worthy of love and the most important love is the kind we give ourselves. No matter how flawed or damaged you are (or think you are), don't abandon yourself just because someone else does. Edited January 3, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Seperated paragraph into smaller readable chunks. Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 Well said and I am sorry for your loss. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 What a terrible thing to have happened! Yes, if only he had turned to friends/family/anyone for help! No one is REALLY alone in this world. We all just need to reach out to one another. Like we do here. Your post, however, tragic, sends out a positive message - Hope anyone feeling in despair reads this and gathers strength from it. Life is a gift to be cherished. My most sincere condolences for your loss! Link to post Share on other sites
Florida Posted January 3, 2008 Share Posted January 3, 2008 I can only imagine that the man who hung himself had a lot of anger that he wanted to be seen by his wife as a final memory. I think this is a good reminder that people are not just their relationships, you (generally speaking) are more than your husband, or wife, or children. A lot of people judge themselves by how well their relationship is going, how they are responded to by others, how well liked they are (or aren't) which is why when it turns out bad people hit rock bottom in equal amount to how much esteem they derived from the relationship. This was a good reminder to never give your soul over to something not writ in stone. The only thing you can count on is yourself, so treat yourself well. Because most people probably won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Gentleknight Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 I cried when I read this. I think I understand suicide as I've had a lot of pain/heartbreak, but I also understand the hurt it caues others. As a father of two children, I can't imagine what those children and his family are going through right now. Everyone on this forum has had some low points in their lives but suicide is never the answer for you or the many people in our lives that love us. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted January 4, 2008 Share Posted January 4, 2008 This is so sad. I am sorry for your loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Lee725 Posted January 5, 2008 Share Posted January 5, 2008 It is the people left behind that suffer the most. I am sorry for your loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NowWhat Posted January 5, 2008 Author Share Posted January 5, 2008 Thank you all for your replies. I've been with the family for the past two days and this is my first minute alone. I find myself missing my ex and wanting to call her to let her know what has happened (she has met both wife and husband). However, I know that she is not my friend right now and that talking to her will only hurt so I don't. I have to be at my best right now so I cannot afford to spend any energy on her. Thanks again for the condolences and I wish you all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Always Wrong Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 You are an exceptionally strong person. Your friends are lucky to have you in their lives. I'm so sorry for your loss. Link to post Share on other sites
TheStudent Posted January 6, 2008 Share Posted January 6, 2008 I am sorry for your loss. I will include everyone in my prayers.. I was reading this and i am really getting teary- eyed. I hope you'd stay strong man. Link to post Share on other sites
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