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Unhappy that I'm not Unhappy that I'm Alone


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

 
 
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Old 4th August 2007, 12:55 AM   #1
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Unhappy that I'm not Unhappy that I'm Alone

I feel burnt out and asexual. I rarely feel any attraction for anyone.

I used to hate my life alone. I used to be hard on myself for not having a woman around. Now I feel glad I don't. I can't imagine having a happy relationship, and I don't want an unhappy one. So all my fantasies have been clouded over by reality. The romantic ideals and fantasies that used to be such a turn-on have all occurred repeatedly, and now I know where they lead. Nowhere.

This must be how it ends. You worry and strive, then you wise up and stop caring. Then you fizzle out. In the afterlife, whatever that amounts to, you get to look back at all the wrong turns. And you get to face the irony that you outlived the value of anything you ever did.
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Old 4th August 2007, 12:58 AM   #2
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That's one hell of a bleak post Johan. I'm going to bed.

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Old 4th August 2007, 12:58 AM   #3
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it's really ok to feel at peace without needing someone else to make you feel complete.

i have gotten used to the idea after a 20 year marriage (2 years have passed) - sometimes it feels like freedom...
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Old 4th August 2007, 12:59 AM   #4
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Signs of depression Johan. You get to a point where you have no enthusiasm for anything. And a sense of hopelessness. Just recognize that is what is going on.
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Old 4th August 2007, 1:22 AM   #5
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Maybe that's it. Maybe you have a preference for being alone.

There is much to be said for having personal freedom. You can go to sleep when you want to, do anything you want to at any given time without the unnecessary consideration for anyone else. All you have to worry about is working, eating, sleeping and playing. Not such a bad life, I guess.
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Old 4th August 2007, 1:31 AM   #6
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Signs of depression Johan. You get to a point where you have no enthusiasm for anything. And a sense of hopelessness. Just recognize that is what is going on.
Who said I had no enthusiasm for anything? I'm actually pretty content with things.

My problem is that when I see a woman I'm attracted to, I tell the whole story in my head, all the way to the bitter end. And figure it's better just to move on. I know how relationships go. Why bother making her make me unhappy? Why sign up to disappoint her and/or to be disappointed by her? Don't we both have better things to do?
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Old 4th August 2007, 1:33 AM   #7
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Maybe that's it. Maybe you have a preference for being alone.

There is much to be said for having personal freedom. You can go to sleep when you want to, do anything you want to at any given time without the unnecessary consideration for anyone else. All you have to worry about is working, eating, sleeping and playing. Not such a bad life, I guess.
I actually am happier when I have a woman in my life. For the time when things are good. But they always turn bad. It used to bother me. Now I feel like I've killed every fantasy I had. Now there is nothing to strive for. I've tried it every way, and every way it worked out the same.
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Old 4th August 2007, 1:34 AM   #8
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Maybe you just need a couple of tablespoons of Grove`s Chill Tonic. That will get you back on track
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Old 4th August 2007, 2:54 AM   #9
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This must be how it ends. You worry and strive, then you wise up and stop caring. Then you fizzle out. In the afterlife, whatever that amounts to, you get to look back at all the wrong turns. And you get to face the irony that you outlived the value of anything you ever did.
Hey Johan buddy. Step away from LS for a while. This place can't be helping. It's the epitome of unhappiness and injustice. What you need is a viewing of Caddyshack or something
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Old 4th August 2007, 3:15 AM   #10
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Whe the right woman walks past you, youll forget all you just said and think...hmmm. It will happen when it happens, but for now just do what makes you feel happy. To be happy without some1 else is something that most of us would like. I mean how many here are suffering cos they went into the wrong relationship? Theres nothing like being in a great relationship, but if it goes wrong the pain can be unbearable. But one that is worth the risk i think. What did bob marley say? no woman no cry!! says it all huh!
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Old 4th August 2007, 3:42 AM   #11
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Who said I had no enthusiasm for anything? I'm actually pretty content with things.

My problem is that when I see a woman I'm attracted to, I tell the whole story in my head, all the way to the bitter end. And figure it's better just to move on. I know how relationships go. Why bother making her make me unhappy? Why sign up to disappoint her and/or to be disappointed by her? Don't we both have better things to do?
Yea, this sucks. I know, I do that too. I almost find it refreshing when I really hate the dude (and this is not healthy).

It is a self defeatist attitude. (just a pot calling a kettle) Easier to not act or to only act against yourself. At least you are starting to recognize.

All part of the process.

Just one grilled cheese talking to another. btw, who moved my cheese?
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Old 4th August 2007, 5:21 AM   #12
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no man no cry, but numb

Good yet to come, I will pray for all of us
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Old 4th August 2007, 7:10 AM   #13
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I used to hate my life alone. I used to be hard
That's probably why.
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And you get to face the irony that you outlived the value of anything you ever did.
It's not too late. There is time. Not much of it, and it's ticking away at an alarming pace. But the good news is that there is still a small chance. Maybe small isn't the right word. Whatever. I was trying to be extra optimistic for you. Small was about as big as I was comfortable going. Having said that, it might well be as big as small. Who knows, really.
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Old 4th August 2007, 11:43 AM   #14
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I feel burnt out and asexual.
You're not the only one
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Old 4th August 2007, 12:05 PM   #15
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Humm...

Quote:
Originally Posted by johan View Post
Who said I had no enthusiasm for anything? I'm actually pretty content with things.

My problem is that when I see a woman I'm attracted to, I tell the whole story in my head, all the way to the bitter end. And figure it's better just to move on. I know how relationships go. Why bother making her make me unhappy? Why sign up to disappoint her and/or to be disappointed by her? Don't we both have better things to do?
from what I read...you don't have much enthusiasm... and I don't think you are 'content' with things...

You have a negative outlook on being single... If you don't want to be bothered because you don't want to be burnt or as you say, sign up for disappointment...it's quite different from someone who actually enjoy his freedom and loving to be single...

You don't like to be single...you just don't like the idea of being disappointed... there's a huge difference.
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