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I threw it all away


confusedforsolong

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confusedforsolong

I wrote a thread recently that explained my situation.

Making a Mistake?

I just split up with my girlfriend of 3 years. She is heartbroken I feel guilty.

I moved back to my country of birth after been away for 20 years. After encountering troubled times I left my son there. When I came here I went back to see him every year but due to financial probs I missed going for a year. I now want to be with my son, my ex cannot return with me as she has her own daughter and responsibilities. I had to make a decision to either stay with her or go. I have chosen to go.... My family is there, my son and a possible romoantic relationship.

We split up a few times in 3 years as well as had a long distance relationship for half of it. Whenever we split up, be it for a week or however long, she always went straight to dating sites and in most cases ended up sleeping with another man. Time after time it happened and I took her back. I would not do such a thing as for me sex is special. She says its how she deals with it.

Last week she did the same again, during this time where my heart is in turmoil whether to stay or go. It seems to compound my decision but I still love her so much.

 

What I want to know is, am i feeling guilt right now? I know its a selfish decision and i should never have embarked on such a relationship but I didnt know how i was going to feel 3 years later.

 

I am really confused as she never once during this bad period asked me to stay, to reconsider or that she would fight for me. Only on the last time we saw each other (last night) Why could she not have asked sooner? I may have been more perceptive to her feelings. I love her but I think its guilt that I feel now.

 

Please help!!!!

 

Since then I have come to my senses and realised that it is her that I want in my life. But I fear its too late. She wont answer my calls, neither my emails. SHe says she doesnt want anything to do with me.

I am hurting and dont know what to do......

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  • 4 weeks later...
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confusedforsolong

This past weekend I have come clean with my ex, explaining everything that has happened. I told her about the other girl I told her that I had lied to cover up. She is still talking to me but is very hurt as I can understand.

 

How can I get her to trust me again?

I know that I wont ever do anything like this again, she wants to believe me but cant. What special thing can I do to show her my feelings are sincere?

I am now ready for the long haul with her after all of this.

 

She says talking is just idle words, which I am good at.

What motion can I do to let her see that I truly love her?

As far as I can see I am writing her a letter and making her a card.

 

If she didnt want me to go she wouldnt talk to me.

 

Help

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