JDREW311 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I dated this particular girl during my freshmen and sophomore year of high school and we remained friends until school ended, which was in 1998. I saw her out from time to time, but nothing ever came out of it, plus I had a girlfriend anyway. To make a long story short, I found her online earlier this year and we began talking frequently. We then went out a few times just as friends and never expected to fall for one another again, but eventually that's what happened. We began getting serious and were together almost everyday. She constantly said how happy she was and that she's never felt like this before and she's so glad we found each other again...etc. Honestly, we had no problems and were crazy about each other. Then a couple of weeks ago she tells me she's not sure if she is ready for a relationship and that she needs to make herself happy first. All of this came out of nowhere and it was the last thing I expected because everything was perfect. She's the one who always told me to be secure and that she knows she'll never leave me. But she did. I guess I'm just looking for some answers and advice. It's really hard to deal with because there were no warning signs. SHould I just let her do her thing and figure things out or should I try and get her back? I was truly in love with this girl and she still says she's in love with me, but she doesn't feel she can be the girlfriend I deserve. What to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 there were no warning signs. are you sure? are you saying everything was just great; she was laughing at your corny jokes, reaching for your hand as you walk down the street, kissing you goodnight, and then the next day...wham, she dumps you? Link to post Share on other sites
richardcruz Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I think this girl just has other issues going on and other insecurities within herself. Obviously she's confused if one day she's saying she's happy and the next day she's saying she's not ready. Even if you reassured her that she would be a good girlfriend for you and you listed all the good qualities that you liked about her, I bet she still would be unsure. There's alot of that going around "one day they feel one way, the next day the feel totally different" type deal. Anyways by looking through alot of these forums and looking at my own situation, most of the time the best thing you can do is sit back and let her find her on way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JDREW311 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 are you sure? are you saying everything was just great; she was laughing at your corny jokes, reaching for your hand as you walk down the street, kissing you goodnight, and then the next day...wham, she dumps you? Honestly, I'm not just saying this. I'm not being naive and it's really the way it was. She always laughed and made it a point to show me she loved me. Even up to a few days prior to the break up she kept talking about me moving in with her and that she knows I'm the one. She was full of reassurance. That's why this is so confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 richardcruz has nailed it. The only other thing you can do is probably talk to her and find out if she is having some problems , insecurities etc and how you can help her if so. My ex gf came up to me one day and said , I am leaving and just left , no signs or indications... It happens to some of us , I know what you must be going through. Keep heart and keep your hopes up and talk to her if you can Link to post Share on other sites
Author JDREW311 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 richardcruz has nailed it. The only other thing you can do is probably talk to her and find out if she is having some problems , insecurities etc and how you can help her if so. My ex gf came up to me one day and said , I am leaving and just left , no signs or indications... It happens to some of us , I know what you must be going through. Keep heart and keep your hopes up and talk to her if you can Well she was having some financial problems when this all started and those problems led into other problems like self-esteem issues. She is such a beautiful and smart girl, but she thinks she's not where she should be in life at her age. She feels like she's not worthy enough to be with me and like she hasn't accomplished anything, but she has. We had a great talk last week about things, but she hasn't called me back since. I don't get it. She needs to be happy with herself first, but we had an amazing thing going. Some people are telling me to back off and others are telling me to try and contact her, so I don't know what's best. Link to post Share on other sites
rkman Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Look at it this way, she obviously cares about your well being because she is being repsonsible enough to look out for the comfort of the both of you. Remain friends with her, control your urges. Don't be selfish and push her, let her sort her things out, and she will most likely grow to you slowly but surely. Link to post Share on other sites
mending_heart Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Wow. Your situation is so similar to mine, its uncanny. It is heartbreaking isnt it? How someone can say such wonderful things one day, and have it hold absolutely no truth to it the next. I think sometimes people are just confused about their emotions. I wouldnt hold it against her, people are confused all the time You two seem to have broken up on relatively good terms. Just let her be (as others have said) and she'll sort things out on her own. Its a hard time I know, but we have to let the ones we love go and find their way. If she wants to talk to you, she'll contact you. Until then, no contact is probably the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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