954 Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 After 6 years of relationship my gf decides that she wants some space and that she doesn't know what she wants. We have a house and car togehter and that is the problem. i love her so much and i dont know how this happened. I finally left last weekend so she could figure out what she wanted. She didn't want to me to leave but she also didnt know what she wanted. And i am tried of feeling that pain of does she want this or not. So now i have no house, no car and all of my friends are now 30 miles away. Anonther problem is that we work at the same place and we still have to see each other. I am in the process of trying to transfer elsewhere. Do you think that she will ever come around? There were rumors at work that upset her about us. I was accused of saying them but did not, someone is out to sabatoge me. She has been going out and getting drunk every weekend too. She has never drank the whole 6 years that we have been together like that. when i tried to talk to her about the rumors she told me to get away. Also if she wants the house and car there is no way she can afford it. I just want things to be normal again ,and i want my life back. I feel like i am making a huge sacrafice and she is getting by easy. No one knows why this happened her family is also baffled. We got in a fight a month ago about her bosses cell phone # being in her phone and that is what started it. she told me they are just friends but she acted like she tried to hide it from me by abbreviatoing his initials. he has a girlfriend as well. her brother passed away last year and i noticed a change in her since then she seems really depressed alot. i just miss her so much. i hate to loose all of this and her. Any help you guys have would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
batesal Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Well, 1st I want to tell you that I was in the same situation as you, but I didn't work with my ex.. She told me that she needed space and time to figure out what she wanted in life, and we were living together at the time. I left, but I had found out that she had been talking to someone else ALOT and getting drunk, and she never drank the whole time we were together. It hurts to see someone you love and care about begin to change and you don't know why. I don't know either but what I can tell you is that she is hiding something, and she doesn't want to hurt you so she asked you to leave. Yeah there can be a rumor going on that indicates you, but if she really loved you she wouldn't beleive it, and would laugh about it. Think about it. I cannot say that she will come around and realize what she did was wrong, but you cannot asume anything. Either she will come back, or she will not. You need to be ready for whatever. It honestly may take a while before she decides what she wants, but you have to stand your ground and leave her be. Try to avoid talking to her as much as possible to see if she really loves and misses you. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
BeHappy Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Whenever she is willing to talk about her problems, she will contact you... if you push it, she will pull alway... just wait for her to contact you... and try to hang out with your friends... go see a movie... or something to keep your mind off of her.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 954 Posted May 31, 2006 Author Share Posted May 31, 2006 well just an update on whats going on. My gf or ex now left me a note at my locker at work saying it was over last thursday. She said that we have nothing in common anymore and that we have grown apart. And she also stated that she wanted to be alone because she says she has always had someone beside her. It makes me mad that in 6 years she cannot do this face to face she is 25 for gosh sakes. She is acting like she is 12. We have not spoken at all since the day i left the house which was 2 weeks ago. Well come to find out the thing with my boss was something she was at the bar with him thursday night and they have been together ever since. This is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with. I have to go to work now and see this crap go on in front of face. She lied to me about everything. Why couldn't she just tell me that she wanted to be with him instead of making it sound like everything was my fault. And now she has my car and my house. What do i do? I dont want anything to do with her right now. i dont want to see her,dont want to talk to her, or look at her. It hurts so much knowing she has moved on without me. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Sorry your going thru this.. Just an observation .. it sounds to me that she has someone in the wings.. When a woman her age says they want to date no one and be alone that is the last thing they want.. I think she is clearing her slate so she can date the new guy.. Because I said it doesn't make it true but from what I have seen and heard it sounds like it to me. Protect yourself with the house and your money.. Don't let her take advantage of you at this point.. she is likely going to let you believe that nobody is in the wings so you will be nice and feel sorry for her and give her everything she wants.. Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodhubbie Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Are both of you on the mortgage? If so, since you are not married there is no reason why she should wind up with the house. It should be sold and the proceeds split between the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 I just read your last post.. Sorry.. In reality she hasn't really moved on yet.. She is just sowing her oats at your emotional expense.. Please protect yourself on the house and don't give her anything she doesn't rightfully own Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 you need to go check out a lawyer to see just what you can get. If you both bought the house and the car together then you need to make sure that you get your share of anything out of it Link to post Share on other sites
Love Hurts Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 You obviously love her.......... walking away and leaving her with everything even if she can't afford to pay for it alone. Take a breath, regroup. Talk with her.... if this is seriously the end. Divide what you two have worked for in half. The problem is you are so hurt you are not thinking clearly. In the aftermath of this situation you will wake up and find yourself with lot more pain... having lost all assets. Alls fair in love and war.. I am sorry for your pain............. Who knows? You may get back together.............. Sometimes a woman that feels jilted wants her behind kissed .... and I mean alot.. You should do alot of butt kissing.................... If that doesn't work... then she can kiss yours good bye and just move on. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
brisman Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 She may want her behind kissed, but She doesn't deserve to have it kissed (no-one worth while does) and Are you prepared to sell your dignity up the river ?? Mate, this has happened to us all. It sucks. But the best thing you can do for now, both to salvage your self-respect and to maximise your chances of her coming back (note: not your getting her back - you can't do that) is to maintain your cool at all costs and cut her out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
lilly126 Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Wow, I'm sorry this has happened to you! It's a very sad and unfortunate situation. However, your instincts about her "boss" were obviously right on. It sucks, and there's no excuse for how she's treated you in this situation. If I were you, as soon as you straighten out the details of the car and house, I would move jobs too. It might seem to yourself like you're walking away with your tail between your legs, but don't think of it that way! Instead, realize that you're going to need to be as far away from her as possible in order to process these events and move on. I know it hurts, but in time, it will feel better. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 954 Posted June 3, 2006 Author Share Posted June 3, 2006 hey everyone, Just an update for everyone who has been following this. We decided that she can have the car, i will just go out and get another one no problem. As for the house i have my lawyer working on that. She wont talk to me what it is to do with the house so got a lawyer. I had to call her sister the other day to get some things out of there because she took my key and she is not happy about any of this. She says that she has not spoken to her in over a week and they were really close before all this. She also told me that this guy has been telling her that he thinks he loves her and wants to marry her and have kids. give me a break, they dont even know each other. sounds to me like he is just trying to reel her in and then let her go few months down the road. I have a couple job interviews next week so that will be great to get away from most of this. She tried to talk to me at work last night and i just walked by with a smile on my face and didn't break stride i think that really bothered her. I have had NC since all this happened and i think its starting to sink in to her that i want to move on and put this behind me. One day she might realize what she did, maybe not, only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
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