Being misunderstood is the hardest part

[kubic2]

[sIZE=5]I know I've posted a couple threads on this subject but now after a couple weeks I still feel the same way about her and even though, and this may sound crazy, but not being with her right now doesn't hurt that much even though I still love her.

 

Before my girlfriend broke up with me we had a great relationship. Before we got together, she decided to give her ex-boyfriend a second chance. That night I had planned on giving her a cd with all these love songs because I wanted to show her what she meant to me. I gave it to her after I found out anyways. Afterwords she me gave me a dozen roses with one plastic one and said she wanted to be with me until the last one dies. So I gave her a second chance which is nothing short of a miracle because I never give girls a second chance.

 

After that she would tell me how I was the best guy she's been with. Her family even told me I treated her better than any of her ex's. She would call me 10 times a day and always wanted to see me and when it was time to say goodnight, she never let me leave.

 

Well one friday we had plans and she instead spent the night with her family. Besides I didn't see her at all that week and I didn't know when I could see her next. She works two jobs and goes to school. I had a very bad day and got in a fight with my father minutes before she called to tell me that she couldn't see me so I blew up at her. I said that I didn't know what was going on, why she had to see her family instead of me, if she wanted to be with her ex than just go back to him, and when you wanna be with someone you make the time to see them. I tried to tell her how sorry I was and even wrote her a song.

 

A couple days later she called and said she couldn't have a boyfriend she needed space and time to get her life in order because she was stressed out about everything. Then she said she didn't want to feel obligated to see me every night, I was dwelling on my past about what every girl has done to me, and family is most important . Later I found out she was also upset because she said that when she complains about things she just wanted me to listen and not tell her I have been in a similar situations. She ended with, "I still like you and want to be friends."

 

She misunderstood me because I don't want her to feel obligated to see me every night because she has so much to do, I was afraid of her going back with with ex again because he was still talking to her and coming around, and I've always believed family comes first. The only reason I brought up situations of my life when she complained because I wanted her to feel that I was listening to her and I understood how she felt.

 

So does anybody have any thoughts or advice on how can I show her she was misunderstood, about what I can do to try to get her back? Because she means the world to me. Her B-day is friday should I at least give her a card because anything else may be inappropriate saying the situation.

 

All I really want is a second chance with her because I really did give her a second chance even though I probably never would have. I am very happy with my decision because I greatly appreciate the timeand feelings we shared

 

Even if we don't get back together I still want to show her that I am sorry for what I did and would like for her to forgive me becauseshereally is the best girl I've ever met and I guess I can settle with just being friends with her because thatis how much she means to me

 

Your responses really do help me cope with the situation. Thank You.

[/sIZE]

[mini696]

I feel your pain, and unfortuantly I have no suggestions.

 

My last relationship contained a LOT of misunderstandings... I cant put my thoughts out properly and would always "put my foot in it."

 

All you can do is be on your best behaviour from now on, and hopefully she will forgive you.

[cylai]

hi:

 

why not find a suitable place and time to really talk to her?

although things might not work out after the talk, but it should make you feel better.

May the light be with you!

[Chinook]

You know... sometimes, at the beginning of a relationship you go through this period of push/pull where you're each finding your comfort zone. Sometimes, that includes letting go of past exes and past experiences... and realising that the person you are with ISN'T like that. Even if the end result is that you don't end up in a committed relationship - but have a friendship instead. When it comes right down to it... you guys are apart. If you really think there may be some way of salvaging anything without either of you hurting further, then what do you have to lose by trying to talk..? However, I'm kind of sensing a hint of pain about your post and I do wonder whether you're setting yourself up for more. If I'm wrong... great. If not, I'd advise NC. Keeping contact when the reality of the situation is that things have changed is just too painful and will get more so as one of you moves on.