some encouragement PLEASE

[ginger1]

Ok, I've posted before and STILL haven't left him, but I'm beginning to drive myself insane. I really have no clue how to end things with my boyfriend of 2 years. He has a good heart, but ALOT of baggage and NO ambition to improve his life in any manner. I'm 26, he's 25. He has a 3 year old and a 5 year old that spend every weekend with us. In the 2 years we've dated, he has never owned a car, so I have to drive him EVERYWHERE. He's an extremely depressed person, has no friends and every free minute I have has to be dedicated to him. I'm completely sick of being treated more like a slave than a girlfriend. There are a few instances in the past where he has gotten slightly physical with me during an argument, so I'm slightly afraid of what will happen if I leave him. Not to mention the fact that it worries me about what he will do to himself. I still consider him a very good friend, but I know he's not what I want for my future. I have also met someone new that is emotionally stable, financially stable, and has goals in life. We've spent quite alot of time together just talking, nothing more, but he's much more the type of person I can see a future with. Now, since I have met someone new, my family is pushing me to get rid of the current one, and has been extremely judgemental and cold toward me for not ending it already. I'm just really afraid to do it and I need some advice as to how to end this as painlessly as possible. I can't sleep, I can't eat, and I'm getting extremely depressed because I'm so stressed out and unhappy. I would really love some advice as to how I can do this. Any thought are GREATLY appreciated.

 

At the end of my rope, please help me!!!

Ginger

[Art_Critic]

It sounds to me that you have already made your decision and you just have to find the courage to pull the trigger.

 

Remember that by continuing to let things go as is you are making the inevitable pain for him worse.

 

I would just sit him down and talk to him and don't tell him it is because he is depressed etc.. tell him something along the lines of you have grown in a different direction and want to break up..

 

Stay strong.. something tells me that the reason you haven't done it yet is because you know he will try to get you back..

 

Make sure your feet are firmly planted and don't sway from your position.. it is the healthiest for you both.

[ginger1]

You're right that I have made up my mind and that I know what I want, but I do actually still love him. The thought of hurting him is what make this so hard. Knowing that I'm going to cause him so much pain is what is stressing me out so much. This is a case where love just isn't enough though. I love him, and care about him, but a relationship can't work if the other person is insecure, depressed, and unhappy with themselves. I just don't want to cause him any pain. I'm so confused!!!!

 

Ginger

[Kengne II]

Because at the end of the day, you always, ALWAYS have to do what is right for YOU - even when it hurts the most.

 

By not wanting to hurt him NOW - by ending things now - you are actually prolonging and intensifying the inevitable hurt he WILL feel - when you end things, or they just break down utterly & completely - LATER.

 

You deseve more - and so does he.

 

Do not imagine that you are helping anyone in this situation.

Please let him go.

 

I ended things with an ex 6 years - at the time I felt awful because like you - I felt he was going nowhere, but he loved me. And I loved, but was no longer IN love with him.

 

Once I made the decision to end, I did it quickly. And guess what - HE GOT OVER ME! He moved on. He is now very happy with someone else. Perhaps he would not have found her, had I dragged the relationship on and on.

 

So think of it like that, and set him free to be happy - as you pursue your own happiness.

 

K.