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bestfriends can't be together he said...


lost_in_a_dream

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lost_in_a_dream

... which was his excuse as to why he was breaking things off with me. We've been seeing one another since July but made it official a month ago. As in- no dating other people. We were great- meeting parents, meeting friends, becoming as intimate as a relationship could get.

 

THEN Friday night he acted differently. Actually, he was a noshow to an important business meeting and lied about his whereabouts... then at dinner that night he was very hot/cold. On our way home I made him tell me what was going on in his head (we have/had a very open relationship) and he said that he was scared to lose me as a friend so he wanted to end our relationship now and keep me as his best friend.

 

sigh...

 

I found out that he's been seeing another girl for the past week. He claimed that nothing is going on but I no longer am able to believe him. I want to, but can't go against my better judgement.

 

So here's my question:

 

Can a guy make love to a girl, tell her how much she means to him and then up and say (the next day) that they're better off as friends? I must also add that he told a mutual guy friend he thought I was The One. I was told by this mutual friend that my guy had so many good and beautiful things to say to me and that he couldn't wait until our relationship blossomed into something more. After that 'better off as friends' convo with my guy I called our mutual friend (Tom) and was like 'WHAT THE HECK?' He was just as amazed and upset by it all.

 

So any help, any response, anything...

 

I love him. I don't think he's been physical with this other girl but I think that he's scared to make a commitment to someone who he knows will always be there anyways (as his friend). We started as FWB, if that makes any sense. Bah... now I'm rambling... I see him everyday at work and even tonight after we cried together and argued together he said 'make sure you give me a call later.' This is my first breakup since my fiance broke things off with me 2 years ago... it's also his first real breakup since his fiance broke things off with him in January.

 

I want him back. If it's another woman, damnit, I will fight for him. If you all think it's not her, then let me know so I don't look like a fool.

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anotherconfusedlover

If it is another woman than you would do yourself no good by trying to keep him or prove yourself to be "better" for him. Any way you look at if he is exploring other women than he needs to be left alone. Because you aren't exploring other men are you? And if you were would you actually be loving this guy? That just doesn't add up. Love has to be mutual, and it just sucks when it isn't. Do yourself a favor and realize that this isn't true love. I am trying to do the same. I think true love is so powerful that you won't and he won't think about any other person. The right person for you is out there, but I don't think it's this confused and wishy/washy guy. Go out and forget about him. Seems like you were both rebounds for each other.

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AMEN...agreed...I had the exact thing happen to me...I found out his ex was pregnant.. and everything changed...All the great times planned and what I thought was my first real relationship took a nosedive in a matter of days..Nobody can get in their head...and I have learned not to trust their best friends...they have known them longer and they don' want to lose them if you involve them in an argument...which i did...but it's ok now..Let him go.. and if he comes back and you want to date them..do it...but just don't fall into the same trap...now you know the signs to look for..let me know how it goes..

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