Lbritovd Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 Hi, So I’m finding my situation VERY confusing and I don’t know where to go from here. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 5 years and broke up because we had a massive break down in communication which lead to arguments and we stopped a majority of the intimacy. He then admitted to me that he wasn’t in the mindset to commit to buying a house and settling down. We have been broken up for 2 and a half months and in this time he has started to date another girl (2 weeks after we broke up). Since we have been broken up we haven’t gone no contact.. we’ve had a lot of discussions and for the first time in our relationship we have discussed what went wrong and have agreed what would need to change if we were to get back together. BUT.. he is still not ready to commit and says he’s “enjoying getting to know” this other girl. He keeps telling me that we both need to move on and let go and let our relationship be like a “boomerang”.. let go and hope that it comes back. But every time we agree to not communicate he finds some sort of excuse to talk to me and he asks me questions about if I’m talking to other guys. He also stalks my Instagram stories even though he doesn’t follow me - to the point where he will actually watch my stories when he’s out on dates with this other girl. I just don’t know what to do. I know I should cut all contact with him but I find it difficult especially when he reaches out to me. Can anyone give me advice please?!? Link to post Share on other sites
emeraldgreen Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 He's bored and wants to bang a new girl while stalking you to make sure you don't do the same with a new guy. He was ready to do this before your breakup. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 You need to cut all contact with him. I feel you want this guy back. He is playing with another girl though. This is not the way for a decent guy to behave. If you stay in contact with him, he will not respect you. He will think you are there, sitting in the background waiting for him, while he enjoys getting to know other girls. You need to be tough here and cut him off. Whether you two get back together is a separate issue in a way. This guy needs to learn he cannot treat you like this. At the moment, he is getting away with it because he has you and her. You need to give up on him, cut him off and make him realise that you will not put up with his behaviour and reward him with your company. He is like a child with his mother. You are the mother in the kitchen. The girl is the friend he 'plays' with until he is tired and needs his mother. He is immature and not ready for the kind of relationship you need. He needs a hard lesson in life; that partners are not mothers - they will not put up with everything and hang around while he makes love with other women. It is best you emotionally detach from this guy and don't hang onto the idea of getting back with him. He has to know you are serious about disconnecting and that he does not have you any longer. You deserve better. You deserve respect. His behaviour is totally disrespectful. He needs to know what he has lost. Please don't allow him any contact, for your own sake, otherwise he just has you on a string. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Stop contact with him for a good, long while. My money would be on him having met this other girl before you broke up, and that being a significant factor in why you two split. Relationship tend to struggle tremendously when one partner is emotionally checked out and sniffing around other options. He keeps tabs on you because he wants to make sure you'll be there to lick his wounds in case things don't work out with his new girl. Don't do this to yourself. Let him know you cannot continue to be in touch, even as "friends", when you do not have the same goals in continued contact. If he gets upset, well, tough ta-tas. Not your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 NC is the answer for you. When he comes back after his "vacation" that will be another problem for you to handle. Be prepared for it. Best Wishes Link to post Share on other sites
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