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Did I accidentally break up with her?


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TheCanadianGuy94

So I (M24) was seeing someone (F20) for a couple months, we went on several dates and had the best chemistry I've ever experienced. For context, neither of us have much experience with dating.

 

We texted everyday and when we hungout in person a few times a week we could talk for hours. It felt so natural and easy. Eventually she asked me if I wanted to be with her and I gladly accepted. Then a week later her uni exams start.

 

During exams I noticed she texted me way less, as in barely a text a day, if that. Sometimes I wouldn't even get a single text back until the next day. I would try to find time to see her on my days off but she was always busy and made no effort to find even a small window of time.

 

She would often apoligize, say she wanted to see me and that her exams would be done soon. But after nearly THREE WEEKS without seeing her I started getting very anxious. I asked her if she was free last weekend and she completely dodged the question so I finally broke.

 

I told her that although school is the top priority, I haven't seen her in nearly three weeks, barely hear from her and that I wasn't sure I could be with someone who treats me like an after thought. I told her I cared about her but it was hurtful. She's also leaving the province next month until December. (I was okay with long distance but we never talked about it)

 

She responds the next day apologizing, saying she feels like a **** person and says she's not in the right space to be seeing anyone. I message back saying I'm sorry she felt that way but that id respect her decision and I really enjoyed getting to know her.

 

It's been a few days and I'm honestly heartbroken and confused. We never fought or had any issues, there was no red flags. But now I'm worried she thought I wanted it to end and pulled the plug herself. What should I do?

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TheCanadianGuy94
Just to confirm you were officially boyfriend and girlfriend and had slept with each other etc?

Yes, in fact she was the one that asked me.

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TheCanadianGuy94
She wanted to break up with you but lacked the courage tell you so she made you do it. Time to move on.

 

This has been my theory. Although I still have no idea what the catalyst was. We only became a couple like a week before we stopped seeing each other.

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ExpatInItaly
She wanted to break up with you but lacked the courage tell you so she made you do it. Time to move on.

 

Yes, this.

 

You may never know what the catalyst was, OP. A change of heart about commitment, another guy, there are so many possibilities. I know it sucks and it's confusing, but this wasn't a girl who was still interested. You pulling the plug was just doing what she lacked the courage to do herself.

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