an0nym0us123 Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Recently dated a girl I really liked who ended up telling me she didn't want to see me again by txt. I responded by saying I was really disappointed and really like her a lot. But I made zero attempt to change her mind. I wished her the best, said good bye and walked away. I didnt even say if she works things out to contact me. I will never contact her again. Although I revealed my feelings for her I have shown I am strong enough to walk away and keep my s*** together. but she know how i feel about her. I certainly did not beg. Alternatively I could have responded to her blow off txt with "c ya!" Or "bye" and walked away. This would convey that I couldn't care less that she blew me off. And didn't give a s*** So in the woman's mind which leaves her with the most respect/attraction for the guy and maybe leaving a slim chance of her changing her mind ( although not likely) Disclose your feelings and walk? Or act like you don't care and walk? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 You handled it correctly. If you had been nasty about it you would have appeared hurt, childish and rude. I'm sure she respected the way you responded. Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 I didnt even say if she works things out to contact me. I will never contact her again.Which means you were, in fact, butt hurt in spite of trying to present an uncaring exterior. Disclose your feelings and walk? Or act like you don't care and walk? Why is there only two choices??? Why do you have to "dump feelings"?...or "act" like something? How about another option that is more classy and shows more maturity? Such as, "If you work things out contact me, but I wish you the best." and THEN walk. It shows you are mature enough to be open to possibilities without puking up your "feelings" to her. It positions her as being the one that needs to work something out rather than you. It lets her know that it may be possible for her to fix it. And the [calmly] walking away shows you can move on with your life if she doesn't. So now you have not made an enemy and you can be civil toward each other if you bump into each other later and shown you can have the character that she can respect. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Speaking as a woman.... If I’m breaking up with a guy by text message, how he responds is irrelevant. I would be past the point of caring about his response if I’m that detached or uninvested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 Oh, there's no way I would have revealed feelings at that point because at that point of knowing it's not returned, my feelings have just changed. I would either have not responded at all and blocked her or said something like, "Yes, I agree we're not a good match. Happy trails." Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted July 12, 2019 Share Posted July 12, 2019 If I was on the receiving end of a break up text I'm thinking I would probably either (1) not respond at all, or (2) simply text something like "thanks for letting me know" (so many people apparently just ghost now). I certainly wouldn't reference my feelings since they are irrelevant to them at this point and I wouldn't be giving them any chances in the future if they came back around, so need to make them think I would. But you did the right thing by not going off on her or trying to change her mind That wouldn't have accomplished anything beyond making you look petty or desperate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 How about a fourth option of not answering? It should tell you something of her character that she lacks respect and fortitude by breaking up via text. A coward move that doesnt deserve a response. Class deserves class, cowardice deserves nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 I'll give her this, at least she was forthcoming about breaking up and didn't ghost, but the best response would have been none. At that point in time since she took the low road, you didn't owe her anything more by that point. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 after I got the break up text I would have said/done nothing and moved on to the next girl Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 The reason I might say I agreed with the breakup is because with no response, I don't want them flattering themselves that I might be sitting around heartbroken and them feeling pity. Acting like you agree also leaves it where it's not so awkward if you run into them. Link to post Share on other sites
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