lilpomp Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Okay so, I already posted a while back and i'm just gonna give an update to the situation and prefer using a new thread. Last Friday, we met so we could exchange our stuff. She came into my office and the first thing that she did was give me a 15 second hug. We talked for an hour and a half about the situation. She wants me to move on with my life because she has depression. She doesn't want her to be a burden on me even though I told her I can stay and help her. I know there are some things that she wanted me to change and I told her I would. She dreamt about me talking to other girls, She told me she's always checking if i'm online. She asked me if I was going out then she refrained and told me not to tell her because it will make her worry. She also feels sad when she imagines me with other women. She also messaged me later that day she asked if she could tell me one last thing which was that she cut her hair. She told me that she's watching love films and that she ate a tub of ice-cream (i know this isn't imporant). Then she ended and told me Bye... for the last time and finished with a sad emoji. I told her that if she wants, she knows were i'll be, and I told her Goodnight where she replied "Night :)". I don't know what I should do. Help me? My last post : https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/685304-depressed-girlfriend-left-me Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 You leave her alone, delete her number out of your phone and go "no contact". Tonight (after work) you go home, grab a shower and get down to you local bar/pub and start looking for someone new. NEXT!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilpomp Posted June 17, 2019 Author Share Posted June 17, 2019 You leave her alone, delete her number out of your phone and go "no contact". Tonight (after work) you go home, grab a shower and get down to you local bar/pub and start looking for someone new. NEXT!! Great, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Depressed people think they are worthless. She thinks she is being noble by releasing you. In a sense she is because you can't fix this for her. If you were married that would be one thing; my husband was a tremendous source of support when I was in the throws of my worst depression but if we had just been dating & we weren't living together I probably would have been encouraging him to leave if he had not walked out on his own. She doesn't have the energy to be in a relationship. even if she's playing games & secretly wants you to chase her to prove that you care, that will only work for a while. You can't prop her up indefinitely & when she does get stronger she won't appreciate what you did for her by sticking around. Rather she will see you as flawed because you stooped down to put up with her nonsense when she was at her lowest. She will lose respect for you. It's a no win situation for you so your best way is to take the exit she has offered. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilpomp Posted June 17, 2019 Author Share Posted June 17, 2019 Depressed people think they are worthless. She thinks she is being noble by releasing you. In a sense she is because you can't fix this for her. If you were married that would be one thing; my husband was a tremendous source of support when I was in the throws of my worst depression but if we had just been dating & we weren't living together I probably would have been encouraging him to leave if he had not walked out on his own. She doesn't have the energy to be in a relationship. even if she's playing games & secretly wants you to chase her to prove that you care, that will only work for a while. You can't prop her up indefinitely & when she does get stronger she won't appreciate what you did for her by sticking around. Rather she will see you as flawed because you stooped down to put up with her nonsense when she was at her lowest. She will lose respect for you. It's a no win situation for you so your best way is to take the exit she has offered. Thanks for the reply again, She told me it's not that she doesn't love me, She wants to be with me but right now she can't. I want to help her because she told me she cut everything, she stopped going to yoga etc. The thing also is, she wants to be alone, she's not talking to her dad or anybody, just 1 friend. Thats why im trying to help her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 You are a compassionate person & you care but you can't fix this for her. Save yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 Thats why im trying to help her. Are you a medical professional well versed in depression?? If not, you can't help her. Let the doctors, therapists, etc. who know what they are doing try to assist her with HER depression. Stop trying to make this your problem for you to fix. My long term girlfriend suffers from depression, I stay out of it and just date the way I've always dated. She has doctors and medical people who work with her on this issue. I do nothing "out of the ordinary" because of her depression. If she decides one day that her depression is too much and breaks up with me, so be it. I'll move on to the next. Link to post Share on other sites
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